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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Mollie. Offline
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I'm so done. - August 10th 2011, 09:51 AM

I don't even know how to feel anymore, honestly.
Everytime I see my doctor I tell her I havent been doing well, all she does is try and change my schedule. IT DOESNT WORK. Its like she doesn't even care anymore, like shes given up on helping me.

My parents don't care either, its all about my sister nowadays. I know she needs the help, but why cant they take time to see if im okay, its not like they are with her everyday, its rarely. Why can't they just see that im struggling My chest aches so much, i just want them to care.

For a long time I thought about killing myself, I almost attempted it once. The thoughts are coming back, really bad lately. I just dont know what to do.. I haven't cut in about 3 weeks, i have the worst urges, and i really just want to kill myself but i dont want to leave my family.. but i really dont want to be here


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The one who
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm so done. - August 10th 2011, 12:14 PM

Molly

before you do anything that hurts yourself, please remember that how you are feeling is temporary. it'll only take a few changes to make your days really nice, and that would certainly change the way you are feeling about everything now please remember, you are an aweesome person. dont kill yourself..... that will deprive you of the happiness that is sure to come !

why dont you just relax and talk to someone you know about how you're feeling? ranting it out helps a lot. Remember, too that we're here to support you. you deserve the best and dont ever think that you dont deserve the best.

please stay strong. the sadness is only going to last for a short time. i assure you this.. things will get better


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Re: I'm so done. - August 10th 2011, 06:05 PM

Hey there.

I am really sorry that things are rough for you right now. It sounds like you're really struggling to deal with things at the moment.

It's great that you see your doctor and I think it is positive that you reached out for that support. However, as it doesn't seem to be helping you right now I think that needs to change. Whether that's you asking your doctor to change the way she is working with you or whether that's you seeing a different doctor who may well have different techniques and ways to work with you in a way which you will in fact benefit from. I would also suggest perhaps asking your doctor to refer you to a mental health team for counselling because this could be someone you really can talk to about whats going on, your thought, your urges and how you are feeling and they will work with you in a way to help you manage those things. I feel that could be beneficial for you. Until then we're always here for you to support you as much as we can.

I know things are hard for you right now but they won't always be like this. You can have a future, it's just going to be that little bit harder for you to get there because of the way you feel. Set yourself goals and aim high because you can reach them if you put your mind to it. You can get through this. I know it's really difficult to think that but you have to change your mindset. You need to try and think more positive. You can do anything if you set your mind to it. You're worth so much more and you deserve to have a life.

I hope this helps a little.
Jessie.


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.Jess. Offline
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Re: I'm so done. - August 10th 2011, 06:59 PM

Hey Molly

I am so sorry to hear how much you are struggling at the moment, things sound really difficult for you, but you’re defiantly doing the right things to help yourself. You’re reaching out to us here, you’re seeing your doctor too, these are great steps. Sometimes though, it can feel like that isn’t enough and your feelings overwhelm you, and I totally understand that. From reading your post though it sounds like your unhappiness is turning into physical symptoms too, this really isn’t okay and hopefully this raises alarm bells for you too.

You feel like your Doctor isn’t listening to you, that must be very frustrating, perhaps she doesn’t understand the extent of your unhappiness? How about keeping a diary and showing her next time you see her so she can see the whole picture and properly understand what’s going on for you at the moment? Hopefully this can help her to make more helpful decisions for you when it comes to your treatment. Do you have any ideas of what kind of treatment could help you? If you do, it could be an idea to share these thoughts with her to enable you to access the services you need.

You’re being so strong at the moment overcoming your urges to self harm, it must be extremely difficult for you, stick with it though, falling back into those habits would be dangerous for you right now. Are there any particular reasons why you feel your family don’t care? Families are there for each other through thick and thin, and if you are struggling they’d want to know about it so they can help. Perhaps you’ve learnt how to hide your feelings so well from your family they aren’t noticeable to them? You need support around you at the moment, so the more people you can trust to bring into your support network the better

Honestly Molly, if you ever need to talk to anyone about your feelings, or anything else, please just get in touch, don’t keep it to yourself. Please take care.
   
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