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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Dervisher Offline
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This thread will receive 1000 views and 0 posts. Like last time. - January 1st 2012, 06:18 PM

At my happiest hour (having drank enough alcohol to put the average person to sleep) I am still feeling this 'what's the point of living? this is pointless. I'm unhappy. everyone else is unhappy. Why bother?'

This is not a 'omgz i has problem and the world is ending' kind of depression. this is me logically understanding that everything is fine in my world, I have many opportunities and support and many people open to helping me and I still do not enjoy life.

Explain to me why I should stay alive when it's pretty obvious there's absolutely fucking nothing to enjoy in this world.


for all of the people saying: "oh some day you'll find your purpose" i've been looking for fucking 15 years. If I haven't found it by now, i'll never fucking find it. Thanks for the useless copy&paste support you've attempted to give me. Try another method of happiness. Oh wait you're all out because you realize this fucking world and its' inhabitants are highly overrated
   
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Palmolive Offline
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Re: This thread will receive 1000 views and 0 posts. Like last time. - January 1st 2012, 08:36 PM

Hi there

I'm sorry things are rough for you right now, it sounds like you're going through a really bad time. I'm going to be honest and tell you I am not sure what to say to you, but I wanted you to know that you are not, and never will be on your own.

Depression at the moment you're going through it, can take the life out of you, which is to be honest, understandable. When someone hits that point of feeling so low that everything feel pointless to them, it's hard to find a reason to even bother fighting it anymore and I can relate to that. However, I do know that depression is beatable and that if it isn't then it is manageable meaning you can still live a life and be happy with the right support, medication etc. And I'm not saying that to make you feel better. I know people can get better from this illness because it's not terminal illness, it's not going to kill you, and what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. People get through depression. As hard as it is at the time, it's not the end of your life or the end of the world. I know the fight is exhausting, but you can get through it and you can get to a stage where you're glad to be alive.

I'm not saying it's going to be easy, because it isn't. In fact it might just be one of the hardest things you ever have to do in your life. It's going to take time, as you already know. It's going to cause you pain that for anyone who hasn't been through it themselves, is unimaginable, it's going to make you tired and there are going to be times when you want to hurt yourself or kill yourself more than anything you have ever wanted before, but if you pull through those moments you will get there, in the end, and when you do get there, you will be so glad you fought through it all.

What support are you getting? You don't have to tell me but I was just wondering. Having a good support network can be really helpful. If however, you feel it isn't working, it might be that seeing someone else who has a different way of working might suit you better, or even a different form of therapy or a change in medication etc. there are so many different things out there which can help so it's just about finding what is best for you.

Has there been anything to make you feel so low or is it just how you feel? If there is something and you want to talk to us about it you're more than welcome to do so. We'll be here to listen and support you as much as we can.

For now just hang on in there, I know it's hard, but I also know that you can beat it. There is so much more to life which you haven't seen and you're still so young. It can get better.

Take good care,
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: This thread will receive 1000 views and 0 posts. Like last time. - January 2nd 2012, 07:59 AM

You seem to think at and advanced level.
Stop being so correct. Act silly, act stupid.
Do fun things you never considered.
Find ways to occupy your time and life.
Aren't you bored of thinking the world is useless?
Let go. Express yourself.
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Re: This thread will receive 1000 views and 0 posts. Like last time. - January 2nd 2012, 03:17 PM

Straight out, same epiphany. You just suddenly realise that your life is meaningless, that everyone's lives are meaningless. That in a brief instant, your little "life" can be snuffed out.

I've been battling on and off with depression, and I came to this same realisation about a year ago. Although, I learnt later on that even though there's no point (that I can see anyway), there are good things worth experiencing. There are horrible things too, but it's up to your conscience to deem whether you want to put people who care about you through the most horrific pain known to man, or to keep on existing and going about your business.

I want to escape. I have for the last 4 years. But I've experienced myself, the pain of suicide and death, and I don't have disregard for my loved ones to put them through what I went through. Yet anyway. I find little reasons to keep on going, from I should be here for my sisters birthday, I don't want to make Christmas or New Years a marker of my death, there's a music festival coming up that will be good etc etc etc.

All in all. No, you're right. There is no point to life. I could get all philosophical and say maybe that IS the point, having to make meaning for yourself blah blah blah but you don't want to hear that. Just stick around for the people who care about you. The pain you have the potential to cause them is unbelievable.

You can legit, PM me if you want. I'm interested to know of your story and your line of thinking, and I can offer you mine if you want. It's all up to you.


"Do not regret anything. Every choice, fuck up, spoken word, experience and emotion has brought you to this very moment. It has shaped exactly who you are. Do not regret who you are. You are unique. No one in the world is like you. In this sense, we are alone. Yet for this very reason, we all have one thing in common. Don't waste who you are, be everything you can be. You can achieve your dreams, you just have to genuinely try."
   
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Re: This thread will receive 1000 views and 0 posts. Like last time. - January 7th 2012, 04:18 AM

There's none of these stages of my mind where I turn into a teenager and my brain is in turmoil. my mind has always had one state of mind, the only difference is over the years i've began understanding why people think what they think and how they react. I look back into the years of my experiences and understand the things I did at the time, and why I did them.

The issue isn't getting hit in the face with 'what's the point of living' it's a re-occurring fact that I don't find the trade-off is worth it in life. For the one day of happiness I MIGHT get (that's a rare thing) I end up putting up with at least a month of this state of mind. The only times i've ever not been down in the dumps about life is when I drink alcohol.

There's none of this feeling of being lonely, life being pointless (it really is, we exist to do whatever we want and interact how we please.) and i'm not interested in doing either of those.
I chose to make this thread knowing nothing would change how i feel about this world and my life.

I find it unfair that other people are the only things making you want to stay alive. Why should I stay alive just so someone doesn't be depressed about my death?
How is that even remotely fair to someone who isn't selfish like me? I'm stuck in this trap where I can't live my life, because that's selfish yet at the same time I can't end it because it's another selfish thing to do. I end up sitting in this world waiting for someone to need my help, which is almost never.
   
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