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Post Help - December 29th 2011, 12:15 AM

I don't really know what to do here, but I need help. I hate myself so much. I am mean, and I wouldn't be surprised if my family hated me. I am not skinny enough. I am so afraid of judgement. Even right now posting this. I secretly want to see a psychiatrist, but that sounds stupid to. I really need help. How can I start liking myself. I think if I liked myself more, some of my problems would go away.
   
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Re: Help - December 29th 2011, 04:47 AM

Hey,
It's funny, as I'm reading your post it honestly reminds me of myself in a lot of ways. I've went a long time feeling like and thinking (and still do believe at times) my family hates me. It sucks, to feel like that. I know. But, really, no matter what you may think and your reasons for thinking it, I bet you that your family loves you. Every family has it's ups and downs. There's going to be times where you guys disagree, get into arguments, or say things you don't really mean without thinking. But you have to try and keep in mind, most things said are only in the heat of the moment. Your family loves you.

If you think you're mean - try to work on it. Take baby steps. Start trying to find little nice things to do for other people. Maybe cleaning up a bit around the house, walking the dog, taking out the trash, ect, without being asked. Being nice is something you have to work up to, really.

I relate to the feeling of not being skinny enough (or pretty enough, good enough, ect). And I know just how hard it can be to accept, but believe me, you are beautiful. In some way, shape, or form, you are beautiful. Everyone has something about them that is beautiful. If you're uncomfortable with yourself, and are medically in need of change, then by all means, do it the healthy way, and start exercising and work up to becoming more active, if you aren't already. You'll start to feel better about yourself, with some work. (:

I also understand being afraid of judgement. That in itself, is human nature. People as a whole have a tendency to worry over what other people think about them. How other people veiw them. In all honesty though - as cliché as it may sound - their opinions don't matter. It's your opinion that does. So what if someone doesn't like your hair, for example? If you like it, it does not matter what they think. If someone can't accept you for you, you really don't need them.

Seeing a psychiatrist might help - and it's not stupid to think or want to see one - but you have to take initiative and seek that help. You have to want the help. It's going to be a lot easier for people to help you if you're willing to get help. That may require you to speak to a parent or guardian about the matter, or it may just require you to make the call depending on your age. Either way though, you still have to want the help in order for it to really work.

Working on liking yourself isn't going to be easy - like a lot of things in life it's going to take time, effort, dedication, and most of all patience. That change isn't going to happen overnight. But you can do it (: just take things one baby step at a time, and you'll get there. Find something manageable to work on, and start there. As you start to solve problems, it'll get easier to tackle the bigger stuff.

Feel free to PM/VM/Add me. I'm online a lot and would love to be of any help I can. (:
Best of luck and take care dear,
Nikki


♪♫"The mirror only shows
The shell of what's below
You can't go on suffering
The illusion of control
It's time for letting go
You can't go on suffering
And now you know
Now you know"♪♫
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Always keep fighting.
❤Feel free to PM/VM, or add me if you ever need a friend, or someone to talk to. I'm online quite often.
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Last edited by Intoxicated Brutality; December 29th 2011 at 04:54 AM.
   
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Re: Help - December 29th 2011, 02:16 PM

Hi there,

First off, welcome to TeenHelp. I'm glad you've come here to get some support for your problems, and I honestly hope we can provide you with that and help you get to a point where you feel comfortable.

To be honest, I see this all too often. People look at themselves and they don't see anything to love. It's a shame though, because there's always something. It's natural to not like everything about you, but the fact you want to see something to like about yourself shows that you're ready to try things, which is great. I watched a video a while back of someone who had a similar problem to what you've described. She didn't like the way she looked at all. So she made a deal with herself. I want you to try this. Look in the mirror every day, and think of one thing you like about what you see. It can be anything as small as the way your hair looks today, or the fact that your eyes look really nice in the light. Anything at all, and tell yourself what it is. Then, think of something you don't like so much. When you've got it, tell yourself that even though you don't like it, it's a part of you. Tell yourself that it makes you who you are, and it's something to be proud of. What I'm trying to make you do here is see that even the flaws we ALL have are part of what makes us so perfect at being who we are. It doesn't matter if we aren't the perfect human being, because that doesn't exist. What you can be, is perfect within yourself.

If you truly believe you are not skinny enough, maybe try doing some exercise every day. Remember to eat healthily and do things that make you happy. Not only will this be beneficial to your overall healthy, but exercise is actually really good for your mood too. It's something I was always told to do when I had lots of exams coming up because it's supposed to be good for stress and keeping you from being too low mood-wise. Perhaps your family could help you with this, since you mentioned them. You could go for a bike ride together or something, just to help bond with them and be healthy at the same time. I know that when my family and I went on bike rides we used to have a good time, so maybe it's something you could suggest to them.

By bonding with them you may be able to open up a bit more. You could suggest that you're not feeling very good within yourself and that you think it might help you to see a professional. It's not a stupid idea. They really can help people, and the fact you want to get this kind of help for yourself is brilliant. I'd definitely suggest it to them, and ask them if they can help you with it. They are your family; the chances of them hating you are so small.

I hope this has helped a bit. Keep your chin up and don't worry about judgment. You are who you are, and that's something to be proud of and love no matter who you are.
Smile,
Hollie.


❤ Nana ❤
1953-2016

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
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