TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Ambedo. Offline
I'm as sane as I ever was.

Outside, huh?
**********
 
Ambedo.'s Avatar
 
Name: Sam
Age: 25
Gender: Female

Posts: 3,569
Blog Entries: 26
Join Date: July 19th 2011

I Deserve It. - December 20th 2011, 11:51 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Yup. I deserve to fucking die. I've been hurting people consistently. People think less of me because I'm not like them, because I don't handle things normally. People think I'm just crying out for attention. Well, fuck that. If I wanted attention, I'd have a fake pregnancy scare or something. I wouldn't be sitting here, contemplating ways to end it all. It'd just be better for everyone if I died. I know I don't have the balls to actually do it, though. I'm even too weak for that.


wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Raining Glitter Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
Raining Glitter's Avatar
 
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 198
Blog Entries: 8
Join Date: October 31st 2011

Re: I Deserve It. - December 21st 2011, 12:10 AM

No, you don't deserve it. At all.

You are an amazing person! So kind! Willing to help people that's a good quality. I know you are amazing bc of all the vms we shared with each other You are so kind, intelligent, beautiful, open-minded, (want me to continue I can in my next post!) that you DESERVE to live.

Okay, you aren't perfect, but nether am I. I know I deserve to live, so do you. What those people say about "acting out for attention" is complete BS. Depression is a hard thing to overcome. All you need sometimes is a little support. What those people said was foolish and untrue. My family said the same thing about me when I was suicidal. But we both know the emotions we feel during these type of times are REAL and not just "begging for attention" or some other closed-minded BS theory.

You are amazing. Maybe try telling a teacher, counselor, or an adult you are close to about this. You can get help I did. You deserve to be happy.

Be happy to PM me anytime too, when you need someone to talk to or rant to. I'd love to hear all about whatever is bothering you

I hope you feel better. Please, remember, you are an awesome beautiful young intelligent lady that has a lot to offer the world. Don't give up. You deserve happiness.




Sometimes all you need to do is sprinkle a little glitter on someone's raincloud to blend them a rainbow.
Having a bad day?
Need some glitter?: Look, Listen, & Love
(note: I do not own the first two)
PM me ANYTIME if you want to talk!
I'll listen. You are not alone.

   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Palmolive Offline
Purr Purr Purr.
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Palmolive's Avatar
 
Name: Jessie
Age: 25
Gender: Girly.
Location: The stars.

Posts: 5,791
Blog Entries: 2317
Join Date: January 31st 2009

Re: I Deserve It. - December 21st 2011, 06:24 PM

Hi there.

I mean, I don't quite know what to say to you or how to help because I don't know what is going on for you at all. I don't know if anything even is going on or if you're feeling this way for no reason. If there is something which is distressing you, you're more than welcome to talk to us about it.

I just wanted to tell you that you don't deserve to die, no one does. Death isn't something anyone deserves. You've done nothing wrong, you're a good person, you're kind and caring and you're strong and you do havea life ahead of you. You're worth so much and you can have a future so don't throw it away. I know it's hard for you right now and I know how horrible it is to have suicidal thoughts but YOU can beat them and you can get through this. And you're not alone, so don't suffer through this by yourself. Talk to people, let them in. Don't be alone.

Look after yourself.
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

Helplink Mentor l Article writer l Forum mod l Community Mod
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Ambedo. Offline
I'm as sane as I ever was.

