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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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i cant - February 3rd 2012, 04:33 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i love you all for everything you guys have done for me...

but i think i should end my life tonight
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Re: i cant - February 3rd 2012, 01:13 PM

Drew,

We're all here to talk to you and help you through whatever's going on. Suicide is not the answer, keep fighting and you'll get through it.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i cant - February 3rd 2012, 02:01 PM

Hey bud.

Talk to us. What's wrong? And remember, you've gotten this far...don't give up now!


Chris
You can always contact me to talk about anything!
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Need a hug? Please take one!

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last updated on 11/11/17
   
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Re: i cant - February 3rd 2012, 07:13 PM

Hey,

I know we've never talked before but it does get better! Just hang in there. What's making you feel like you want to commit suicide? Talking it out, helps. I believe that you can get through this, please don't give up. Life might suck right now, but if you keep holding on, life is a beautiful gift.


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
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Re: i cant - February 3rd 2012, 08:32 PM

Hey. I know exactly how you feel. It hurts, I know it does. But even though things suck right now (I know, it's the same way for me!) things WILL get better. You will be happy. Please PM me if you want to talk And remember, whatever this is, even though you are going through hell right now, things will get better. This is not worth dying for.


You believe there's somewhere else
Where it's easier than this
And you see outside yourself
And you buy the hole you'll fill
-Foo Fighters
   
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Re: i cant - February 3rd 2012, 10:55 PM

Please don't, Drew. Please.
   
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Re: i cant - February 3rd 2012, 11:11 PM

DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE. EVER. i'm really worried about this one girl over the weekend already, don't make me have to worry about you! even tho ur a stranger, i still care. message me if you need any thing, i've had to deal with these thoughts before. i know how to handle it.


We...are not alone. Not until we choose to be. Choose your fate. Defy life and become your own. Don't conform.

   
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Re: i cant - February 6th 2012, 03:56 AM

i have my plan...[Edited by Loving Linux Penguin]

Last edited by Loving Linux Penguin; February 12th 2012 at 03:35 AM. Reason: triggering
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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i cant - February 6th 2012, 04:04 AM

Drew,
Please don't sweetie!! I care so much about you. You are worth so much. And you have made it so far. There;s so much in life for you to live for. Please try to distract yourself. You can get past this. Please keep trying! <3





From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
  Send a message via Skype™ to Lumos. 
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Re: i cant - February 6th 2012, 04:05 AM

No Drew... Please You can't give up now
   
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Re: i cant - February 9th 2012, 02:43 AM

I know it seems hard sometimes, but please don't do anything to hurt yourself; I'm going through the same things as you. Maybe we can get through it together. I know i don't know you, but the thought of you ending your life breaks my heart. we're all here for you and even if it seems like no one cares i promise they do. I hope you make the right decision and i cant garuntee you everythings gonna get better soon, but i promise you it will get better. Please don't do anything to harm yourself.
   
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Re: i cant - February 9th 2012, 02:56 AM

In most cases a suicide victim was only crying out for help, and the people left behind are only left to wonder why they never asked beofre. All of us are here to help you get through this, and I'm willing to bet everyone here is here because they too have been through some hard times and were looking for help and answers (including me) We're here and and believe it or not you are worth something to all of us. Talk it out we're here to listen


<3 RAWR<3
   
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Re: i cant - February 9th 2012, 04:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unfortunate View Post
Drew,
Please don't sweetie!! I care so much about you. You are worth so much. And you have made it so far. There;s so much in life for you to live for. Please try to distract yourself. You can get past this. Please keep trying! <3
i know u do hun...but the walls are closing in..and i cant breathe

im just done
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Re: i cant - February 9th 2012, 04:55 AM

Dionna is right Drew, you need to stay for the people in your life. They would feel SO terrible if you left. Remember we talked about this in the chat room? I know it feels awful and sucks right now. But it won't be this way forever. In 10 years, your life will have changed. Heck, your life could change in 2. There's no way of knowing.


