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Lovehatelife23 Offline
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Name: Leslie
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: somewhere im not...anymore

Posts: 349
Join Date: October 27th 2010

Exclamation Im losing it! - August 16th 2011, 04:52 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

what happened to me? I cant do anything right. Im breakin into pieces...i cant barely go to sleep bc everynite i have a bad dream even though i have a very Good day. Today was my Very Very Bad Day. Nothing was going right for me. Everyone was blamming me for stuff. I was making everyone mad at me. My bike wouldnt work right. I almost got a heat stroke bc of how HOT it was outside. i came home n got into agruments on FB with friends n then tonite ended up getting into a real agrument with my dad n my mom wont talk to me or do anything for me again. I try to do things to make myself better in the world like meet new people, get a job, go to college, get my license, get a vehicle, n other things. but some of them things didnt or isnt working out for me right now its either bc of the Ecomony, or gas prices, or jobs aint hiring. soo i try to look in every possible way to make me a better person. I also want to meet a Guy to make me feel comfortable bout myself n have someone to talk to. But its tough right now. Im breakin n its killing me. I seem to make everything worse when i touch or say something. see i was adopted at age 4 but was in foster homes before that soo i didnt have a very good life. Ive been a troubled kid for my parents to take care of. ive been in trouble in school alot of times for being hardheaded, went to jail but they erased it from my thing soo now im starting a clean slate. ive been in mental hospitals sence i was 5 through this year right before i turned 20 but it was not every year i was in one. it was 2007 for 3 to 4 months n same year for one in October for a week, then this year right before i turned 20 i was in one twice for trying to hang myself but didnt go threw with it n second almost lost my life due to Overdose over 30 of Tynole pills. soo ive been threw some stuff. Im very stressed out. Cant get my thoughts together. its like Mombo Jombo all over the place n cant put it back into order. I just feel like im dying but slowing but cant tell. its like the more i get stressed n my blood pressure goes up more n more im bout to die any min just cant tell when my last min will be. Im losing it....What do i do?

CJ Collins 1993-2008
He was a Awesome Kid
I Love you n Miss you

You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

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