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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 05:31 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

and then proceed to spill the first thing that comes to their mind that is supportive, please stop putting on an act.

Reality is people don't care if someone dies, so why would you pretend to?
Clearly it's because you yourselves want to feel better for 'giving' to the community, supporting the local depressed slugs that slosh around in life wanting to die but not having the guts to do it. Do you realize what you're doing? It's a form of torture.
This torture is called hope. It's similar to the bible where fictional events give people scenarios to learn and set a lifestyle from. In the end it's still a carrot on a stick.

I also find it amusing how you people try to make a list of things they could enjoy. Clearly after 12+ years of living they've experienced enough to understand how shitty their social life and enjoyment in life is.

For people saying you can change your life to make you happy, it isn't what you do that makes you happy. It's how you look at the world that makes you happy. If you look at the world like it really is, a big waste of time full of lying and cheating and immoral acts, then you wouldn't be very happy either.


My question is why bother trolling the depressed people into thinking there's hope? Is it some kind of sick entertainment for the people who aren't mentally ailed with the reality of the universe?

Last edited by Loving Linux Penguin; February 4th 2012 at 03:47 AM. Reason: thread is triggering
   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 05:37 AM

I sometimes feel the same way. I feel at certain point, it's your life. From ehhh 13ish to old age, your life is yours do with what you will. If you haven't found something worth living for, being miserable for an extra year probably won't help.
   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 06:03 AM

Can you please explain to me how you know that nobody cares if people die or not? I personally DO care, a lot--which is why I'm on here. Suicide is a permanent solution to what is usually a temporary problem. It's as if you injured your leg, and it would heal in time...but instead of giving it the time to heal and become healthy again, you just removed it to save yourself the trouble of recovery. That's what suicide is...but involving your entire LIFE.

No. This is absolutely not "some kind of sick entertainment for the people who aren't mentally ailed with the reality of the universe". This is love. This is people wanting to make a difference in the lives of other people. This is people who believe that drastic solutions aren't logical or morally right. And that makes sense when you think about it. Again, if you injure your leg, and then amputate it when it could heal in time, does that make any sense at all?


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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 06:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Loving Linux Penguin View Post
Can you please explain to me how you know that nobody cares if people die or not? I personally DO care, a lot--which is why I'm on here. Suicide is a permanent solution to what is usually a temporary problem. It's as if you injured your leg, and it would heal in time...but instead of giving it the time to heal and become healthy again, you just removed it to save yourself the trouble of recovery. That's what suicide is...but involving your entire LIFE.

This is love. This is people wanting to make a difference in the lives of other people. This is people who believe that drastic solutions aren't logical or morally right. And that makes sense when you think about it. Again, if you injure your leg, and then amputate it when it could heal in time, does that make any sense at all?
The two bolded texts solidify the evidence that you are helping people for self-fulfillment. You only care so you can feel like you made a difference in the end of the day, no matter how amateur the help was or how inaccurate.

As for overall unhappiness being due to a 'temporary' thing, that is a pretty sloppy generalization of the possibilities of why someone could be unhappy in their life.

I for one have never had a day in my life where there hasn't at least been cynical thoughts. This isn't because of an imbalance in my thoughts, which I guess you would consider a 'permanent' issue. This is because I as a person naturally see the world differently than you do, which makes me much more unhappy. As a person with this kind of view, who cannot help it, what is the point of me pursuing my life when very few people on this planet would understand my reasoning.

It's similar to the idea that in a group of blue fish, the blue fish shun the lone fish that looks different. No matter what laws there are, or what people say (to look good) society will always shun the people who act, look, or think different. It's natural selection.
   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 06:24 AM

Of course helping others is for self fulfillment, but the only way said self fulfillment functions is the fact by which one knows that their actions have the potential to improve the lives of the people they are trying to help. It's a MUTUAL thing, which works both ways. It's in a way like a cycle: a person may be feeling down about themselves, they help someone else who is in a similar position, the other person gets some benefit from this and may start feeling better, the original person therefore gets some empathetic and self esteem benefit from this. That's why people often recommend volunteering or otherwise giving back when people are in a bad state or have low self esteem--making a positive impact on someone else is not only good for the other person, but the person who is making that positive impact in the first place.


