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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Solivagant Offline
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3 questions...please reply! - January 20th 2012, 12:11 PM

Okay a small briefing before I ask them. I started going to my school counselor before Christmas, and she encouraged me to talk my brother, have a chat about the situation with parents because I tend to see things from my mom's point of view (well, yeah I do). Talking to him will help me see another side of things. So I did that this week, and well, I got to see another possibility that even though dad is a weak person and all, he cares, This drove me mad, it was against everything I have ever known and believed. I hate him, and incidents to prove why this is not possible were flying in my head. When I saw dad, this ran through my mind and I pushed it back. I stopped going to the counselor. I found it much easier to drown in the misery than to confront things. And getting better scares me. Then yesterday, mom took away my laptop and threatened to take away my novels, I got some horrible comments from her, she was upset actually with some other things and it came out on me a little. I broke down after that. I started cutting again. I cut on my wrist a little too. I wasn't able to study and I have a science exam on Monday. And I can't screw that. Its an important test. And finals start in a month. The way I'd been all week, unable to study, it got me scared. I feared myself. What with cutting on the wrist and screwing my studies hence my life and all. I broke down in the evening. Started crying and couldn't stop. It got louder and louder, mum saw, It got to the point that I started screaming and pulling my hair. I don't know why. It just did.
Yeah so, end result, I told my mum that I want a counselor. She is cool about it, like I knew she would be. She is supportive. I even told her about TH. She is fine with it, and has allowed me to come here whenever I want, she promised she won't ask me what I am doing here till I am comfortable telling her about it.
Here are the 3 questions-
1. I sometimes wonder if I really do need professional help. Its not like I went through very horrible things.I just try to make through the day sometimes by telling myself lies that I don't believe(Recent discovery). I don't even know why I feel the way I do. Its just this hollow empty feeling. I don't know why it is there. It just has been there ever since I can remember. Do I need help? Or is it just me being stupid? Sometimes I feel like I am making myself believe that I need help. Why I do that I don't know.
2. I am afraid to get better. Like after that chat with bro, I had this getting better typo different feeling. It scared the hell outta me and made me run away like hell. That and being a coward, not wanting to confront the situation. Its a totally foreign feeling, getting better and all. I've not known it for more than a decade now. And its scary. I am afraid of it and want to run away from it. And sometimes I think that if I get better I'll become a bitch and won't be able to understand people here that well.
3. Which type of professional should I go for? I have some unresolved issues with my past. Not many. just one or two. Sometimes I don't even know why they are so unresolved. I accept so many things, it happened yeah and it made me me (Maybe I am lying again. I dunno). And I have trouble in socializing. I won't even go to a neighbouring class, I feel uncomfortable with 40 people looking at me. Well most won't even notice that I came. But still.

"Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it."

-Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Last edited by Solivagant; January 20th 2012 at 12:50 PM.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Dream Offline
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Re: 3 questions...please reply! - January 20th 2012, 08:09 PM

1. You might need professional help and you might not. Really, it is up to you. There are other things you can do. Exercise tends to help with negative feelings, more so than any drugs could. Just taking care of yourself in general helps too. You should also try new things as well and have some fun, things outside of school. I was totally miserable in high school because all I did was go to school and go home and never did anything else, so it would be good if you could go meet people and do things somewhere else, if possible.

2. The reason you are afraid to get better is that even if you don't like how you are feeling, you are still comfortable in your current state. Once you get used to behaving and living a certain way, you become comfortable with it even if it is not good for you and you will naturally resist change. It is normal to be afraid of "getting better".

3. If you do see a professional, you're going to want to see a psychologist (or perhaps a social worker who specializes in counseling). I don't recommend a psychiatrist unless absolutely necessary because the drugs they give you are horrible most of the time. I had a really bad experience with psychiatry. Psychologists just talk to you and try to help you sort through your issues with therapy (like cognitive behavioral therapy), and psychiatrists give you drugs but don't talk much, in case you aren't familiar.

Feel free to PM me for any reason. Take care.

