Triggering (Suicide): I want to, but yet I don't want to, HELP D:

[Iridescence]

Lately I've been feeling like there's nothing to live for, that everything is pissing me off and that I would be better off dead or when I'm dead I won't have to deal with stress.
But on the other-hand, I don't want to because I don't want the ones who love me being so god damn depressed because I'm gone forever.
I just don't know what to do anymore because even the mere thought of me killing myself makes me cry every time I almost broke down at school today but I held myself together.
Can anyone help me, please?

[alibear101]

Hey Fallon! It seems like you have so much going on right now! Let me just first point out how very strong you are for not giving up at a time like this! You should be so very proud of yourself. That is so amazing! you have gotten this far you can definitely go so much farther. I'll be there every step of the way to help you! Think about all your friends and family that would miss you if you died! Think about everyone on TH! You are so young and you deserve to live a full and happy life! PM me anytime and i'll always be there to listen

[Iridescence]

Thank you Alyssa! There has been a lot of crap going on and I'm just trying to go on but it's just sooo hard and I don't want to die but I'm just like HUIBNGYOIEYT7BNHJG.
but thank you for the support, it means the universe to me

[JellyBean4986]

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad hun. The only thing we can really count on in life is change. Things will never stay the same, things will get better, and you won't always feel this way. I know how hard it is, but I also can see how strong you are.

Have you ever thought of talking to a school counselor? I know it can be scary at first, but it can really help.
I hope you feel better, and if you need someone to talk to I'm here too.

[Palmolive]

Hi there.

I am really sorry that you're having to go through this and feel the way you do but I want you to know that you don't deserve it in the slightest and it won't always be this way for ever.

It's really great that you have found a reason to live (for not wanting to upset the ones you love around you) because at times we all need something just to keep us going. How ever I do honestly believe that we can't always live the sake sake of others because we need happiness and joy in our own lives. try thinking of some reasons to live such as having a family, writing a book, getting a career, traveling the world etc. Here is even a list of reasons to live. The world is at your feet and you can do what ever you want to take opportunities and live for them.

Don't ever be afraid of reaching out for help. You can always go to a friend, family member, teacher, nurse, counselor or a doctor. These people all care about you and they can help but they can only do so if they know what is going on for you right now. They can help you so let them in a little.

I know it's real hard for you right now but things won't always be this way. They can get better and there is a life worth living for you. Never give up, you CAN beat this!

Jessie

[BrokenMell]

hey love . sometimes everything seems to be falling apart . and you feel like noone is going to be there for you . but let me prove you wrong . theirs always SOMEONE there no matter the day or time . may it be a friend , relative , adult or maybe just people like us who struggle with the everyday life . we could stick together and make a difference for ourselves . ive always wanted to kill myself but i think the fear of not being missed is what always scares me rather then thinking of others hurting . but let me tell you its not worth it . if things get difficult we could talk (: i offer you my friendship dear & keep holding on bkuz you are beautiful inside and out . & the problems are nothing . i KNOW you could conquer them <3

[Iridescence]

Leeann, I'm currently seeing a counselor , but I absolutely hate the counselor at my school, she is such a bitch ugh and I've been too afraid to tell my counselor that I've had suicidal thoughts a few times because I don't want to be put in a mental institution or being taken away, that would make everything a hell of a lot worse for me mentally. But I'm starting to feel a little bit better, just trying to calm down and relax before I have to back to school Tuesday because I don't want to cause a huge scene.

Jessie, thank you for the encouragement and I did read the sticky and that made me feel better as well I don't want to miss out on all of those things life as to offer for me in the future, I'm still 12 and I have a whole lot of things to look forward to. Thanks a million

BrokenMell, thank you as well
everyone's encouragement and positive feedback is making me feel better.
I love you guys so much