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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Question I need some advice on a feeling I have - January 24th 2012, 12:11 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Okay, this is kind of awkward, so I'll just start by saying that this is NOT urgent. I'm really not at suicide risk; I just wanted a little bit of advice about how I'm feeling.

So I don't want to live. BUT, I can't kill myself, because I know it's just not a practical thing to do. It would upset people, and I just can't get my head around it. But that doesn't change the fact, that I really don't want to live.

I don't want to not want to live, because that makes me feel crazy. I'm not depressed or anything, because I don't have any other symptoms of any mental illnesses. I mean today was a great day, I enjoyed my dance class, I had a great band, ate right, et cetera. All those stupid little things made it a good day, and that's how I know I'm not depressed. But I can't shake the thought of how convenient it'd be to not live.

I mean yeah, there are plenty of nice things in my life, but none of them really worth hanging around for, you know? And I'm an ass for saying that, because my mother and people really do care. Killing myself would be just as awful a thing to do as killing my sister - it would affect people the same. I mean who does that? And knowing that I would even consider it makes me feel fucking awful, which makes me want to live less. Sorry if that made no sense - it's kind of like a cycle.

So basically, I just want help as to how to get rid of this nonsensical feeling ON MY OWN. Keep in mind I have no intention of killing myself right now, so now worries.
(I apologize if none of that made any sense)
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Re: I need some advice on a feeling I have - January 24th 2012, 01:24 AM

You don't have to be depressed to feel like you want to die. I mean, if every time someone felt they automatically got the diagnosis "depression" then hell, the whole world would be depressed. And to want to kill yourself, you don't have to have a justification as why. It happens to the best of us. And even on good days, its okay. And for you to say you won't do it because it's not the practical thing to do is a huge step if you ever attempted or thought of it before. I'm glad you are not going to attempt, and yes, I do understand how you are feeling. I wish I could come up with the right words for you to justify how you are feeling, but I thought I would let you know that I do understand. <3 here if you need to talk. (:

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Smile Re: I need some advice on a feeling I have - January 24th 2012, 04:55 AM

i feel the same way! im not depressed but i think anout suicide all the time i know that i wont acctually go throu with it because it would hurt my friends and family to much but the thoughts of suicide just wont go away! i always think about how much easier it would be just to end it all i wish those thoughts would go away but at least im not the only one like this
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