Triggering (Suicide): WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME...

[ADDICTEDIITHEFASTLIFE]

LATELY LIFE HASJUST DROPPED A BIG BALL OF REALITY RIGHT ON TOP OF MY HEAD...IVE BEEN REALLY DEPRESSED TO THE POINT WHERE IDONT DO ANYTHING.NOTHING ALL DAY BUT CRY.I DONT KNOWWHAT IT IS. I DONT FEEL RIGHT ANYWHERE. WITH ANYONE. IM UNABLE TO TALK TO PEOPLE. IHAVE 0 ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN MY LIFE. I WAS RECENTLY RELEASED FROMJAIL,NOW ON PROBATION,AND THEY WANT ME TO DO ALL THESE THINGS AND I CANT EVEN SEEM TOP GET OUTTVE BED.NOTHING INTERESTS ME.NOT TV,THE INTERNET FRIENDS?NOTHING. I JUST CRY AND CRY LIKE I HAVE NOBALL'S..0 CONFIDENCE.ALOT OF ANXIETY. WHY CANT I DO SOMETHING. IM BROKE AND NO VEHICLE AND I HAVE DEADLINE'S TO MEET OTHERWISE I GO BACK TO JAIL..I CANT EVEN VENT CORRECTLY, I DONT KNOW HOW. I HAVE A FACEBOOK AND TWITTER THAT I HARRDLY EVER MAKE ANY POST'S ON BECAUSE I DONT DO A DAMN THING.. ALL I EVER DID IN MY LIFE WAS PARTY AND I DIDNT EVEN DO THAT RIGHT..WHAT THE FUCK IS MY PURPOSE HERE...I SIT ABSENT MINDEDLY STARING INTO SPACE ON MY BED. TOO DEPRESSED TO EVEN WATCH TELEVISION BECAUSE NOTHING SEEMS INTERESTING. I NEVER UNDERSTAND ANYTHING. EVERYTHING THAT SEEMS REAL COOL TO OTHER PEOPLE I HAVE NOINTEREST IN. ITS LIKE I DONT EVEN KNOW MYSELF.I KNOW IVE DONE SOME STUPID THING'SWITH MY LIFE AND MY MOTHER ALWAYS MAKES ME FEEL LIKE SHIT. IM SO STUCK IN THIS MINDSET. I KNOW ITS ALL IN MY HEAD BUT I CANT SHAKE IT. ITS LIKE IM SO FUCKING LAZY.. WHAT THE FUCK...AHHHHHHHHHHHFJDHFKJWSAFHDKS
IM SO READY TOJUST KILL MYSELF...
ALL IVE EVER WANTEDWAS TO BE SOMEONE BUT I DONT EVENKNOW MYSELF ANDI CANT GET MOTIVATED. I WANNA DIE.I DONT WANNA EAT I DONT WANNA HAVE FRIENDS,IM SO FUCKING DEPRESSED OH MY GOD PLEASEHELP.
IM SOO EMPTY
I NEED AMBITION

[SoraKat]

Hey hun, it WILL be okay somehow.

i highly suggest getting some professional help, because medication can help, and sometiems just having someone to talk to can make a big difference.

you will be okay

keep hoping okay?

[Ella.x]

Hey
Have you got a probation officer? You could try speaking to them about this - they might be able to point you in the direction of some help and offer you support and if they know that you're struggling with feeling depressed they might be able to cut you some slack. Alternatively, you could speak to a doctor or a counsellor about the way that you're feeling.
Hang in there, it can get better.
Ella

[drewpboy]

hey bro. im 19 and dont even know why im on this site. i just made an account and half of its all bullshit i dont need to read, but your post made me think of how i used to be. you need to learn to respect people. then they will respect you. dont kill your self fool. just learn to love something.

[Raining Glitter]

Okay first- the fact that you posted on here means you want to change. I know you might be confused right now, but the fact that you want to change means everything. Posting on here is an accomplishment. A lot of people don't get this far-they don't tell anyone.

You have accomplished many things in life, you just don't realize it. One of your accomplishments is getting out of jail. A lot of people never get out of jail. You were able to survive your time, and now your out, ready to be a better person.

Have you tried any ex-offender programs?

http://www.depression-guide.com/reha.../criminal.html
This link above talks about rehabilitation for offenders and ex-offenders with Depression. It lists several foundations and organizations that can help you through these tough times. There are even more out there, and there are a ton of programs that can help newly released ex-offenders adjust to society. I'd recommend talking to your probation officer. He/she is there for a reason-not only to check on your actions when you get released, but also to make sure you are doing fine. He/she should have a ton of information on programs you join, since their job is easier if you don't repeat another offense.

You're not alone. Actually, a lot of ex-offenders have difficulties adjusting to society after getting out of jail. Depression is normal to happen-and it has happened to many people. You aren't the only one who been through this.

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/depression/
Here's a link about different types of Depression, symptoms, treatments, and how you can help yourself. On the left side of the page, there's more information and links you can click on. Also check out the "more articles of Depression" since it will give you a ton of different articles, some that might help you.

Please don't kill yourself. It is not worth it. I know you are in a tough spot right now, but you need to come out fighting. Having Depression does not mean you don't have any ballz. It means that you are going through a lot right now, and you are human. The human mind can only handle so much-and sometimes it needs help since humans are not perfect. Believe me, once you get through this, you will see how amazing you are and how much ballz you actually have. Please don't kill yourself-you have a lot of potential, whether you think you do or not.

If you have any more questions or want me to go into detail about anything, let me know! I use to be depressed and suicidal. I remember starring at walls, the constant crying, the constant beating myself up and thinking I'm a failure. Although my situation was different from yours, it was the same emotions. You're not alone in this.

I want to add in that I believe in you. It doesn't matter what you did in the past, but what you do in the future. You can and WILL get through this, okay? You are already a very strong individual and this is just another mountain to climb. Don't be afraid to open up because there are people who want to help you. If you still feel uncomfortable opening up to anyone in person, you can at least talk about it with someone on here. Be happy to message me or anyone else on here-we truly want to listen and we care about you. Just stay strong!

[FillingWithHope]

Everything is going to be alright. Just stay strong and positive. Try talking to someone, it will help loads.