I found the perfect place

[Ella.x]

Thanks guys, I had the appointment. My regular doctor was off sick so it was a locum and to put it bluntly, she clearly knew nothing about mental illness. She basically told me that I seem to be getting on fine as I have a job and don't live with my parents and that I should "just keep going" because my life is a lot better than some peoples. Needless to say, I did not feel comfortable telling her about the overdose. I feel fine (physically) now anyway. I guess I'll just wait till I see my social worker on monday. I'm just so fed up of all these ridiculous mood swings. And the cuts on my leg keep reopening and it's really annoying me.

[Anonymous.]

Ella, Trust me when I say I know how you feel. You're lucky you have resources and plenty of them. I'm glad you have an appointment. I remember a time I was this suicidal. I had nothing and no one to go to. I posted here, but I had nothing else to go to like you do now. I nearly did it myself, but I didn't. Because I got to thinking about my future and my goals in life. You know what they were? I knew I wanted to study Psychology. I wanted to be someone that helps people like you. Now, I have an associate's in Psychology. I'm taking a break from college right now because of money issues, but I plan to go back. And when I do, I plan on helping people with disabilities.

Let that be an inspiration. When you feel this way, think about your goal and focus on nothing else but your goal. Let that get you out of your slump. This is only temporary. What do you dream of doing in your life? Is it a certain career? Do you want to travel the world? Whatever it is, focus on that goal when you feel this way.

I hope this helps. If you ever need anything, feel free to PM me.

[Ella.x]

The thing is, I have everything I need. I have a job in the care sector, which is what I wanted, I have my own car, a flat, I've travelled. The only thing I'd like to do is travel a bit more, but that's not a huge deal to me. I have everything good, but even though I've worked for it all, it's not satisfying, I'm still not happy and I don't know why. I feel like I've missed out on something fundamental that everyone else seems to have, but I can't figure out what it is. I honestly don't think I'm capable of being a normal, stable, happy person. I feel defective.

[Anonymous.]

I see. Well, do you think it's because you feel lonely? Why don't you try hanging out with a friend or at least make a friend. Call up one of your co-workers and either invite him/her over or you two can go out for coffee or something. Go places where you'll most likely meet people. Be a little... spontaneous. When you go out, to maybe like the library or something. Go up to like a stranger who is reading and maybe ask about the book or magazine they're reading. I think the library/bookstore is perfect for meeting new people because you have an instant conversation starter. That's how I made a few friends. Granted, I didn't keep in touch, but I was 16 and I don't get out much. This is just an example.