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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Antihero
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If You Needed Me - January 11th 2012, 02:20 AM

Hey all,

Not that anyone noticed (or should have), but I've been conspicuously absent from this site recently. I suffer from fairly horrendous Seasonal Affective Disorder, magnified by lack of exercise, alcohol problems, relationship issues, diabetes, etc. Basically I tend to completely shut down in the winter -- last year it was so bad that I had to withdraw from college because I couldn't focus, write, concentrate, etc.

I'm feeling pretty lonely these days...broke up with my GF over the holidays (The Least Wonderful Time of The Year) and I'm watching with mixed emotions as my friends prepare to graduate and enter the "real world."

I'm sorry I haven't been around to help y'all with your issues, and if there's anything I can do for you, or if you just want to talk, feel free to PM or VM me. Hell, I could use a few more friends these days. Stay strong everybody, and know that the lights of love and friendship overcome even the darkest of nights.

If you needed me, I would come to you, I'd swim the seas for to ease your pain.

~Jay



The neon burns a hole in the night, and the Freon burns a hole in the sky.
You can find my kind living right on the fault line, eyes on the seaside, lives on the B-side, kites on the power lines.
   
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Re: If You Needed Me - January 11th 2012, 03:39 AM

Awww I am so sorry to hear that. I hope your doing well, please feel free to PM me anytime you would like. I would love to help you!


"My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return. "
   
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Re: If You Needed Me - January 18th 2012, 02:04 PM

"We are friends and I do like to pass the day with you in serious and inconsequential chatter. I wouldn't mind washing up beside you, dusting beside you, reading the back half of the paper while you read the front. We are friends and I would miss you, do miss you and think of you very often."

I'm your friend, always will be and happy to be. I love you and i'm here for you. thank you for being there for me. thank you for seeing me through the sleepless nights and many more. you are a really great friend. thank you. if you ever need anything, you know where to find me. I LOVE YOU!





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: If You Needed Me - January 18th 2012, 02:58 PM

I'm sorry you're going through so much. I hope you're okay and if you need someone to talk to; I'll be around to chat. I'd love a new friend. <3
   
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Re: If You Needed Me - January 27th 2012, 09:13 PM

i'm sorry you havent been getting everything you need on here. i guess when people have problems of their own it gets hard to look past the walls they have put up to keep people out to help others with their own problems. if that makes sense.......

"When I say I love you, its not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity what you are. You are one hell of a friend."





"Stop acting like you know what I've been through, you know nothing until you've actually lived every moment and felt every ounce of pain that I have."

"Someone asked me if i missed you, I just walked away then I whispered, so much" I'll miss you forever, Vernon and Charlene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bWrL...eature=related
   
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Re: If You Needed Me - January 27th 2012, 09:24 PM

Jay, I'm sorry that you've been going through so much. You don't need to apologize for being absent for a while - sometimes we just need to take time off for ourselves. Please know that my inbox is always open, if you need someone to talk to. I could use some new friends, as well.






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Re: If You Needed Me - January 30th 2012, 01:09 AM

Thanks for the support everyone (and for keeping this thread alive for an Internet Eternity)

I honestly thought I would make it through this winter without a fight. I guess I was mistaken...despite my best efforts (eating well, exercising, bright light therapy, meds, talk therapy, etc.) I feel like my mind is shutting down again. Just in time for exams. Lovely.

On the not-so-bad side, this has so far been my best winter since senior year of high school (I'm a "redshirt junior" in college). In 2009, I was drunk the whole winter and felt like shit. In 2010 and 2011, I was borderline catatonic and thought about suicide every day. At least I'm able to function now, and laugh every now and then. I guess I'll play the waiting game again, I really have no choice.

I wish I knew how to stop this...



The neon burns a hole in the night, and the Freon burns a hole in the sky.
You can find my kind living right on the fault line, eyes on the seaside, lives on the B-side, kites on the power lines.
   
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Re: If You Needed Me - January 30th 2012, 01:17 AM

It will be alright soon. It takes a LOT of time to get better from something like this. A lot of time and hard work. In no way is it an overnight thing. Its taken people YEARS to get better even. Just keep on with your best efforts and you WILL get better. Proud that you are trying=)


   
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