Triggering: Im not allowed to be free

[iwannabeme]

I hate having people tell me im not good enough because i cant live up to their expectations, im not even allowed to have fun! i cant leave my house ecept school , i cant go to friends house but thats not a problem anymore because i dont have any friends i dont know what to do i used to cut but my bf threatened to break up with me if i ever smoked, drank, or cut again:/ they were outlets, but he added more pressure by thereatening to leave:/ hes all i have left im not even allowed to see my family because they screamed at me while i had a panic attack and now my mom forbids me seeing them i need help because no one understands that i just want to be myself, but everyone is too concerned about themselves to help ME can anyone give me advice?

[HayleeBoo]

awwwe I know how you feel. I have panic attacks basically every night and because of me telling one person it got around school and now I'm known as the school's freak My family is basically the same way and now I'm not even sure I have a boyfriend...

I know how it feels to be tempted to cut again, but it's not going to make matters any better. With the pressure from your boyfriend, talk to him about it... that's really the only thing you can do.

Try to make new friends, before you know it you will be able to move out and not have to deal with your family not letting you do anything.

If you want to express how you really feel and who you really are I'd probably recommend doing something like drawing/sketching/painting. You can show how you feel and who you are threw it. Also by writing stories or poems. That's what I do atleased... Find a hobby or something to do to keep past time and you wont feel lonely

Also try talking to your mom about it. Tell her how you feel.

I'm allways here to talk if you need a friend Hope you're fine, and hang in there, after something goes wrong it allways turns around and gets all happy again... it just takes time.

[Colors Leave Me Blind]

Im really sorry you are feeling like this and being treated this way. Can you maybe talk to a school counselor? It might be your best bet since your family doesn't seem to care very much. im really sorry you are being treated this way. No one deserves to. And your boyfriend needs to understand that those things you listed are addicting and its really super hard to quit cold turkey if youve been doing it for quite some time. But if you need anyone to talk to, feel really to message me. Im here for you hun. <3

[iwannabeme]

thanks, and i used to cut for about2 years the last time i cut was about a month ago and thats becausr my mom made me feel irrelevant in my own home amd shes always screaming at my stepdad anc theres ni way to drown out the yelling:/ i tried talking to my noyfriend but he got more mad when i talked to him about it ... theres alot of things i cant tell him:/

[Colors Leave Me Blind]

then if you cant tell him a lot of things do you think its a healthy relationship? You need to be able to communicate with your significant other.

[iwannabeme]

i love him i really do , but weve been through so much for a long time and i dont wanna let him go because hes the only one who really KNOWS me but he doesnt accept me

[HayleeBoo]

I hate to say it, but if he doesn't accept you, then he's not right for you