   
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Re: i cant - February 10th 2012, 04:16 AM

I know every thing seems so hard right now sweetie. Just take deep breaths, distract yourself. If you need me you can always PM me. <3





From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
  Send a message via Skype™ to Lumos. 
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Re: i cant - February 11th 2012, 07:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by minniemouseprincess View Post
Dionna is right Drew, you need to stay for the people in your life. They would feel SO terrible if you left. Remember we talked about this in the chat room? I know it feels awful and sucks right now. But it won't be this way forever. In 10 years, your life will have changed. Heck, your life could change in 2. There's no way of knowing.

i know julia...but i dont know..my father once coldly told me that i didnt count..and to this very day i still believe him...

sometimes i honestly think that everyone is just wasting their time on someome who doesnt really matter

i dont think i matter to anyone...
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Re: i cant - February 11th 2012, 08:39 AM

Trust me, you DO matter.
Please don't do anything rash. People really get broken up by suicide, and if you can't stay alive for yourself, at least try for everybody else. Just look at what happened with some people and Peter, we don't want that to happen with you too.
I'm always here if you want to talk ok? Hang in there, I know its hard, but you can pull through. I promise.


1/7/12 - Live Help Operator | 1/25/14 - HelpLINK Mentor | 6/8/14 - Depression and Suicide Forum Moderator | 6/8/14 - Addictive Behaviors Forum Moderator | 1/11/14 - Videos Team Member | 4/11/15 - Senior Live Help Operator

I will be generous with my love today. I will sprinkle compliments and uplifting words everywhere I go. I will do this knowing that my words are like seeds and when they fall on fertile soil, a reflection of those seeds will grow into something greater.

PM / VM




   
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Re: i cant - February 12th 2012, 03:19 AM

Drew,
You matter to me so much. It wasnt right of your dad to tell you that. No one is wasting their time, you are amazing. Love you. <3





From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
  Send a message via Skype™ to Lumos. 
  (#19 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i cant - February 12th 2012, 03:59 AM

Hey Drew,


We all really care about you and you committing suicide would affect us all.
Please Drew, don't kill yourself tonight, you matter and are an important part of so many people's lives.
I know that it is hard for you to see, but it is definitely true. I've been there at that point where I think to myself "it won't matter", "No one cares.", "I can just do it and won't hurt anyone."
That is your mind and feelings messing with you, don't give in to those thoughts, they are wrong and terrible.
Try talking to someone, call a [hotline, try watching something that amuses you or makes you happy, listen to some positive music, talk to your family if that is a possibility or call a friend and see about hanging out in the near future.
Create a list of reasons you should live (there are many.) Like the list here.
Use some of those as encouragement and create a list of your own then put it somewhere you can see it so that you can look at it for strength and hope to continue to live on.
I really hope this helps and you can message me any time you need someone or just a place to vent, I always will reply and be here for you.
Stay safe and remember we all care about you very very much and you are an important person.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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Re: i cant - February 12th 2012, 04:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Miss You View Post
i know julia...but i dont know..my father once coldly told me that i didnt count..and to this very day i still believe him...

sometimes i honestly think that everyone is just wasting their time on someome who doesnt really matter

i dont think i matter to anyone...
He was a jerk to say that and he was as wrong as can be. You DO matter. If your dad said that about you, dad doesn't know what he's talking about.


   
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Re: i cant - February 12th 2012, 05:11 AM

Hey Drew,

Everyone in this world is put on this world for a purpose. You were too. You ARE important, weather you know it or not it IS true.

I don't know your story, yet I know that if you've been through something you could help others through it too if you'd like. Also, if you end your life now you may just miss the highlight of your life. Something could come along and change your whole life. Please don't ruin that chance. Don't end your life, EVER.



If you ever need a friend, someone to talk to, someone to listen. Talk to me.


Don't let anyone say you're not beautiful, stay true to you!
   
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Re: i cant - February 12th 2012, 05:12 AM

I know I was little late responding, I hope I helped either way.


Don't let anyone say you're not beautiful, stay true to you!
   
