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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Lightbulb Am I Going Crazy ? - July 1st 2011, 03:13 PM

i know there alot of threads in this forum ,

but i thought i would be happy when the pain goes , but now its gone and i'm on my way to recovery i actually miss the pain ..
does anyone have this feeling sometimes ?
or is it because my normal emotion is feeling pain and emptiness , and I've just gotten used to it . ( had depression for 5 years )

now i feel i guess , like a person without depression would feel like , im wishing to feel that pain , and to cry every night , even though when i was in that state i wished it to end .. everything is so mental . .

why on earth do i want that pain , it it because its a part of me or it gave me a purpose ..
why do i wish do want to have that pain so i can eventually kill myself from the pain..
i just feel so empty atm , and i haate it !

grrr ..

kimberly beth x


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Re: Am I Going Crazy ? - July 1st 2011, 03:27 PM

I honestly don't know why you feel that way. But I know what you are talkign about.
When I first started my medication, I was very hesitant, because I didn't think that I
wanted to be happy. Now that I've gotten used to it it's better, but I do sometimes
still just want to feel sad. I don't know why it happens, but you aren't the only one who feels that way. And I'm sure there are more people besides you and I who have
had this weird feeling.

I hope that you get to feeling better soon.
   
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Re: Am I Going Crazy ? - July 1st 2011, 04:05 PM

I am trying to get better but I feel like sometimes I just want to stay the same. I want to change though at the same time. It is very confusing and causes me a lot of stress. I am sure I understand. I want to be better yet I don't....
   
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Re: Am I Going Crazy ? - July 1st 2011, 07:54 PM

yeah it is very strange and confusing ..
i mean a part of me wants to get better but another part wants me go back to that depressive state ..
how every thing sucks ..
thankyou for replies
much love x


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Re: Am I Going Crazy ? - July 1st 2011, 08:01 PM

hey kim (: maybe its because you got used to that feeling and without it you dont know what to do cause you were so used to the feeling beforee :/
   
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Re: Am I Going Crazy ? - July 1st 2011, 08:07 PM

that's a perfect explanation i guess ..
just all ive ever felt was pain and without it im lost ..
i dont know what it feels to be happy , and ive got so comfortable with feeling that way .. just everything is so meeh :// x x


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Re: Am I Going Crazy ? - July 1st 2011, 08:58 PM

You're definitely not crazy! I know exactly what you're talking about and am actually going through that same sort of thing right now. I know for me, I sometimes miss feeling depressed because that's where I found myself for such a long time, I got comfortable in that state. So know you're not alone in these feelings. And if you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to PM me.


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life." --John Lennon

"What matters isn't that you fell, but that you got back up. No matter how many times it takes, it's that you get back up. We fall down and all isn't lost." --Renee Yohe
   
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Re: Am I Going Crazy ? - July 2nd 2011, 02:36 PM

No worries, it's totally normal to feel like that.

You are not crazy at all, you're letting go of something that was in your life for a very long time, regardless if it was good or bad, it still sucks to let it go.

Remember though, that you're gaining something that you didn't have before, the opportunity to feel better about yourself, and about situations that you are in. It can be very hard to all of the sudden change how you are, or how you feel, because it's kind of by choice but at the same time you know it's from losing something.

To miss it, is perfectly normal. Once it's gone though, you're going to realize how happy you are without it, and how much better you feel and can deal with things.

<3
   
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