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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Merry Christmas - December 25th 2011, 09:25 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm currently sitting on my couch, fighting the urge to get the carving knife in the kitchen and push it through my heart, or grab the bundle of rope in the shed and hang myself. Entertaining the thoughts gives me pleasure.
If I was sadistic enough, I would do the hanging. Tie a ribbon around myself with a Merry Christmas card. But I'm not, my conscience gets the better of me for that at least.

I just want it all to end. This is the third time this year I've been seconds away from killing myself. Everything is so fragile. I can't do this shit any more

Maybe I'm meant to kill myself, if I've been feeling like this so frequently.
Mum is constantly angry at me, my dad is only around not even half the time, I don't think my best friend cares any more. Maybe I can join my other best friend in what ever after life there is. She will understand.

Please, I just want it all to end. Please.

please


"Do not regret anything. Every choice, fuck up, spoken word, experience and emotion has brought you to this very moment. It has shaped exactly who you are. Do not regret who you are. You are unique. No one in the world is like you. In this sense, we are alone. Yet for this very reason, we all have one thing in common. Don't waste who you are, be everything you can be. You can achieve your dreams, you just have to genuinely try."
   
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Re: Merry Christmas - December 26th 2011, 12:04 AM

Please don't. You are special, unque, pretty, funny, happy, and cute. Imagine if you did it how much pain it would cause everyone around you. If you need to rant pm me anytime. If there is anything I can do for you just let me know. I do care about you even if no one else in your life does. Please I am here just tell me I will help you. PM anytime, anywhere.
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Re: Merry Christmas - December 26th 2011, 01:04 AM

Hello,

Please don't kill yourself!!!

I am sorry things are so hard for you right now but you need to be strong. I hope that you are okay!

If you need anything please don't hesitate to PM me I am here for you anytime.


Stay Safe,

BlaineG.
   
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Re: Merry Christmas - December 26th 2011, 02:48 AM

Thanks guys, but really right now its just a solo battle in my head.

My mum came screamed and swore at me for a good solid 2-3 hours saying how much of a spoiled, self centred brat I am and, I quote, she "would rather have my room with an empty bed than to come in and have an argument every night" even though this is the first argument in weeks, months even.

I'm not killing myself today. I'm going to spend it pretending to be happy and filled with joy, spending time with everyone.

After that though, it's up for contention. Mum wants me to go to a psych ward in the next town, but that makes me so scared. I just want to disappear.

Dammit. Wish I was part of Harry Potter. Then I could use that spell "Obliterate" and it would all be fine haha


"Do not regret anything. Every choice, fuck up, spoken word, experience and emotion has brought you to this very moment. It has shaped exactly who you are. Do not regret who you are. You are unique. No one in the world is like you. In this sense, we are alone. Yet for this very reason, we all have one thing in common. Don't waste who you are, be everything you can be. You can achieve your dreams, you just have to genuinely try."
   
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