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Re: i cant - February 15th 2012, 06:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unfortunate View Post
Drew,
You matter to me so much. It wasnt right of your dad to tell you that. No one is wasting their time, you are amazing. Love you. <3

why...what for unfortnate....there is nothing good about me....
i have struggled for such a long time now...


i think its time i gave up
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Re: i cant - February 15th 2012, 06:52 AM

We all have struggled for a long time and we are all still making it. You can too Drew. You said drew you want to save a life but you cant do that if your dead. Please call 911 if your suicidal or a teen help line. I have struggled a long time too and wanted to die a few times but look Im still here. I even one time was suicidal so I drove my self to a mental hospital. They told me since I dont have a plan then Im not at risk for killing my self and was not admitted. But I have been in a mental hostipal in patient before. Its not a bad place to be it does not mean your crazy. If you have to drive your self to a mental hospital then do it. Is it hard yes but it is possible for you drew and everyone.

Please look into seeing a therapist if you do not already have one. You want to get better I hear drew you dont want to be depressed any more. Then do something about it see a therapist so you can start healing. You dont have to deal with this depression you can be happy again if you just seek out a therapist.

We ALL care here. Im sure your main care giver cares about you too and would be really sad if you died. People that bring you down dont listen to them there not worth it. You are something. You are more than what people tell you. Please do NOT kill your self.
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Re: i cant - February 17th 2012, 04:55 AM

actually...i have been to thearpy before...
5 differnt ones in 5 years...
and that was before all the bad things happened to me

no one in my family know that i self harm...

its like im losing a private battle that i just cant win..and im so tired of fighting...

im done
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Re: i cant - February 17th 2012, 02:20 PM

Drew,
Why did you stop going to therapy? I know your tired of this, but you can get through this. Have you tried talking to a family member about any of this?
I love you. Please keep your head up.





From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
  Send a message via Skype™ to Lumos. 
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Re: i cant - February 18th 2012, 03:50 AM

My parents dont know either. Your not alone drew Im sorry you have not found a good therapist yet. I understand its hard I have met a lot of bad therapist that really hurt me }: I dont have one for right now. I read another post that you commented on drew and you sounded like you were doing okay. Hope you still are hugss.
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Re: i cant - February 18th 2012, 01:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Miss You View Post
actually...i have been to thearpy before...
5 differnt ones in 5 years...
and that was before all the bad things happened to me

no one in my family know that i self harm...

its like im losing a private battle that i just cant win..and im so tired of fighting...
You went before the bad things happened. Why didn't you go after they happened? Therapy will help you a lot Drew.
You have already won Drew. You made it this far. You're a winner. Don't give up at this point. This is where things start to become better.
I have 3 words for you and tremendous amount of faith in you- YES, YOU CAN!!
You can make it Drew, you can stay alive and be happy. You don't deserve any sadness in the world. Rise above those who think you do. Kill their ignorance with your kindness, you're very close to doing it.
I am here for you, I hope you know that



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-Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
   
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Re: i cant - February 21st 2012, 05:17 AM

i went to thearpy because i was bullied for 8 years..and i tried to kill myself when i was thirteen....

the last time i went was group thearpy...but after something like two sessions..i quit....and after that i moved away

i just feel that im slipping further and further away...i think its time i disappear..its time that i kill myself
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Re: i cant - February 21st 2012, 11:32 PM

Please dont life will not always be this way. Life will not always be perfect or easy. We all have to deal with bad hard times you just have to learn to cope during those bad times. Lean on friends, family or a therapist. Find a therapist again if you want have your parents help you out with finding one. Huggssss

This website below will tell you why to live when you feel like dying please check it out. Its really a good link read it please. You dont need to die there is some good things in life its not all bad.

http://suicide.com/suicidecrisiscenter/whylive.html
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Re: i cant - February 22nd 2012, 02:47 AM

Drew you can do this. Please hold on. Your life is worth living, there are so many good thinks in life. I love you so much. Please stay with me.





From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
  Send a message via Skype™ to Lumos. 
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Re: i cant - February 22nd 2012, 04:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unfortunate View Post
Drew you can do this. Please hold on. Your life is worth living, there are so many good thinks in life. I love you so much. Please stay with me.

*crying*i dont know if i can...

i love you too..

you shouldnt worry about me...

