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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Red face Can't take no more. - July 26th 2011, 11:04 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm trying to deal with it...I really am. But every second hurts. I know it would hurt, anger and disappoint my family if I did something stupid. I just don't want to live anymore. I'm getting closer and closer to the edge. My urges to actually commit suicide is getting stronger by the day. I feel like I have nothing to live for anymore. I just want to die. I can't take it anymore. I should be proud of myself. On Friday, I have a day off from work so I can take my driving test to get my Provisional Licence and I have two job interviews as well. You think I'm happy? Well, I'm not. I really don't care about anything anymore. I feel like I'm going insane from the pain and my OCD is getting worse again. I don't want to go through what I went through in 2009 because that was bad enough. I know I need help but I don't know what to do anymore. I'm like this empty shell that is showing a fake mask to let other people that I'm OK. I've become so good at pretending that I don't even notice I'm doing it. I want someone elses life. It hurts way to much and all I want is to not feel this anymore. I would do anything not to have to go through this even if it means suicide.


   
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Re: Can't take no more. - July 26th 2011, 11:42 AM

Hey, this is really long but I would really like you to read this:

"Nothing is bad enough to be worth taking your own life.
If you are at the point where you really feel it's better to die than to go on living, then you have hit bottom, and once you hit bottom, there's really no place else to go but up. So what have you got to lose by staying for the ride back up? You have far, far more to gain by going up, and absolutely nothing to lose by taking that trip back up, to the place where your life can be happy and fulfilling.

If your life is at a place where suicide seems better than going on, think about some very important things. Life can turn from horrible to wonderful in a very short period of time. Your life, whether you know it today or not, has a positive impact on someone. It might be your family, your friends, your co-workers, your neighbors... there is someone that knows you in a way that you can't see.

Suicide is permanent... there's no turning back. The deep feelings you have today will be different tomorrow; regardless of how down you feel, you'll have something tomorrow that can, if you let it, make you feel better. Our problems are often so great, so real and feel so devastating that leaving life behind seems like the only answer. But it's not an answer. It leaves many, many questions for anyone we leave.

Please sleep. Please cry hard, if you must, and talk to someone who loves you. But please, also, put the idea of making a permanent end to what could be temporary problems out of your head. Every life has purpose. Every single life. Please try to find yours before thinking about killing yourself.
No matter how bad it is right now, it can only get better- when you are down try doing something nice for someone else. It sounds a little lame but it works, scientifically it's called a helper's high. It gets your mind off depressing things and helps you add value to society and confidence for yourself."


Not my words but I find them very helpful, and I hope you do too.
   
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