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livetoplaylive Offline
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I'm Such A Failure... - January 12th 2012, 04:15 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Okay,

So I'm 19, I don't have a driving licence or a car. I'm unemployed and go to university. Yet I feel like the biggest screw-up you will ever meet.

During my teens I had a few sexual experiences but with people I'm not really friends with anymore...last year I lost my virginity and then a few months ago got completely smashed and had sex with some random girl i met in the pub. I also sent a couple of people photos of me and tbh one person i shouldnt have...

I should probably point out that my entire family is religious so from that standpoint i feel like an absolute failure seeing a bunch of people who have not screwed up anyway near as much as I have. Also, my dad died 2 1/2 years ago from cancer and in all honesty it's never been spoken about. me, my mum and 2 sisters constantly argue and rarely get on and i spend most of my time shut away in my room or with my girlfriend.

my girlfriend has been great, she's been a good friend for a few years and about 6 months ago we both found out we like each other...she knows about most of my past and says she okay with it because its not who i am now, but i feel like such a failure

I'm pretty paranoid swell and so panic about everything. like in all honest if any of the people id been with in the past said anything it could pretty much destroy my life i also get freaked out ill get arrested by the fuzz :/

i just feel like such a failure in every possible way and half the time wish there was an easy way out of it all, but i can't even bring myself to think of suiscide
   
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Re: I'm Such A Failure... - January 12th 2012, 06:23 AM

You said your entire family is religious. Are you?

Sure, you have made mistakes, but God is willing, even eager to forgive you for them, and he wouldn't want you to carry around guilt from your past. Sounds like your current girlfriend forgives you already. Try to think about the future, and how you would like to do things differently, and the person you want to become rather than the person you were. You can't change the past, but your past doesn't have to define you, either.


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Re: I'm Such A Failure... - January 13th 2012, 05:42 PM

Just because your family is religious doesn't mean you have to be. And If you are in college, you most definitely are not a screw up. <3
Everyone makes mistakes. It happens.
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