Outside, huh?
**********
 
Ambedo.'s Avatar
 
Name: Sam
Age: 25
Gender: Female

Posts: 3,569
Blog Entries: 26
Join Date: July 19th 2011

Re: I Deserve It. - December 21st 2011, 07:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raining Glitter View Post
What those people say about "acting out for attention" is complete BS. Depression is a hard thing to overcome. All you need sometimes is a little support. What those people said was foolish and untrue.
Thanks for saying all those nice things. But, this part really stuck out to me. It definitely pisses me off when people say my emotions aren't true, and are just a show so people feel bad for me. There are reasons I don't put my emotions on display for the world to see. I dunno. When people say things like that, it just makes it even harder for me to deal with.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lygophobia View Post
I mean, I don't quite know what to say to you or how to help because I don't know what is going on for you at all. I don't know if anything even is going on or if you're feeling this way for no reason. If there is something which is distressing you, you're more than welcome to talk to us about it.
There's definitely a lot going on. I just wasn't in the mood to type it all out the other night. Basically, I've hurt a lot of people because of my actions. It's not even the actions of hurting myself. It's just the things that I do in my daily life. Things like trying to look after myself, or being friendly and accidentally sending the wrong signal. I know I don't deserve half the support I get from other people. I dunno. It's not even the fact that I want to die. I just feel like it would make other people's lives better. Maybe I just sound crazy.


wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Palmolive Offline
Purr Purr Purr.
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Palmolive's Avatar
 
Name: Jessie
Age: 25
Gender: Girly.
Location: The stars.

Posts: 5,791
Blog Entries: 2317
Join Date: January 31st 2009

Re: I Deserve It. - December 21st 2011, 08:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovesBrokenDream View Post


There's definitely a lot going on. I just wasn't in the mood to type it all out the other night. Basically, I've hurt a lot of people because of my actions. It's not even the actions of hurting myself. It's just the things that I do in my daily life. Things like trying to look after myself, or being friendly and accidentally sending the wrong signal. I know I don't deserve half the support I get from other people. I dunno. It's not even the fact that I want to die. I just feel like it would make other people's lives better. Maybe I just sound crazy.
Hi again.

I want to tell you that if you think you're hurting people by looking after yourself and being friendly then you're wrong, you must me. If you're being friendly and sometimes happens to take it the wrong way, that's not your fault. You did not intentionally meant to hurt or upset them. And you have to look after yourself in life because as we start to grow up and turn into adults, that becomes your own responsibility to do so, that's a fact of life and that is just how it is. I don't know if I am missing something, but if that's why you think you deserve to die, I highly recommend you now looking in to why you deserve to live. You take responsibility for yourself, you look after you and to me, that's brill. That's a good thing. You try and be friendly to people which is also good. You're kind, you're caring and considerate. When you hurt people, you clearly don't like it which proves you're a lovely person. You also volunteer on here, helping people. You do good things and there is no way, that you 'deserve' to die.

I hope that you are okay.
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

Helplink Mentor l Article writer l Forum mod l Community Mod
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Hiraeth Offline
Glorious raindrops
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
Hiraeth's Avatar
 
Gender: Male
Location: who knows anymore

Posts: 699
Join Date: October 24th 2010

Re: I Deserve It. - December 21st 2011, 11:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovesBrokenDream View Post
There's definitely a lot going on. I just wasn't in the mood to type it all out the other night. Basically, I've hurt a lot of people because of my actions. It's not even the actions of hurting myself. It's just the things that I do in my daily life. Things like trying to look after myself, or being friendly and accidentally sending the wrong signal. I know I don't deserve half the support I get from other people. I dunno. It's not even the fact that I want to die. I just feel like it would make other people's lives better. Maybe I just sound crazy.
Dear Sammi,

A trusted friend once said to me: "Other people's reactions are more about them, than they are about you." This is because when we perceive another, our perceptions will always be influenced by us, the owner of those perceptions - our history, our experiences, our beliefs and values, our current emotional state and capacity, and so forth.

When speech or action is hurtful, there are always two sides involved. If it is something in particular that we did, can we see why we did that and how we can improve in the future? For example, if we were trying to be friendly and caring for someone going through a difficult time but was interpreted as being pushy or intrusive - we would have to talk to that person in particular and have a conversation about what "caring" and "intrusive" mean, respectively. At the same time, we may also ask for the other person's patience and support, because going against our habit energies and changing the way we relate and respond to things is not a quick and simple process.

