Triggering (Suicide): my story.

[faithandhope]

Hi,
So I'm new to this whole site and I actually found it through a friend and also from the To Write Love on her Arms website. My story is one full of pain, numbness and hopelessness. I'm not going to say that my story will make an impact because I know that many others have been in the same situation. Basically for 5 years now I've been dealing with Depression and Anxiety, I've come a long way since the beginning which was filled with anger towards everyone and feeling out of place to drinking, smoking and cutting I did everything I could to try to feel something and this went on for a few years then I reached a point where I couldnt do it anymore and after a year of only thinking about myself and being full of self pity that I had to help others because it is what I was meant to do, now I'm not very religious or anything but something told me that theres always hope and even in those dark times where you could just sit there for hours thinking of ways to die that in the end for some reason there is a sense of purpose and for me that was helping others with any problem they had and for years of helping others I kind of forgot to take care of myself and my own problems and it just built up till my anxiety got so bad i would have panic attacks and its still something I deal with on a daily basis but I also have learned that even if you feel alone and out of place and like no one cares look at yourself and what you could be and want to be and make it happen, everyone has a purpose and theres always hope but I also came here because I have a problem, I plan on going to school for mental health counseling and I'm debating going to a therapist but I kinda want to know when i'll be strong enough to help others with what I've gone through without causing to to come back or when i'll be fully ready to help others.

[Christian_girl_4ever]

it sounds like you've overcome a lot and have become a very strong person who can help a lot of people from what you've been through. if you ever just need to talk or some support feel free to PM me.

-danielle

[one_sad_life11]

I hear what your dealing with, I have the same thing and I find it hard to be strong...but I just to be confident in myself and i'll get through it...I've thought about suicide before too, but whenever I do, I start to cry because i realize...if i leave my friends and family behind...what'll I prove to them? drop the drinking, cutting and smoking...they definitely don't help you...they just add more problems. When you have your panic attacks, try to think calmly about the happiest moments you've ever had...I'd love to hear your story of why your this way, I'm always a good listener....I'll pray for you