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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Lovehatelife23 Offline
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Name: Leslie
Age: 28
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Location: somewhere im not...anymore

Posts: 349
Join Date: October 27th 2010

Unhappy Why cant i Change? - August 10th 2011, 05:32 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My life has been tough for me over the pass couple of months.

1.) We lost our house due to Forcloser
2.) When everyone talks bout their boyfriends n i look at myself n i dont have one
3.) People are very Mean towards me
4.) Going to places n havin boys n girls look at you bc of how i look n what i dress like
5.) going into a girls bathroom n having people n little girls look at me like im a boy when im not
6.) Going Shopping for stuff n having employers think that i might be stealin when i buy my stuff
7.) going shopping in my Type of things that make me comfortable but others take it wrong n LAUGH!
8.) havin my little brother pick at me when i dont do it too him
9.) Cant find my True Partner
10.) Cant feel Happy that my mom doesnt want me around her
11.) cant accomplish anything i want to do in life bc it always gets screwed up somehow
12.) Cant get a Job bc of the economy
13.) Cant get my License bc of my dad
14.) i cant get stuff out of my head that ive done wrong in the past n makes me regret it
15.) I always thought that If i would of died that one Day when i Overdosed on Tynole i think God would of forgave me n sent me to heaven.

I have problems in my Life that needs to be straightened out. I tried going to therapist but they dont help. Tried going to mentel places n staying for alittle while but doesnt seem to help. I just feel my Life is getting Shorter n Shorter n it will end either in Good or in Tragedy where everyone in my family will be upset. I just dont see the point anymore in tring to fix things when it just get worse.


R.I.P
CJ Collins 1993-2008
He was a Awesome Kid
I Love you n Miss you


You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

Leslie
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.Jess. Offline
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Re: Why cant i Change? - August 11th 2011, 02:03 PM

Hey Leslie

You have a lot of stuff on your mind at the moment don't you? A lot of the problems you stated aren't your problems, they are issues other people have about who you are. Who cares what other people think? It must be awful for you to feel the way you do when you leave the house, but you know what? I feel sorry for these people who stare and laugh, they have feel like they have to make you feel bad to make themselves feel better. I admire you for being able to be yourself, you may not feel confident, but to be you is fantastic. It may take a while to gain this kind of attitude but it's a good way to view things

I'm not in a relationship either, Leslie, but it doesn't get me down because I know I'll find the right person when the time is right. I'm very picky and won't settle for someone for the sake of it. You're happiness is worth more then that, don't pressure yourself, take your time and you might be suprised

The job economy sucks at the moment, doesn't it?!?! Finding jobs is so difficult, I can't find one either! You need to be proactive though, find things for yourself to do to prove to prospective employers your enthusiastic! Keep applying for jobs, volunteer work, anything, don't let yourself sit at home getting down about it. There are so many people are in a similar position to you, you need to try and make yourself stand out from the crowd make yourself employable. Read interview tips, change your CV, keep at it and you'll get there eventually!

You said seeing a therapist didn't help you, perhaps you didn't find the right one? You need to have a connection with a therapist to make it work. It's worth another shot if it could help!

Look after yourself, I'm here if you ever need to talk to anyone, take care.
   
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Lovehatelife23 Offline
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Re: Why cant i Change? - August 11th 2011, 09:30 PM

well I am getting a better Bike to go more places even though it is very very Hot but if i really want to get out of this house im going to do it. I try very hard to get myself back into the game by try going to college n getting a career but it didnt seem to work bc i have to get my GED. wich i dont mind getting its just the point it will take me a while to get it bc of how my Skills are. I always want to be happy n be with someone one day to enjoy life with n get back at my friends for what they did to me. It always tore me down bc of how they would brag bout it. I kno it will take sometime to find someone bc i am very picky too. Its just what i look like n the guys i really adore they dont look at me like maybe i should give her a chance No they Laugh n Talk bout me. I just want to feel happy. The Job economy is really tough. I want to Volunteer n i kno it would help alot of people but right now everyone is looking for money to pay bills n go to doctors when needed n other things too. Life is tearing me apart. My dad says i dont need one anymore bc they dont seem to help. ya i got alot on my mind. its been like this sence the beginning of the year. I just feel like i am falling apart. i just dont kno anymore.


R.I.P
CJ Collins 1993-2008
He was a Awesome Kid
I Love you n Miss you


You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

Leslie
  Send a message via Skype™ to Lovehatelife23 
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