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Laughter. Faith. Hope.
 I can't get enough ********* 
Name: Rianna
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,926
Join Date: October 9th 2009
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Gah! -
January 3rd 2012, 09:07 AM
This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.
I'm struggling. I know I need help but I know that I can get through this myself. I've been dealing with this since November/December 2008. All I want is to curl up and not do anything. I feel like it's getting harder not easier. I have my Music audition for University tomorrow and I know I'm not going to get in because I'm hopeless. My contract at work is almost over so I don't know what's going to happen in that department. I just want my life to be normal. I just want to be OK. I just want people to leave me alone so I don't have to keep up this fake charade of being OK. I don't trust anyone because whenever I do, they end up telling someone. I want to be good at something. I don't want to feel useless anymore. But I do. I want to excel and prove to the people that ever doubted me that I can do it. I want to be proud of myself more then anything. I want to be happy with everything that I have. But I'm not. I hate myself. And I want someone to understand EXACTLY and EVERYTHING I'm feeling. I want to have a permanent and stable job. I want a guy to love me more then a family member or friend. I want to be happy.
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