  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Thumbs up 3 questions...please reply! - January 21st 2012, 06:33 AM

1) Because you cut, you need help, and even if it was only that one time, something serious is and has been evolving in you for quite some time now. The hard part now is admiting and accepting help.

2a) I have been where you are. First there is no shame in getting help. Honestly, I believe that EVERYBODY needs it these days because this is a f***ed up world we live in, and even if you have lived the "perfect" life (wich is only a myth for the majorly over sheltered kids) you could still have issues that require help. It could be heridetary, things unresolved that you think are resolved (honestly like my mom beating me in 2010. I've been hostile toward her this whole time, and I thought I was over it, but newly learned, I'm not even close.), or as my dad would say just being a TEENAGER! You may struggle now, but when the raging hormones cool down we will both will feel so much better! Many things like that I was convinced I was over even from 11-12 years ago that I still hold on to.

2b) I received help 3 times inpatient and countless outpatient (therepy...still), and my first inpatient treatment I lied my way out; the second I nearly died on anerixoa and bulimea; and the third I broke down countless times, freaked out like hard core, and felt like I was dieing because getting better was so F***ING hard. I am still not okay, and some say I will struggle with all this self harm and crap till the day I die. I am telling the truth because I can relate so much better now that the rain cloud over my head has gotten increadibly smaller, and I can tell you are smart and can get through this. It'll probably be easier for you than it was me because I sat where you are for 7-8 years and made countless sucide attempts and filayed my arm with marks that will never go away.

3) The type of help needed would very, and I regret to inform you that I cannot answer this question for you. From here the best I can advise is to get or keep a close relationship with God the Savior and go to Vista, Springwoods, Habborton... or just where ever you and your family decide and get evaluated, and they will be able to tell you the best steps to take from there.

I hope and pray that you will get better, although I can promise you that whatever you do from here, it will be hell... I wish you the best of luck, and hope you deal with things better than I did!

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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Ambedo. Offline
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Re: 3 questions...please reply! - January 21st 2012, 07:15 AM

1. If you feel like you will benefit from professional help, then go for it. You don't have to go through a traumatic event to be entitled to see a counselor. Having an unbiased person to listen to what you have to say and to guide you on the right paths can be such a helpful thing. Personally, I would encourage you to try it at least once, especially because your mom is so supportive.

2.I'm in the same place. I'm going to tell you what my counselor said to me at my last session. She is a stopping block. I'm so used to the pain and my unhealthy ways of dealing with it that I constantly run back to that. Why? Because I don't know anything besides that and the prospect of moving forward into a healthier place is terrifying because we don't know what it looks like. I feel like this is the same fear that you are having. Again, seeking professional help is one of the best ways to go about that. My counselor is helping to guide me through that at my pace. Having someone to help you with that will ultimately help you to heal.

3. Just seek the help of a regular counselor for now. If needed, they can refer you to another doctor who they think might be able to help you better. But, for now, just go to someone who will listen to you and help guide you down the right paths.

Shoot me a message if you have any other questions, alright?

wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: 3 questions...please reply! - January 23rd 2012, 03:18 PM

1) I don't think you need professional help, I think you feel hollow because you haven't found something that defines who you are. It could be a hobby, a subject in school, a goal, … anything that really defines you. Something that wakes you up early and keeps you up late!

2) I don't think you will become a bitch. Because you know pain. Pain is an awful thing. We don't like it because its, well… painful! … Knowing that pain, that feeling, we don't want to ever experience it again. And that feeling is the reason we don't inflict pain on others. Knowing pain, will make you nice to people because you don't want them to feel pain…

3) Do you remember what you liked when you where 10? it's probably a little different than what you like now? It's the same with jobs. Nobody will know for sure what profession you should go for. The idea is, look at what you like doing, and try something in that domain. Don't see it as "I'm going to do this, and its the end of it" you can always change jobs. Some people who have had the same job for 20 years, change over because they don't like it anymore. Its your life, you can control it! So don't think that what you choose now, is what you'll be doing later.
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