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Neon Offline
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Just when I thought I was out. - July 21st 2011, 02:50 AM

Ug. I feel so pathetic posting in here this much. Thing have been going so good for me lately, life gives me so many chances. I met a girl, Iím in school. I blew both of those opportunities as quickly as I can. Nothing fucking matters. When ever ANYONE gives me a shot, I mess it up because of my garbage social skills. My social anxiety is terrible. I get fired from a job at McDonalds after a week because of how bad I deal with people; Fucking McDonalds! If I canít hold a job there, what the hell am I even good for? I feel like a worthless human being. What am I supposed to do with my life then? People tell me to write down the positive qualities about myself. Iím not even exaggerating, I canít find any? I absolutely loathe myself. It seems ever since puberty my life has been going straight down the drain.

I try to appear confident, hoping that I will eventually turn that way if I keep up this act. But these depression episodes seem to come back no matter what. I feel like I canít get anywhere mentally, because whenever I start to, I eventually Ďresetí and start back down at the bottom. I am dreading my birthday. Iíll officially be an adult in Canada, and I donít want to be one. I donít want to be 19. I feel old. I promised myself things were going to be better by now or I would try killing myself again. And they havenít been better. I have been dreading this day for months. The want to do it before this day comes is driving me insane.
   
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Re: Just when I thought I was out. - July 21st 2011, 12:45 PM

dont hurt yourself.

remember thigns can always get better. i get it that you have social anxiety, but thats nothing which cant be remedied, cause trust me, human beings are social creatures by nature and besides that, remember your birthday is something to be happy about. i understand you've went through a lot... and now its time to take it easy, and enjoy whatever comes. trust me, you deserve a lot of happiness.

stay strong . we all love you so much.. hang in there ! i promise good things are coming very soon.


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

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Re: Just when I thought I was out. - July 21st 2011, 02:18 PM

You my friend are not worthless. I totally understand the social anxiety, maybe a job with animals?? That is what I have to do. You can beat this! You are strong and as previously said you should be happy about your birthday. I am happy. It's another stepping stone for you. A good thing. You are going to have to look for the positives, they are everywhere, just hiding. You will find them I know you can. And I know what it's like to not like yourself and it's easier said than done to do so, but already you can write that you are strong and caring and you won't give up, right??
Please feel free to pm or vm me anytime. I am on often and will always respond.
   
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Re: Just when I thought I was out. - July 21st 2011, 10:39 PM

Everything in life just exhausts me, mentally and physically. It would take years for me to build myself up to a 'normal' person. *sigh*. I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore...I feel so fucking needy and pathetic constantly.

Last edited by Neon; July 21st 2011 at 10:50 PM.
   
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Re: Just when I thought I was out. - July 22nd 2011, 05:52 PM

dont worry too much about that.. cause with new experiences come maturity and awesome things. things will improve. hang in there! i promise you ! things shall get better!


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

Official member of the completely Unofficial free hugs Club !

I'm firing mah Hugs!
   
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