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Disclosure. Offline
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Unhappy Don't know what to do. - August 15th 2011, 12:14 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Recently, I've been having feelings of paranoia. I think that people are constantly talking about me, especially at work. I'm lacking concentration and my memory is worse then usual. I was diagnosed with depression in 2009 and during 2010, I was OK; I could handle my OCD and depression. But now it's worse then ever. This week I finish my traineeship so I'll have no job. All I want is to be happy. I just want to escape from this life and not have to return or look back at it. I want to move to London, go to University and work there. But I know it's not that simple. I want things to be OK. I wish I had never been born. I wish I could die. I want to be normal. But I'm not. I have OCD and depression and no-one I know personally understands. They all think I'm better, that I'm OK. I told my parents that I'm going to go back to councilling and I rang up where I used to go. I asked to see my old councillor but he's leaving and they haven't rung back yet. Maybe I'm not supposed to get help. Maybe I'm just supposed to feel like this. I have urges to talk to someone but then I think that maybe it's better if I keep it to myself because then, I can deal with it on my own. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to die.

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Liz94 Offline
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Re: Don't know what to do. - August 15th 2011, 02:53 PM

I am sorry to hear that you have been feeling like this.

I would strongly reccomend that you do go and get some more counselling, if they don't get in touch soon ring them again and again till you get an appointment. If you have a new counseller then maybe see it as a fresh start in your recovery if that makes any sense.

Life is worth living and things will get better.

hope things improve for you soon.


"Casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2

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Re: Don't know what to do. - August 15th 2011, 07:15 PM

I agree with the wanting to die part, i feel the same way as you do i promise. if you ever need to talk to someone you can talk to me i just joined this website today so im not too sure on how to use it yet haha but you have a reason to life, god wouldn't have given you this life if you couldn't handle it. if you want help but at the same time you wanna deal with it alone, i know exactly where you're coming from! maybe try calling a hotline number and talking to them over the phone because personally i think it's easier to talk to people over the phone about how i feel instead of in person, if you're interested i can give you 1 or 2 hotline numbers or you can even just type it into google, good luck and i hope things start to get better for you soon! and remember, things always get worse before they get better <3
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