What do I do ?

[MadaLynn81]

I don't know what to do .. I probably won't even explain this right .. Well , I go to a counselor , && they said I was depressed , but they weren't gonna put me on medicine unless i felt like i needed to be on it .. && I didn't really know what to think so I said no because I didn't wanna be on medicine && didn't think I needed it , but , I feel like it's gotten a lot worse ... I don't know what to do .. I don't wanna do anything but sit in my room , I don't even wanna text people .. && I don't really talk to anyone when i'm at home && could go all day without talking to anyone .. I start randomly crying .. && i just feel disconnected from everyone else .. Kinda like i'm just existing , not living .. It worries me , my suicide thoughts are back .. Today , I figured out how I would do it && decided to do it on a weekend && even thought how I would word my letters to certain people .. I'm usually good at hiding my feelings , but it's getting harder to do that .. I'm trying to stop cutting , but , I wanna do it so bad .. I feel like medication might be what I need but , then that just shows how messed up I am .. I wanna believe I can just push through this , but I can't .. I know I can't .. The longer I let myself hurt , the more i'll cut && the more i'll wanna commit sucicide .. I hate myself ... I wanna tell someone .. I wanna tell my counselor , but I need to admit it to someone like my aunt , but I don't want her to tell && whenever i tell the counselor i don't wanna tell her about me cutting , she'll HAVE to tell my grandma ... What do I do ??

[Unfortunate]

Madalynn, You should tell your counsellor you want to go on medication. It really will help you. I know its hard to talk to a counsellor about all of this, but it will help in the long run. If it helps tell someone else like a school counsellor or a trusted adult. They can help you figure out how to tell your counsellor if you'd like them to. I go to a counsellor and i got put on medication, it has helped tons.

As for you wanting to cut you should look at the Sticky for self harm alteratives. In the Self harm section. They help when you need something to distract you when you want to cut.
I hope you tell your counsellor. Best of luck. You can tell someone.
I hope this helped. <3 If you need advice, don't hesitate to PM me.
Dionna

[MadaLynn81]

Thanks (: That's what i'm gonna do .. Thanks soo much (:

[Unfortunate]

Your welcome. Im glad i could help. Good luck! Im here anytime if you need.

Dionna

[Whisperingwillow]

MadaLynn I'm here for you too if you need. Message me anytime and I'll answer as soon as I can.

[MadaLynn81]

Thanks ! I accidentally slipped up && told my gma but i had too .. I'm going to my counselor Thursday , but I still have suicidal thougts && have been cutting .. I cut before I got on here to tell the truth ...