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Depression and Suicide If you feel depressed or suicidal then you can talk with our users about your feelings here.

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why wake up ? (not depressed) - September 4th 2011, 02:54 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Okay well I lied a bit, never been diagnosed, but with a...what is it now...ehm, four or five year long history of bad feelings and a few suicide attempts, I'm sure I qualify somewhere. This time I don't believe it to be from so.

I have come to the realization this world isn't exactly "real". Nothing is. I can't stand this fake-ness anymore. why wake up and live another day of hell. Being forced to school to work on things I don't care about, having to work, and all for what? So I can go home and sit on my ass and stare at the roof until I pass out? Well actually, I'd rather stare into the forest or light a bowl, but whatever works ;P

Anyways, I'm tired of not being real. I promised my friend I wouldn't get high anymore so he wouldn't leave me, and I haven't kept it...but I haven't told him that either...It was a onetime party, been sober since. I'm not an addict in the slightest, so I have no struggle with the drugs. I just feel the world is more real when I'm stoned than sober, so It's refreshing.

I don't wanna be a girl anymore. I don't wanna be fake anymore. I don't wanna wake up from my sweet sweet dreams...So why should I ? What makes us real ? I don't want this fakeness...


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Re: why wake up ? (not depressed) - September 6th 2011, 12:48 AM

Hey, I have officially decided to give up being fake. If you would like we can do it together? message me


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Re: why wake up ? (not depressed) - September 6th 2011, 02:21 AM

I hate it when people are fake, I see no point to it. I kind of adopted the f*ck it additude....it works quite well.
   
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Re: why wake up ? (not depressed) - September 6th 2011, 07:51 PM

Hey; if you don't want to deal with fakeness, don't be fake. I think that by lying to your friend you're being fake in a way, and I think you should be as you're saying and be real to your friend about your addiction.
No one ever said the world was good, it just depends on how you handle your feelings that's important.


"Everyone says that love hurts, but that's not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Everyone confuses these things with love, but in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes us feel wonderful again." [color=#FF0000]<3



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Re: why wake up ? (not depressed) - September 7th 2011, 03:07 AM

But...he's never done any of these drugs...He doesnt understand what ot feels like...thats why I never told him about the onenight thing...cuz if he knew, he wudnt understand...and he'd leave me again...ive broken enough to keep this silly friend around, it wud be a waste to just tell him something that will make him leave forever yaknow?

And to the being fake...what i meant was something along the lines of not being really real...like i dont actually exist...its creeping me out, and I'm hating this 'reality' im trapped in more and more each day..


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