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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Unhappy um. urgent help. please? - July 1st 2011, 11:25 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I want to kill myself by Monday. I'm so scared because its like something in my mind has changed. I know I'm ready to do it. Nothing else will help.

Please. I don't know what to do or say. I've planned out my suicide notes and want to write them soon. There are enough tablets for an overdose to work I think.

I'm so scared.
   
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Re: um. urgent help. please? - July 1st 2011, 11:39 PM

Please don't give up! We all care about you. I don't know what is making you want to go through with this but please, please don't. You are worth so much more! Please stay strong because As much as I am sure you have heard this, YOU ARE STRONG! You have lived this long and I know it's tough but I know you can do this. I believe in you. Please If you need someone to talk to. PLEASE PM me or anything. Please don't do this. I may not know you but I CARE. <3
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: um. urgent help. please? - July 1st 2011, 11:40 PM

Hey sweetie,

I know how you're feeling. But please know, suicide isn't the answer. It may seem like it, but it's not. For starters, things can get better. As unlikely as it may seem, in moments like these. Second, people love and care about you. I don't know what you've went through or had to deal with to make you want to take this way out, but please don't. Believe me, it will cause your family and friends a lot of heartache.
I'm so sorry you're hurting, you don't deserve that. Is there anyone (family, friends, teacher, counselor, a friend's parent) that you can talk to about how you're feeling?

Please please try to stay strong and keep your chin up. Things can get better.<3

Don't hesitate to PM/VM/Add me, I'm willing to listen and offer any advice I can because I care.
Nikki


♪♫"The mirror only shows
The shell of what's below
You can't go on suffering
The illusion of control
It's time for letting go
You can't go on suffering
And now you know
Now you know"♪♫
'Now You Know' - 2Cents
Things get better.
Always keep fighting.
❤Feel free to PM/VM, or add me if you ever need a friend, or someone to talk to. I'm online quite often.
Add me on FB <--- apparently this is my creeper face.
   
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Re: um. urgent help. please? - July 2nd 2011, 01:00 AM

Well, to be honest if the attempt fails you will be worse than before. So please think about it. If you fail your attempt and end up sick or hurt for the rest of your life, it would be a really bad choice.

If you die, that's even worse. You can pull through. I know you can do this, and I know that you are strong enough. PM me if you ever, ever need anything at all.

- Justin



"Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
Technologic
   
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Re: um. urgent help. please? - July 2nd 2011, 01:20 AM

DThank you both so much for replying. Im sitting here in a state and crying and trying to keep control and you have no idea how much your posts mean to me. The fact that people would chose to take their time out to post, and not because its your job or anything but because you actually want to, means so much to me and thank you. I've never properly appreciated that so thank you so much.

I know with all my heart that nothing will ever improve. they can for a small amount of time but it never lasts.
Anyone who ever helps always leaves or passes me on to the next pwrson because they know I can't be helped.
   
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Re: um. urgent help. please? - July 2nd 2011, 01:27 AM

Honey, it's a mindset such as that that will keep things from getting better. It's like when you were little being so decided you wouldn't like some kind of food your parents were trying to get you to try, that you didn't like it because you said before "I won't like it".

If you keep telling yourself things won't get better, that they can't get better, then yeah, they won't. By telling yourself that you turn every little thing that goes wrong into something that makes you feel even worse, even if deep down you feel it shouldn't have bothered you that much.

I know how hard it is to change your mindset, to believe things can get better. But you can't give up on the hope things can improve. You'll only feel that much worse.

And I'm telling you now: no matter what you've been through or what problems you have, I will not give up on you. You can be helped, I promise you. It'll take time, but there is always a way to make things better.


♪♫"The mirror only shows
The shell of what's below
You can't go on suffering
The illusion of control
It's time for letting go
You can't go on suffering
And now you know
Now you know"♪♫
'Now You Know' - 2Cents
Things get better.
Always keep fighting.
❤Feel free to PM/VM, or add me if you ever need a friend, or someone to talk to. I'm online quite often.
Add me on FB <--- apparently this is my creeper face.
   
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Re: um. urgent help. please? - July 2nd 2011, 06:08 AM

Hey,
Please don't do this!!! I think that you should talk to someone close to you about how you are feeling, maybe the people to whom you are planning to write the suicide notes?
What is the significance of monday? Can't you try waiting until Tuesday? even wednesday? I find it helpful to tell my self that I will definitely do it 'tomorrow', and never let 'tomorrow' come. You can be helped.
Everyone can be and as you said, everyone posting, simply because they want to, is testament to that. People do want to help you.
Nothing is permanent. It may seen like life wont improve, but it also wont stay bad forever. Please don't give up!!!
   
