TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Chey-Chey Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Chey-Chey's Avatar
 
Age: 23
Gender: Other

Posts: 38
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: February 26th 2011

Unhappy i just want it to end.... - December 31st 2011, 08:57 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i only have one person i can REALLY tell everything to. and i just got into a fight with him. i've been suicidal/depressed/self harmed/anorexic/etc for a long time. and everythime i think im doing good, i plumet further down than i've ever been before. i hate my life. i hate my family. i just really want to kill myself.....i don't think i've gona a whole day without thinking about suicide for at least 2 years...even on mostly happy days....i hate it so much. but i know i can't kill myself, but its only for him. no one else. he's the reason i haven't been dead for almost 2 years now. even after attempt (well, during i guess) i think about him, then i hold back enough.
but when i fight with him about something serious, it make sme feel so alone. like i really DON'T have anyone whose really there for me. i realize that i'm just...a worthless little girl who can't even keep a hold of reality or have a happy thought without him....i just don't know what to do. i HATE feeling like this. but i feel like this all the time. we almost never have a fight like this. but even when we don't, theres always SOMETHING (almost always family or school related) that i just sit there, holding a knife or something like that....thinking about what would happen, who would it REALLY imact, that he's the only person in the world who would REALLY care. and i want so bad to be able to be happy....so i don't hurt him. but i don't know HOW.
i've hurt myself so many times in so many different ways.....i just think "if i just kill myself, i wouldn't have to suffer anymore....they wouldn't have anythign to complain about either....." then i realize he does.....i'm sorry this is so long and if i'm repeating myself...i just feel like complete shit right now and thought posting this would be ebtter than hurting myself even more....
its kind of funny....i have so many bottled up feelings of every kind that i don't even know what i feel when an emotion is there....i was just insulted at what he said to me...then when i started typing this out, im crying my eyes out....i don't know if this is good or bad....i hate myself so much....i just want and nees help so bad....with everything. i don't think that theres one thing in my life that isn't completly screwed up in some way or another....






If I can't stop you.... Leave me a note?
-Patrick
  Send a message via Yahoo to Chey-Chey  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Siren❤ Offline
Average Joe
***
 
Siren❤'s Avatar
 
Name: ILH♡
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 147
Join Date: December 29th 2011

Re: i just want it to end.... - December 31st 2011, 10:49 AM

Heya.
Just to say, I sometimes feel the exact same - when I argue with my best friend (also my fiance now), I feel worthless and like there is no hope. Just remember if he does genuinely care, things with him will probably work out again. Everyone has disagreements and arguements, regardless of what kind of friendship/relationship they're in.
PM if you need to talk, I will listen x


   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
end

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.