Triggering: Gah!

[Sunlight.]

I'm struggling. My OCD and depression is playing up and it has for a while. I don't have anything to look forward to anymore. My contract for work finishes next week so I don't know what's going to happen after that. I've been getting job interviews for my parents have said not to go because they're too far away but they're only like 40 minutes drive away. I'm hurting and I can't talk to anyone because I don't trust them. I keep my feelings to myself because it's easier that way. I don't have someone who loves me more then a family member or friend, next week I won't have a job and I don't have any talent. I don't make anyone proud. Everything is a blur and sometimes, that's how I want it to be. Just a blur. So the pain is somewhat bearable. I don't feel anything, even when I'm doing something I enjoy. It's like I've become a zombie. All I want to do is cry.

[viemexis]

You say you don't have any talent, but from the looks of things you've helped a lot of people on this site. Surely, that's something.

If you mean it might be hard for you to get a job, that could be true -- but you're in the same boat as many of us, myself included.

It might sound strange, but the unknown is something to look forward to. Even if you don't see anything in your immediate future you're looking forward to, in all likelihood you won't always feel as down as you do now.

Would you mind explaining why you find it hard to trust others enough to talk to them about why you're hurting?