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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
SoftSpoken_ Offline
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Name: Marcus
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Join Date: July 17th 2011

Hello thar! - December 26th 2011, 07:41 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hello. My name is Marcus. I've struggled with depression and social anxiety since I was a small child. Maybe it's genetics or maybe it's my fault. Maybe at least one person will respond to the message with a sincere answer, not a a fill in the blank template with my name. Haha jk jk, No one ever bothers with my threads.

I'm 16 years old and this has probably been the best Christmas I've ever had. They say the best gift are the ones you cant see(By 'they' I'm also referring to the people you cant see ). It could be when your sister comes home for the holidays, and that warm feeling builds up inside of you; just knowing that this will probably be the last time you see her. Or maybe it's the feeling in your heart when you see that smile between the rosy red cheeks of your partner's face.

In my case it was the realization that my life is pretty much over. Sure I may live a while longer(just got a damn tablet and it would be a shame not to use it a bit) but I am dead on the inside. If you could honestly comprehend the amount of hate, shame, and just how unloved I am- Wait wait wait... wait.. wait. wait. wait

Nevermind. I had thought of a nice way to bring my point across but then realized everyone on here only cares about the chicks who lost their boyfriend and are sad and stuff.

TL;DR: This is my last thread on the forums whether I live or commit suicide. Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas/whatever-you-wanna-call-your-celebration. Stay strong TH'ers.
   
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Millarw12 Offline
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Re: Hello thar! - December 26th 2011, 08:58 AM

Same boat Marcus. Same fucking boat.
But I found one little tiny reason to keep walking around, despite the constant hatred and feeling completely hollow. My reason was my little sister. There was a suicide in my town a few weeks ago, and I can't consciously make the choice to pass all my hurt and sadness onto her.

Find a little reason to stick around. People offer all the time on here, but most of the time they never offer legit, straight to the point advice. I will, if you want it. I want to get to know you too, but that probably counts for nothing.

Don't do it. It will probably fuck over a lot of people and make them feel as you and I do now.


"Do not regret anything. Every choice, fuck up, spoken word, experience and emotion has brought you to this very moment. It has shaped exactly who you are. Do not regret who you are. You are unique. No one in the world is like you. In this sense, we are alone. Yet for this very reason, we all have one thing in common. Don't waste who you are, be everything you can be. You can achieve your dreams, you just have to genuinely try."
   
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Everglow. Offline
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Re: Hello thar! - December 26th 2011, 12:12 PM

Hey Marcus,

I've seen many people around these forums with the same concerns about the help they give them as you. Sometimes it seems that TeenHelp comes across as though it doesn't seem to care about some people but I promise you, personally, nobody here is any diferent to anyone else. Everyone matters equally, whether they are sad about a break up as you said, or genuinely need the long term support for a problems such as depression and anxiety. I'm really sorry that TeenHelp has not seemed to help you as you would have liked but it's not something we wanted to happen. Sometimes threads dont get answers; sometimes they do but they aren't the ones you are looking for. There are other methods that you can receive some support if the forums aren't working for you. Try LiveHelp out, or HelpLINK. You're garunteed responses when LH is online, and you will get responses from HelpLINK too. Don't give up just yet.

As for the problem you've began to go into. Suicide isn't the way forward. I understand sometimes it can seem like the best way out, I mean..life gets hard. We all know this. Life throws challenges in our faces every day but it's getting through them that counts. Some people, unfortunately, have it a lot harder than others. In no way am I suggesting that getting over these problems is easy, but it's possible. Very possible. You said yourself, what would be the point in not using something you've been given. It's the same with life. You have this life to live and enjoy, and you're thinking of throwing it away. I know it's a difference - material things and something as big as your life - but if you're going to use something that can be replaced and not just throw it away, well then surely you should use the one thing you can never replace too, right? Life is valuable, and you can never get it back once it's gone. Why throw it away when you've got many, many more years to offer to it; when you've got so much you can give to the world and the world can give back? It doesn't always have to feel like a dead end. People get through what you're going through. It's a struggle, I know that, trust me I do, but it doesn't have to be one that goes nowhere.

IF you don't already, I'd seriously recommend you talk to a professional about this. They can offer you so much support through various different methods, and one may just prove useful to you. It could take a while, and it could be hard to do, but it's not something you CAN'T do. You CAN do it, and I know it. You're not weak, and simply by posting here to even say you're not staying around shows that you want someone to reach out to you. If you can do that here, then go out into the world and do it there too. It doesn't always have to be a dead end.

I hope this has helped you a bit and I hope that you find a way of getting some support. Remember, TeenHelp isn't here to judge people and favourtise some over others. You are just as important as anyone else.
Keep your chin up,
Hollie.


❤ Nana ❤
1953-2016

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
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