*hears the train*
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Re: i cant - February 22nd 2012, 08:25 PM

Drew, please don't kill yourself. I don't know you in person and I don't think we've even talked on the forums, but please try to hold on. So many people love you. You've helped so many people on TH and I know all of us here would miss you so much. Maybe you don't think that life is worth living right now, but it takes only a minute for that to change. It is impossible to know when that will be, but things WILL change. I believe in you. You've stayed strong for a long time; I know you can hold on a little bit longer until things turn around. You can do it.

Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk


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Exclamation Re: i cant - February 22nd 2012, 08:44 PM

in the dark it's hard to see
but do not leave, stay here with me

there's so much we could do
we could bring hope to this troubled place

don't make these tears fall down my fearful face

because without my friend I would be alone

without you we would be lost at sea

we each hold the blessed world in out hands
we each have some life to give
do not give up on yours



Please don't give up. You are so special. You may not believe me but you are. I love you and so does everyone on this site. You are unique you are special.


flower
hello my heart where have you been
I missed you when you left
you ran away with that senseless boy
and left me dim and dry
like a faded flower in the mist

Come back my heart. you have a home here
In this place that is my soul
I want to feel like whole again. don't waste your time with him

Have faith my heart. You'll get a second chance
come back to me and you will not be alone
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Re: i cant - February 22nd 2012, 08:59 PM

I know i just replied but I thought of some other stuff.

If you think back to your time on teen help. I mean all the people you inspired to not give up and all the people who look up to you, (myself included) you will notice you are a pretty amazing person. at least I think you are. You have touched people and you've touched their hearts. I cannot imagine anything worse than loosing an important person like you. Think of all the people in the future that wont get the support they need and think of all the people that will be grieving for your loss. Please don't leave. You are too vital.


flower
hello my heart where have you been
I missed you when you left
you ran away with that senseless boy
and left me dim and dry
like a faded flower in the mist

Come back my heart. you have a home here
In this place that is my soul
I want to feel like whole again. don't waste your time with him

Have faith my heart. You'll get a second chance
come back to me and you will not be alone
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Re: i cant - February 24th 2012, 04:34 AM

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Originally Posted by Tigereyes View Post
Drew, please don't kill yourself. I don't know you in person and I don't think we've even talked on the forums, but please try to hold on. So many people love you. You've helped so many people on TH and I know all of us here would miss you so much. Maybe you don't think that life is worth living right now, but it takes only a minute for that to change. It is impossible to know when that will be, but things WILL change. I believe in you. You've stayed strong for a long time; I know you can hold on a little bit longer until things turn around. You can do it.

Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk

i dont help anyone here...

how could anyone love me
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Re: i cant - February 24th 2012, 04:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by will was here View Post
I know i just replied but I thought of some other stuff.

If you think back to your time on teen help. I mean all the people you inspired to not give up and all the people who look up to you, (myself included) you will notice you are a pretty amazing person. at least I think you are. You have touched people and you've touched their hearts. I cannot imagine anything worse than loosing an important person like you. Think of all the people in the future that wont get the support they need and think of all the people that will be grieving for your loss. Please don't leave. You are too vital.
i havent inspired anyone here....i havent touched anyone

i think people would move on without me..im not amazing...
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Re: i cant - February 24th 2012, 06:07 AM

You help me. You give me hope. You would be missed, I wouldn't move on. Neither would a lot of other people. People DO care about you, look at all your responses. Everyone that has responded to any of your threads care about you! Committing suicide doesn't solve much. It just makes everyone around you sadder and you have absolutely no idea what happens after death. For all you know, dying could be 100x worse than living. Please live out your life Drew. Get some help if you need it, there is nothing wrong with getting help and we all need it once in a while. Life IS worth living 100%. Even if you can't see it now, things CAN and WILL get better Stay Strong Drew <3 Stay Strong. If Russell is part of the reason you feel bad, forget about the past. You couldn't have done anything to stop it. He was old enough and he knew what he was getting into. Don't kill yourself over him. He would want you to be happy. You know he would. Remember Drew, life is worth living. Stay Strong.
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Re: i cant - February 26th 2012, 05:39 AM

and tomorrow being the anniversary of my aunts death....
its really not looking good for me

it hurts too much to stay...
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Re: i cant - February 26th 2012, 03:05 PM

There are always reasons to live. Life does get better. Stay Strong.
   
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