Yet, the person who feels hurt must also take responsibility of their reaction, and ask themselves with the same sincerity - why am I reacting the way that I am? If I feel angry, why is it anger that arises as opposed to compassion towards the other person, for example? Did the other person really intend to hurt me? If not, ie. if they were just being their usual selves and something about their usual self irked me, then that's very different - and the source of conflict arises from somewhere in me, not in them or in interaction with them.

That is a very important distinction. A lot of times we see that individuals who are in difficult situations end up "driving away" everyone that tried to be supportive at first, because they were "just too difficult" to handle. But as long as we are genuinely committed to learning and healing in our everyday life, then we owe nothing to others - and if they choose to leave or respond harshly, it's really about them and their own issues or lack of emotional capacity, not about us. And, if they were committed to learning and healing in their own lives, they would know to take the experience of having their buttons pushed by you and learn great lessons about themselves through it - so, please don't think that "mistakes = automatically bad", and that being someone who frequently struggles = "being a bad person" - what really determines it is in how mistakes and struggles are responded to, by you and those around you. Do we allow it to pull us down and drown in negativity, or recognize it as a valuable opportunity to grow and become wiser?

And of course, the most important quality we must develop if we want to be successful in our healing process, is compassion towards ourselves.

Hope this helps,

k


"If limitations exist, it is because we have erased the possibility of potential."

Feel free to PM me if you ever need anything.
  Send a message via Skype™ to Hiraeth 
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Dream Offline
Member
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Dream's Avatar
 
Gender: Female (Trans MtF)

Posts: 868
Join Date: January 8th 2009

Re: I Deserve It. - December 22nd 2011, 12:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovesBrokenDream View Post
Yup. I deserve to fucking die. I've been hurting people consistently. People think less of me because I'm not like them, because I don't handle things normally. People think I'm just crying out for attention. Well, fuck that. If I wanted attention, I'd have a fake pregnancy scare or something. I wouldn't be sitting here, contemplating ways to end it all. It'd just be better for everyone if I died. I know I don't have the balls to actually do it, though. I'm even too weak for that.
Hey, you definitely do not deserve to die. You are a great person even if you do not feel that way right now.

Some people might think less of you because you are not like them and do not handle things their way, but those people are shallow and their ways are shallow as well. I can already tell you are a very sensitive person and you put a lot of consideration into things, and that is a good thing. There will be people who do not like you for it, but you will also find people who love you for it. Do not let them get you down. You are doing the right thing. You are not weak. Strength comes from compassion, so do not feel weak or worthless simply because you are suffering and need help with it.

I'm sorry I wish I could do more. Please take care and do not hurt yourself.



   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
alliannasmomma5 Offline
~live.laugh.love~
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
alliannasmomma5's Avatar
 
Name: Mandii
Gender: Female
Location: where ever i end up

Posts: 544
Blog Entries: 13
Join Date: July 5th 2011

Re: I Deserve It. - December 22nd 2011, 12:18 AM

Sammi,

You don't deserve to die! Not at all! You deserve what everyone else deserves and that's happiness! Your caring, sweet, kind, beautiful, and helpful! Those are all amazing qualities! And your an amazing person. Don't think any less of yourself. Nobody is perfect! I certainly know I'm not. But you will be okay. And I'm always here if you need me. I hate when people try to pawn my feeling as me wanting attention so I understand. But hell, just ignore people like that. Their opinion obviously doesn't matter. Don't worry lovey. You matter and you so do NOT deserve to die! Your too important to die!
But PM me if you want to talk. I'm here to listen and help when I can!


Allianna Faith 3/10/11-9/18/11 </3
You never know what you've got till it's gone..



   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Ambedo. Offline
I'm as sane as I ever was.

Outside, huh?
**********
 
Ambedo.'s Avatar
 
Name: Sam
Age: 25
Gender: Female

Posts: 3,569
Blog Entries: 26
Join Date: July 19th 2011

Re: I Deserve It. - December 22nd 2011, 06:53 AM

Why is it so hard for me to see the things that all of you see??

I don't even really care anymore, though. It is what it is.


wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
deserve

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.