The story of how I ruined my social life for a few years.

[Inlimbonowandforever]

Ok, I want to post this because I've been depressed a bit lately, and it all seems to lead back to this.

It all started two years ago, in 8th grade... and basically, two things happened that year, a double whammy.

First off, I was like, crazy in love with this girl. I was stupid and naive. I probably asked her out about 3 times (over the course of the year) and finally, around maybe, early spring, she said yes...

only to dump me three days later.

ow.
I got pretty depressed about this, and started thinking about suicide... I know, totally stupid... and honestly, I can't say I would have actually done it either. I was thinking about it, but in my mind, this whole situation was way more terrible and serious that, in actuality, it probably was.

Anyway, throughout the year, I've had this friend. He'd been my friend since the start of the year (but not really before) and we were pretty good friends. However, he was sometimes a little mean, and he would occasionally say or do things I didn't particularly like. But it was all just a joke, and, at this time, I doubt he really meant anything by it.

So, I'm depressed over this girl, and while my friend tries to cheer me up and all, he's also starting to be meaner to me, saying stuff that's pretty hurtful. I ask him to stop a few times, but, although he totally apologizes and stuff, he never really does.

Anyway, we were building up towards a storm here. I'm still depressed, and basically what happened is that some kid or another got on my nerves. I didn't do anything about it, but I talked to my "friend" on facebook about it, and I alluded to hurting him or something, and, since I'm a good writer, and also pretty dramatic, as well as back then I was pretty darn mental, I probably blew it way out of proportion. But basically, it was along the lines of "UGGHH, Some days I just wanna..." or something like that.

Soooo, my friend basically shows this to his parents and he blows it even more out of proportion, and I get OSS (out of school suspension) for a minimum of a week, and I can't come back until I get a mental evaluation from a therapist person, and they send it to the school saying I'm fine and I can come back.

Basically, the principal has read over the convo, and he basically says "I honestly don't think this is that big a deal, and I'm not going to put this on your record, but because a parent complained, we have to do something"

I'm shaken and hurt by it, and obviously I'm now no longer friends with that kid, but anyway, I get by, evaluation goes fine, and I go back to school. Sure, some people act a little weirdly, I mean, I've been gone for a week. But most of them get that all that happened was a said a few stupid things on facebook, and it got blown out of proportion...

A few weeks later, my ex-friend starts spreading rumors. According to him, no, I didn't say some stupid things on facebook, but I, in fact, had gone completely crazy, like, insane, and had to be locked up in an asylum for treatment...

Yeah...
And some people believed, it, and while I still had friends... it was just kinda weird.


Now, over the summer, people had time to think, I guess, and whether it was because of those rumors, or because they just decided to choose that ex-friend over me, or just because it's High School now, and people change, I'm not sure. But basically, my old group stopped hanging out with me. And I had a crappy year.

This year, it seems people are maturing a little more, and I'm sure most people have kind of forgotten, and my unpopularity is wearing off and such, but still, it's been two years now... and every time I think back to that, I feel stupid and ashamed for it.

I'm not sure if I can say this is the CAUSE for a lot of my random depressive moments, but I can say that it is the cause of some of my random behaviors, such as a lack of faith in the human race (although that one MOSTLY came about because of the news and how much we're screwing up the earth, but that's a completely different topic), untrustworthiness, and kind of a "loner" attitude.

So, yeah... the more you know.


EDIT: This whole thing sounded a little less pathetic when I was writing it...

I would like to add that I have NO excuse to feel depressed over this... it's a little incident that happened in 8th grade, and honestly, it's stupid that I would get upset over something like this, that I still do, to this day... but yeah... guess that's me.

[SoraKat]

Hey, okay DONT say anything is pathetic, because honestly, stuff affects you. And so what people are maturing? they did that to you and its hard to forget.

i want you to keep looking up though, okay? dont focus on the past, because as you see it bogs you down. Show them who you really are, and dont let their opinions stop you from shining.

I am pretty sure that that person was DEFINITELY not a good friend, as you discovered, but it just shows what an awful person HE IS. not you. okay?

im sorry this is short, but i read this and wanted just to make sure you knew that
1. this isnt pathetic
2. it was HIS problems that caused this and not yours.... okay?


I really hope you feel better. Keep looking up

<3 Sora

[Missmaggie55]

Hey Jon,

Fist off, I just want to acknowledge your writing skills. You are able to express yourself really well and you write beautifully!

I know it's been a rough ride for the past two years, but you've got so much to look forward to and it sounds as though you've got a good head on your shoulders. You are NOT pathetic and you've been trough a lot. Since it's October and fall symbolizes the beginning of a new school year, I think it would be a great idea to focus on the you NOW and not the you BEFORE. Ask yourself questions. Who do you respect? What kind of people do you want in your life? What makes you smile? What frustrates you? What do you enjoy doing? What impresses you? What are your strengths? What would be your ideal perfect day?

Answering these questions will help you identify the person you have become. This is a new year and it's time for a new start! Wipe the slate clean and get to know yourself. Knowing yourself will help you become more comfortable in your skin and that will lead to greater confidence and conviction in the choices you make. The clearer you are about who you are and what you stand for, the better your life will become. I promise.

I'm here if you ever want to chat or vent.

[Chair]

Sounds like you've already thought it all through and understand that people simply change over time. What happened in 8th grade has taught you something; the least you can do now is not repeat the same steps.

I'm sure you've already thought about this but, it would be good if you could try to join some clubs or sports teams to get to meet people that share your likes (or dislikes?).