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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Terry Offline
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Tired. - August 1st 2011, 06:42 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I don't expect anyone to help, everyone leaves empty messages as if they care about me and I don't expect much more from anyone since I honestly wouldn't expect much from myself either. I just need to write it down somewhere. My life is fucked beyond repair, I don't blame anyone but myself. I just want to fucking die, I am torn between cutting my arm to shreds or downing all the medication I can find. My heart is so fucking crippled by all of the fucking bullshit that's happened these last few years and I just want to stop feeling entirely, fuck feeling good if it means I won't feel this fucking shitty for a second longer. I can't handle life how it is, people seem perfectly fine with everything that makes me fucking miserable I just want it to end now, I've been raised to think the world was entirely different than it is, but it's fucking disgusting and I don't want to be part of it anymore. And why the fuck do I have to care about people who don't give two shits about me or how I feel, they wouldn't even fucking care if I offed myself, the only fucking reason anyone even talks to me is because I tag along like a little fucking mindless little sheep, just fuck everything, why am I here just to feel this shitty. I hate myself so fucking much. I depend so much on other people, and their lives are so much worse for it.

Sorry for profanity and being messy, just wrote it as it came. I don't expect anyone having anything to say that will help at all cus people have told me they'd be there for me before, and fuck if I know where they are now. Feel free to ignore this thread. Needed to vent.


Self pity will not rescue you.
Sometimes we have to save our own lives,
not because no one else cares, but because no one else can.

Life for you has been less than kind
So take a number, stand in line
We've all been sorry, we've all been hurt
But how we survive is what makes us who we are.

Dreamed up the maps, give me the charcoal and the paper
We invent paths they cannot see, and they're too scared to walk


Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
   
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Re: Tired. - August 1st 2011, 07:24 AM

Terry,

Please don't apologize for your language. I used to feel the exact same way. Your more than welcome to PM me if you need someone to talk to. Seriously.....Please don't think of a way out as an option. I agree though..the world can be a really shitty place. People are cruel and heartless. There are people who care about you. I used to be you. I wanted to die at one point. I overcame it. You can too. I know you probably feel a huge black cloud hovering over you and you cant see any light in anything. I'm here. I promise I'll help you with every fiber in my being. Trust me....someone cares. I do. I'm not just saying that either. You depend on the people in your life so much because you need someone right now. Life is never fucked beyond repair.


Love is the movement <3
   
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Smile Re: Tired. - August 4th 2011, 03:02 AM

Hi terry, don't think for one sec that no one cares about you. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me ill be here to listen to you. I agree with you one hundred percent that this world is shity and people are cruel but not everyone is. You just have to want to have someone there for you. Yea life might seem fucked up right now but it will get better. life is like a tornado when ur outside the eye its shity but once it moves to the center its great. Yea you'll have to wait for a bit but it does get better.
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