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Re: um. urgent help. please? - July 2nd 2011, 04:42 PM

I'm unsure of what is making you feel this way. Your family? School? Bullies? No matter what it is it will pass eventually. You can move away from your family, you will graduate (Or drop out) of school, bullies will move on eventually.

I know it's hard. Life is tough. You have every right to cry, but no right to kill yourself.

If you killed yourself you would be taking yourself away from the people who care about you (I know there are some) you would be removing yourself from TeenHelp, and what if in a year from now, you feel better and some other kid wants to comit suicide and you help him through the tough times. If you kill yourself that kid will too.

I know you have some talent, some ability that makes you special, and suicide just wastes it.

I said it once, but PM me if you ever need anything. I've had a rough time myself, so I know how much a few words can help.

- Justin



"Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
Technologic
   
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Re: um. urgent help. please? - July 2nd 2011, 08:56 PM

Thank you again for everyone's replies. I'm overwhelmed by how lovely and supportive you all are.

I understand my mindset isn't a healthy one. It's just so difficult to think any other way. My doctor is referring me for CBT sometime soon. But I honestly don't think it will help for several reasons.
I know that I am not going to get better. This isn't something I've learned to believe over a few months - I've felt like it since I was a child. I've always felt weird and like a freak and when I was younger I thought that I wouldn't do anything with my life, I just thought I'd end up killing myself.

I don't know who I can talk to. I won't be seeing my doctor again for a couple of weeks. I can't talk to any teachers as I know they'll tell my parents, and they're the last people who need to find out. Only one of my friends knows I feel suicidal - however, I can't tell him because he isn't in a fantastic place either and I don't want to trigger him or make him feel worse.

I don't know why I feel this way. I can't remember the last time I was happy without any negativity. I don't think I've ever felt peaceful. That's all I'd like to do, feel peaceful.
I am nothing special. I'm quite horrible and selfish really. I have no skills or talents. I lead a very lucky life and have no real reason to complain. My mum almost died from cancer a few years ago and she didn't and I'm so grateful she is alive.

But there is no point to anything. Life isn't something that I personally find enjoyable, and I don't understand why suicide is such a big deal. If people want others to be happy, and dying will make a person happy, then why is it such a issue?

My depression isn't going to go away. I can't remember ever not being depressed. How do you know if it's even a possibility?

I had to drop out of college in March and plan to go back next year, but there is no point because it won't work. It'll be even more difficult because my anxiety is worse and most of the time I'm too afraid to leave the house, let alone actually open my mouth and say anything. I don't know anyone there either, which doesn't help. And every day I'll be plagued by constant worrying and unhappiness (I have been for the last couple of years of college, the simple act of walking around the college terrifies me and puts me into tears) so that'll be even worse, which means things are going to go even more down hill.

I'm so so sorry for typing so much, and using load's of "I"'s. Everything I've typed sounds really selfish but I don't know how to phrase anything.

I keep crying. I can't stop crying.

I haven't written my notes out to people yet either. I can't find any nice paper to write them on.
   
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Re: um. urgent help. please? - July 8th 2011, 08:38 PM

I even scare you lot away, see. :P

Oh dear.
   
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Re: um. urgent help. please? - July 8th 2011, 08:55 PM

Hey Alex

Please dont do this. As you can see everyone here cares alot about you. I care about you.

As far as college, you can always take online classes or do private tutoring to get your degree.

You mentioned that your mom is a cancer survivor. That is such an amazing thing. She pulled through the impossible, and so can you. In her mind she wanted to get better for her family, for you. Now its your turn to get better for her. She needs you. Let her be your inspiration to pull through.

You can get better. You will get better. I believe in you.

PM me if you ever want to talk. Im here for you. <3


"When you've forgiven but you cant forget feels like your drowning but still got breath"

i love you.

YOU are beautiful no matter what and dont YOU forget it!!! <3

PM me if you need to talk!(:



   
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Re: um. urgent help. please? - July 9th 2011, 07:58 PM

if you dont ever remember happiness, how do you know you are depressed right now??? maybe you have always been happy you just put the name depression on it and saw why it was that...i dunno but whenever my depression accts up i think about super super deep weird questions and make my mind do what my heart and soul says...because everyone is going to be happy. you can pick the most life hating person in the world, and they do it because they are happy being unhappy, otherwise they would be able to see things differently thats what i do....send me a message and we can talk if you want im reallt really glad youre still here i mean going down to fireworks would be WAYYYY too sad. and just think, how would someone kiss you under those beautiful things someday if you wernt here???
   
