Triggering (Suicide): I hate this

[OhsugarzZ]

I hate where I am in life. I was supposed to be the "good" one. The one who graduated college. I have no one to talk to. No friends. I went to the hospital today because my anxiety was through the roof and I was so anxious I left. (felt a bit like super woman ninja dodging all the nurses lol). I feel so empty inside, but ZI QUICK to go help someone else. I hate myself so much. So, so much. I wish I were dead, I really do. I wish a truck cam and hit me or I slip into the road and a car crashes me or anything. I can't take any pills because I don't have e any. I sleep all day (and night). I lost my job, school, friends, everything I had - why? Because of this fucked up depression shit I'm in. I'm diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Dissociation Identity Disorder, Major Depression Disorder and all these other medical crap that I don't even know. I go on crisischat.org sometimes, but they're not there all the time (like right now) when I need them and this is just way too hard. Way too fucking hard. I can't do this anymore. I can't disappoint my mom and see the sadness in her eyes. If I leave, I won't have to be here; cowardly move, I know, but it's how I feel. I don't even know why I'm ranting.. whatever.

Goodbye.

[tracey1212]

i know how you feel. i am in the same boat. i am away at college and i feel left out of life. i dont want to do it because i know that i may disapoint all of the people that i trust or that i ahevpromised that i wont do anything, but i know exactally how hard it can be. i am trying to talk myself out of doing it right now, because i feel like if i do i will be out of here. i know that you feel this way and i am not sure what you have been through, but IM me if you want to discuss it, or add me on yahoo messanger: tracey.aldrich@yahoo.com i will be glad to talk to you because i feel as long as i am talking to someone else i am sparing my time on earth, and if i can help someone out that will amke me feel better. so PM me or add me