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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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ElijahKennedy Offline
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I Don't Know What I Should Do. - August 13th 2011, 09:47 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My grandma just went to the hospital for cancer. This is the third instance of her having cancer.
I've had cancer once.
My friend's boyfriend just got diagnosed for diabetes. My aunt also has it, and I have a heightened risk for it.
I have very strong anxiety, and I'm on pills for it. My anxiety is so strong that I sometimes can't move by myself, and sometimes it makes me feel suicidal.

This is one of those times.

I want to die. I want to just take a bottle of pills and drift away. I don't want to die from cancer of diabetes. I don't want people at my funeral saying "It was bound to happen, he was sick."

I have two types of pills. One that I take daily, and one that I take in emergencies. I've already taken one emergency pill, and right after I finish writing this, I'm going to take another one. (Don't worry, the doctor says I can take 2 at a time, and from my history of drug use I know that I can take 3.)

It's almost two in the morning. I'm not tired in the slightest, even though the pills are supposed to knock me out. I'm to nervous to be tired. Nervous about my grandmother, worried about my aunt, worried about my friend, worried about myself.

I want to die. I want to go away. I need something now, even if it's just for now.


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Re: I Don't Know What I Should Do. - August 13th 2011, 09:55 AM

dont die. remember that you can be happy, and that cancer can be cured. Hold on to hope

remember your happiness is something that is important, and that no matter what happens, bad events can be fully resolved and have a happy resolution.

hold on to hope, and remember that if you die, a lot of people around you will miss you a lot..... and you will miss out on whatever happiness you get in the future.

stay strong!


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Re: I Don't Know What I Should Do. - August 13th 2011, 03:16 PM

Hey there,

I'm so sorry to hear that bad news. Cancer isn't a nice thing to hear someone you love has, and it can be a hard thing to cope with. Diabetes is something you can live with, and while it can be scary to hear of and cope with, it's possible, and with the right care it should be okay. I know that this bad news will make life harder to cope with, but death isn't worth it. There is still so much to live for, and I mean it. Yes, the anxiety is hard to cope with sometimes, and it can make you feel really bad, but again, it's not impossible to live with. If you have the right kind of support, you can do this and you can make it through this. It's hard, but it's going to be okay.

Chin up,
Hollie.


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Re: I Don't Know What I Should Do. - August 13th 2011, 04:05 PM

Yeah; keep hope. Your grandmother has made it before, hm? And diabetes, as Hollie said, you can live with. Just don't get yourself too down about this, alright? You're stronger than this!!


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Re: I Don't Know What I Should Do. - August 13th 2011, 09:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElijahKennedy View Post
My grandma just went to the hospital for cancer. This is the third instance of her having cancer.
I've had cancer once.
My friend's boyfriend just got diagnosed for diabetes. My aunt also has it, and I have a heightened risk for it.
I have very strong anxiety, and I'm on pills for it. My anxiety is so strong that I sometimes can't move by myself, and sometimes it makes me feel suicidal.

This is one of those times.

I want to die. I want to just take a bottle of pills and drift away. I don't want to die from cancer of diabetes. I don't want people at my funeral saying "It was bound to happen, he was sick."

I have two types of pills. One that I take daily, and one that I take in emergencies. I've already taken one emergency pill, and right after I finish writing this, I'm going to take another one. (Don't worry, the doctor says I can take 2 at a time, and from my history of drug use I know that I can take 3.)

It's almost two in the morning. I'm not tired in the slightest, even though the pills are supposed to knock me out. I'm to nervous to be tired. Nervous about my grandmother, worried about my aunt, worried about my friend, worried about myself.

I want to die. I want to go away. I need something now, even if it's just for now.
i know a lot of people who have cancer too. right now 3 of my friends have cancer and my aunt has it too, its something that nobody should ever have to experience. I think tho that what we go through makes us stronger and helps us to grow in life and become a better person. :/ If your drugs aren't really doing anything for you you should talk to your doctor about it because theres got to be something stronger that you can take to help. you have every right to be nervous about your close loved ones and your friends, it can be very scary watching someone you know deal with something like that. You seem to have a lot to live for. you just gotta pick something that you like, hold on to it and don't let go. pm me anytime if you want to talk. id love to talk to you <3


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