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Celyn Offline
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Name: Holly
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Moving on - August 24th 2011, 02:14 PM

I have a friend, Jack, who has depression, and has had it for the last couple of years. Last week was our exam results. I found out that I have got into my university and so has Jack (though different universities). I was pleased for him. I thought that it was going to be a new beginning for him, meeting new people and doing new things.

Then Jack tells me his mother wanted him to go to college and he was annoyed because he thought his mum didn't care about his grades and how hard he has worked even with depression. I thought he meant that his mum told him to go to college rather than university, so I asked him if she had given him any reasons as to why. He said that she just thought it would be better for him to get out of the house (as in not stay in all the time). He then said that "they would all be sorry when they found out I was dead". So I tried to calm him down and talk to him about university. Finally, he tells me that he deferred his entry so he can't go until next year. That changed everything. I didn't tell him but obviously, if he can't go to uni until next year...what is he going to do this year? After all, his original plan was to go to college for a year and then university, but he just got so wound up about his mother, I can't understand it.

Also, I met up with him a few days ago, and I could tell he hasn't looked after himself. So now I'm just worried. I can spend all day on the internet talking to him now, but come September and I go to uni, what will he be doing? I won't be able to talk to him as much as I do now. I'm just worried because if he doesn't go to college or do something with his life, he will spend the year on the computer day in, day out, which isn't good for anyone. He has already bought paracetamol to overdose on, but he told his dad, and he had to go to a mental hospital for a night. His counselling has finished and he is still on medication. I want him to get better because he doesn't deserve to be depressed at all. Anything I can do to help him?
   
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ColletteKane Offline
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Re: Moving on - August 24th 2011, 09:34 PM

You are doing all you can to help him, your there for him when he needs you. But for him to get better he has to realise this and want to on his own. He won't get better until he wants to. You can't put your life on hold for him and as harsh as that may sound, he needs to learn he can do it on his own. I'm sure there will be other people around that can keep their eyes on him. Maybe you should talk to his parents and see what they think. Talk to him, i'm sure all he wants is for you to be happy.
   
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