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Just MeMyself&I
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Unhappy The End - July 22nd 2011, 07:37 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Okay so my sister made a huge mess and put a butt-load of books in the living room. So I came in there,and let me add I'm OCD about messes,so I tell her to clean it up. And while shes not cleaning this up,shes making a bigger mess with some blocks. And so when I tell her to clean it up,my mom tells me to shut up and not tell her what to do. And my mom is just on the computer shopping for herself,while I need some weather appropriate clothes for school and my sister still need supplies. So I just walked away. I walked away and typed this. I'm tired of my mom being a bitch and being selfish.

Now I've always wanted to be a mommy. To have a perfect family,something I never had. And to me,I would do anything for them. Their needs above mine.
I don't know if its just me or what..but shouldn't all moms feel this way? And while I walked away,I thought of this site and SH (Self Harm-ing). And this is the first thing like this to happen since May,and I haven't SH-ed since March.

~Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
~Eventually the time will come when the pain it takes to stay will become greater than the pain it takes to go.
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Re: The End - July 22nd 2011, 08:30 AM

Im really sorry, but also, i think maybe your mom was a bit stressed. And i understand the feeling of having a sister that just wont listen to you.

i know what you mean about wishing for a perfect family too, but it seems like in this world that doesnt happen as often as it looks. my family looks "perfect" but i sat there hearing my dad talk about suicide and my mom not care. We arent perfect, nor is any other family.

I also think that you have done a REALLY good job in quitting, and i really hope that you are able to overcome this low time to reach a happier and brighter one

Just rise above this
Kill them with your kindness
Ignorance is blindness
They're the ones that stand to lose

'Cause they don't even know you
All they see is SCARS
They don't see the ANGEL
Living in your heart
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Re: The End - July 22nd 2011, 01:15 PM

As Sora said, you did a good job with not SH-ing in such a long time.

I definitely understand how frustrating it can be when you need something, yet someone else is getting what they want. My grandma favored my sister and she would get new clothes because she wanted them, when I need socks I needed. Then my grandma would tell me she didn't have the money. :x

Have you asked your mom for help with your OCD? Or explained it to your sister? If not, I suggest doing so. If they understand how anxious it makes you feel, and not that it's just a pet peeve, then they should be willing to help.

If you have already, don't be afraid to remind them. When you ask your sister to clean something up, just remind her why you are asking. Ask nicely and remind her nicely.

And if nothing else works...then you have to take the best you can, and if that means you have to walk out of the room and leave the books there until they're cleaned up, or until you have to clean them up next time, do it. Make the best of it, as I'm sure you are trying to do.

Feel free to PM me anytime for questions, advice, or just someone to chat to.

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cutting, depression, end, mom

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