Depressed, but only sort of???

[Bubbles37]

I think I'm depressed. A lot of the time I really couldn't care less about anything. I feel hopeless and sad, or just plain numb. I spend a lot of time crying. I also SH. No one knows.

The thing is, I feel like I might not really be depressed because I don't feel that way all the time. When I'm with my best friend, I am sometimes totally fine. It's almost like I forget my depression. But any good mood (or even just feeling okay--which is good for me) never lasts. If I have a crappy day at school, I usually feel a little better that evening. Or vise virsa. Then there are the days I feel like I can't take it anymore. I just feel like I'm not strong enough to handle life. The littlest things upset me.

I just don't know what to do with myself. I can't handle when I'm feeling super depressed. But I'm not sad ALL the time, so it's like my feelings aren't valid. Also, I have no fucking reason to be depressed. I mean, my life seems pretty good. I don't even know. I just don't want to be me anymore. I hate feeling so hopelessly sad for no reason. I hate that I cry so much. I hate that I SH. I generally hate myself.

[Xx.Shes.Unbroken.xX]

I am the same way...

[Childish Giggle]

But why are you depressed?

[Thirteen]

What kinds of things trigger you into feeling Depressed, or into Self-Harming?

[Bubbles37]

Originally Posted by Pisces

But why are you depressed?

No idea. I have no freaking reason to be depressed. Yet I probably am.

Originally Posted by Thirteen

What kinds of things trigger you into feeling Depressed, or into Self-Harming?

A lot of times it just seems random. Stress makes it worse, though. Also, not doing well in dance class. But some days are really terrible for no apparent reason.

[bailatyvm]

Hey there;
Sometimes certain places/situations can trigger unhappy feelings. Do you feel that you have a happy home life? Are you most depressed there? Those are some questions to take into account. You say you're feeling happiest when with your best friend; I'd recommend talking to her when you're feeling anything less than happy and maybe she can help you get your emotions straight. If you're still feeling this way after you've made an effort to control these feelings, perhaps you should go see a psychologist or doctor to help make sure that everything is alright with you.
Best of luck!

[Bubbles37]

Originally Posted by bailatyvm

Hey there;
Sometimes certain places/situations can trigger unhappy feelings. Do you feel that you have a happy home life? Are you most depressed there? Those are some questions to take into account. You say you're feeling happiest when with your best friend; I'd recommend talking to her when you're feeling anything less than happy and maybe she can help you get your emotions straight. If you're still feeling this way after you've made an effort to control these feelings, perhaps you should go see a psychologist or doctor to help make sure that everything is alright with you.
Best of luck!

To answer your questions: I have a fine home life, but I'm most depressed when I'm alone in my room. (Although, that's probably b/c it's the only place I let myself cry and stop trying to act like I'm alright.)
I can't tell my best friend, though. We laugh at the same things and have a good time together (well, we did before I started feeling like this), but she's not someone I can be open about my emotions with. I'm also not someone who tells people when something's wrong. Yes, that's technically what I'm doing here, but I can't do it in real life.

[Some Random Dude]

I feel the same way about myself, I've never SH'd though, because I don't have the guts to do it.

[Lifeblood]

I used to be just like this including the SH and the up and down where sometimes I felt fine again, it used to make me feel worse and punish myself more when I'd had a good day because it made me hate myself even more-why could I not even be depressed properly?

I think you're depressed, properly, and should tell someone, even if it's just one person and you don't even have to tell them everything

Oh, I was also the same with having no actual real reason for it :/ However I do think that might be why I'm not depressed any more despite having no outside help (I never told anyone and no-one knew about my SH or...well anything else. Wouldn't advise that though, don't count on getting better randomly like I did, I was lucky) For me it may have been just a phase...although it was a 3 year phase if it was and it's a phase I still fight daily in case I slip back, so it doesn't seem much like a phase

Good luck anyway with beating it!

[Childish Giggle]

Don't hold back your emotions. Get them out. Here or to your friend, doesn't matter. But the point is don't hold them inside. They will only end up harming you. Its good to cry and vent out. Its very healthy.

Has there been any incident that hurt you?

[craz33me]

I'm the same way,
especially when I'm with my boyfriend.
But I think part of mine's cause he's depressed too..

[steveroger]

Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person's thoughts, behaviour, feelings and physical well-being.[1] Depressed people may feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, or restless. They may lose interest in activities that once were pleasurable,Depression, which doctors call major depressive disorder, isn’t something you can just “snap out of.” It is thought to be caused by an imbalance of brain chemicals and other factors. Like any serious illness, depression should be treated.