Triggering (Suicide): I'm scared

[Unlucky]

I'm terrified how absolute I feel about the fact I'm going to commit suicide before my graduation in June.

I've thought of suicide for a while but never acted on it, however, in the back of my mind, I've always thought it was how I would be done. It scares me that the way that I'm thinking is that my end is my suicide by June - there is no other option. I cannot change my decision. It's done.

It scares the crap out of me I think that way but I have no idea how to change it. I can't ask for help - there is no one to turn to. I can't shatter my parents illusion of me, my best friend would have no idea what to do, my school counsellors are rarely used for anything but graduation plans - in addition, my family is fairly close with mine and I'd never get the guts to tell her. I have nowhere to go and the suicide plan won't waver.

I'm scared.

[Samrz]

Talk to someone. Talk to someone ASAP. You're parents or a teacher or the councilor or your bestfriend or anyone. You're parents would be more grateful that you came to them instead of killing yourself. They would think you of being very responsible because you would've done the right thing. If you don't feel comfortable telling your parents, tell your councilor. They will listen. It's their job. And if you don't feel comfortable telling them, tell your friend. If she was a true friend, she'd try to help you as much as possible. Please tell someone. If you kill yourself, you're not just hurting yourself. You're hurting you're friends and family, too. It sounds like they care about you and you care about them, so if you really care about them, don't kill yourself and get help. Please. Or talk to a suicide hotline or something. Just get some kind of help. Please<3

[LoveFever]

Wouldn't it be great if you could prove yourself wrong, though?
Just think about all the great things that you'll be able to do after graduation. Trust me, it's a lot less pressure and soo much easier after high school. I know people have probably been telling you that, but it's really true!
Maybe you don't believe me, but you'll never really know unless you stick around to find out.