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Re: um. urgent help. please? - July 9th 2011, 10:35 PM

Quote:
how would someone kiss you under those beautiful things someday if you wernt here???
I love that!! So true... <3


"When you've forgiven but you cant forget feels like your drowning but still got breath"

i love you.

YOU are beautiful no matter what and dont YOU forget it!!! <3

PM me if you need to talk!(:



   
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Re: um. urgent help. please? - July 9th 2011, 10:58 PM

Please stay strong. We all love you.


We need to be the change we wish to see in the world.

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Re: um. urgent help. please? - July 10th 2011, 03:49 AM

Don't die, it's really the worst possible solution. I mean really, you can end up poor, sad, or angry. You can end up pained and suffering, but at least you aren't dead. Death is nothing, it's a failure to survive. Failure doesn't have to be negative, but suicide is simply a failure of survival instincts. Humans are wired to survive and wired to live, they aren't meant to comit suicide.

I've mentioned it three times now, but you are never bothering me by PMing me. I will never turn away someone in need.

- Justin



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Trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it,
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Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
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Technologic
   
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Re: um. urgent help. please? - July 10th 2011, 09:09 AM

HEY.
there is always a way out other than suicide. Trust me. I've been in the place you are in right now. it sucks.
And I know that this might sound a bit heartless, but it's truth, so please just be open to what i am going to say, okay ?
If you REALLY wanted to kill yourself, you would have already done it. There, I said it. You would not be posting in here if you really really did want to do it. You would be dead. That's just the way it is.
Look deep inside yourself and realize that you DON'T really want to do this. Even if there is just a LITTLE place inside your heart that is terrified of dying.

I get the feeling that you don't really want to die. You just want the pain you are going through to end. The line seperating the two is sometimes a very fine one, but they are different things. If the pain you are going through were gone, would you still want to die? Probably not.

Try to write down, instead of a suicide note, a LIFE letter. I want you to write this letter to yourself (you can post it in here if you want, or just keep it to yourself) and in this letter to yourself, I want you to tell you all of the things that are in this world that are worth living for. Even the smallest things. If you died, wouldn't you miss the smell of fresh cut grass? Would you miss seeing a sunset or a sunrise? I think you would miss your family, and your family would miss you too. Isnt TH worth living for? I know you have friends on here (or else we wouldn't be writing to you in this time of need) and wouldn't it be a slap in the face to all the people trying to help you if you killed yourself? Are we not worth living for? Imagine how unworthy and poopy we would feel if you did that.

Suicide is a very selfish thing to do. When I was thirteen, TWO of my BEST friends killed themselves. Kalie and Maddie. I kid you not. I loved them so much and within a month of each other, they were gone. My world fell apart. I still feel sad about it, and I miss them dearly. They did something that tore me apart and crushed me to pieces.

If you did this to yourself, imagine how we would feel, after trying to help you. We want you here so badly, and it's not for us, it's for YOU. we love you, and we care about you. Think about how terrible it would be to have to make a memorial thread for you after your death. How many people would CRY because a fellow TH-er was no longer here. How many tears would be shed for you. Lots. Lots and lots.

You need to know that you are loved. You are loved by us and by your family and by whoever else is in your life. You are loved by God, too, even if you don't believe in Him. You are loved because you are special and you are a person in this world. You were put here for a reason, and why throw your life away now. You can live until you are old and wrinkled, or you can just die now. But if you live longer, you can experience more. Like someone before me said, you will move out of your house, graduate, get new friends, all that stuff. Don't you want to get married and have kids?! There is so much more to life than what is our reality NOW, and you CAN make it. I know you can.

I hope that this is enough for you to reconsider your plans. There are so many suicide crisis numbers that you can call, as well. They are all going to pretty much tell you the same thing I'm telling you now. Life gets better, and you have reasons to live. You just need to keep swimming
   
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Re: um. urgent help. please? - July 10th 2011, 09:47 AM

I agree with everything else everyone has said. But I want to add one thing, to try and discourage you from killing yourself.

Dying doesn't make you happy. It makes you dead. And it makes everyone who has been left behind, who loved you and admired you, incredibly upset. You may think nobody would care, but what about your parents? Your friends? Even your teachers? US!

Please, please, please don't do this. You're so much better than that. You're amazing and beautiful and young. You have your whole life ahead. Try to change yourself, have a happier outlook.

But above all, don't kill yourself. It's harsh of me to say this, but suicide is an INCREDIBLY selfish thing to do. Like you said, you've used so many "I"s. And that's okay, because your main priority SHOULD be yourself. But you should consider how others will be affected by your death too.

Stay strong, and we're all here, we all love you <3
   
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