Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Feeling Horrible.

[George^^]

I feel like a piece of shit. My mom's angry at me. She just came into my room and lectured me. Lectured me on forgetting the dishes, and shit. She doesn't get it. I'm never perfect enough for her. There is always something I could be doing better. She's complaining and I can hear her, and I just feel like shit. I will never. Ever. be perfect enough for anyone.

I fight to keep my grades on top, I fight to not be a whiny crying mess, I fight my hardest not to need anyone because no one needs me.

It's so stressful trying to keep my grades up all the time. I'm slipping. My last two work sheets for math just keep getting worse. I don't get why I give a shit, I'll never reach for my dreams of being a writer when I still seem like an english second language person (news flash! I only speak english!)

It doesn't work, because here I am, crying, whinying, online. No matter how much I try, I'll never be able to detatch myself from people that won't hurt me. I just... I'm weak.

I just need someone to tell me that it's okay. That it's all okay. But no one can because nothing is ever okay.

[cuttergirl17]

Hey George, its sounds like u and me have a lot of the same feelings. My parents yell at me every time I do one little thing wrong n so I'm fighting all the time to be as perfect as I can be. When I get a a- they asked why I didn't get an a, they don't care if everyone else failed n I did the best because it still isn't good enough. I've been under so much shit n over the past few months it has caused me to start cutting and having suicidal thoughts. All I can so is look forward to the future and look forward to all the things I want in life. I too want to be a writer and people tell me. Won't be able to do it, well I want to prove them wrong and in order to do that I must live I have to make everything ok... I think u and I should talk so please pm me or add me on skype..alnshessogone everything will be ok

[George^^]

Thanks for the comment. I haven't been hassled that bad, But if I get bad grades, I try to hide it... (Ah. Wrong thing, not that a- is a bad grade, it's better than I'm doing in math!) ^^ Go for it. I don't think I can do it because I can't seem to write good enough.

^^' Truth be it, I am a fickle person when it comes to feelings (Like I change fast, and it's the littlest things), and my mom bought ice cream (and chocolate sauce) and I was like "Forget you being bitchy! This is fucking awesome!" .... My mom doesn't buy ice cream a whole lot because she's diabetic :P

[minniemouseprincess]

It IS okay George. Someday, things won't be this way. They will be better. You will be out of that house someday so mom cant yell at you. Someday you'll get better grades. Someday you will have people in your life (not just online) that treat you better. But please remember, every moment of your life, there is someone who cares about you and loves you. Whether you are aware of it or not. There's still someone. You aren't weak. You are just going through hard times. When people go through hard times, that doesn't make them weak.