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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 06:39 AM

A negative person won't feel good for helping others. Believe me I used to be staff at teenhelp and I never once felt good when helping people. In the end I knew it was a selfish act and the people who I 'helped' were going to either change or stay the same whether I 'helped' them or not.

The only difference I made was clarifying their options in their life, which they should have known/had in the first place. And that is hardly anything to be proud of.
   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 12:03 PM

But for some people the talking in the support helps them....I mean even if it is some selfish act or entertainment, whatever u said it is, what if it actually saves someone...their are so many people who get help and then look what happens they ge over their problems and theynlive for the rest of their lives. But if we don't tr to help them well than they just kill or hurt themselves more....even if we tried to help n they lived for another year n than killed themselves at least we tried...if theirs even a chain we can save someone life shouldn't we take it?
   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 01:50 PM

I agree, Amanda.

Dervisher: well, I guess we disagree on that. I've had my rough passages, and you could say that for a while last year I was a "negative person". I still went on here on a regular basis, both getting help, and many times still helping other people too. And trust me, it wouldn't be fulfilling at all if I didn't think that what I was doing had potential to make someone's life better.


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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 02:54 PM

I want to add a lot more to this here in a while, but I'll leave you with this:

I work a full time job that's killing me. I hold a million and five positions (this forum not being one of them). I have a ton of issues myself. Oh, and I have to do it all on my phone because I lack wifi. Tell me. If I didn't care, why would I even make the effort to help? Because seriously, I could find other things to do with my time. But I choose to stick around and help. It might not help for you, but it helps for others. I always tell people a simple change in attitude would help. And in your case, it might. Just because you've been battling depression for a long time, doesn't mean any one who tries to help is a crock, doesn't know what they're talking about, trolling, giving false hope. And it doesn't mean it can't get better for you. This is an online site. Take our advice how you want. But don't even dare to accuse us of not actually caring until you know for sure.


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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 03:19 PM

I have to agree with Lynds.

I'm a full-time student and I spend a lot of time studying. I'm also Staff here and I do my best to help someone in need. I take offense to the fact that you think our advice isn't genuine and that we do it for our own selfish needs. Sure, it makes me feel good. But ultimately, if someone WANTS help, they're going to listen to our advice and that's all it takes sometimes.

Quote:
A negative person won't feel good for helping others.
Wrong. I'm a 'negative person'. I have depression, anxiety, and PTSD. So you can imagine how negative I really am. But I enjoy helping others. I look forward to making a difference in someone's life and if that makes me selfish, then so be it. Trust me. I'm not here for nothing. I genuinely care about the people on the site and if you don't, that's your own personal problem.

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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 03:44 PM

I totally agree with Lynds, Brittany and Chris. People DO care, you know. They are on TH because of that genuine care and concern only, and NOT for the so-called sick entertainment. Their efforts are not an act, trust me! Personally, even I like trying to help people, and sometimes what they need is someone to talk to, and NOT some professional. If you don't agree with this, well, your wish, but please don't blame people who are just trying to help others in every possible way.


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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 03:47 PM

I do not encourage nor do I discourage people when they are at a stage of suicide. My reason being is because it's their choice, not mine, if they give up and lose hope, then they give up and lose hope. However not everyone does give up and lose hope. I was once in a situation where I was thinking about suicide, where I hated just going on day by day but I pulled through because life has so much to offer. Life is a gift and curse, you are right dervisher, it all depends on how you see it.

There are ups and downs in life one feeling greater than another for some people. Helping someone turn their life around and giving them the opportunity to enjoy what life has to offer than that is worth trying in my eyes. I want a life where I get to help people, whether it's giving advice ans support to saving someone from a car wreck or to fighting for their freedoms.

I have been gifted and cursed with life, I have been gifted to look at life the way I do and I love it every single moment I continue to live it. I may not be perfect, I may not always help and I may end up harming someone, it's a shame but I'm only human. I have been gifted, I only see myself as selfish if I keep what I am able to do to myself. However, on the flip side, I feel the curse, I wouldn't mind leaving life, then I won't have to handle or deal with it anymore, but I choose to deal with it despite I am going to die one day, does it really matter if we try so hard to do something just to end up dying one day?

I think so, I think it's worth it because I can't see myself after death, I don't know what happens, I choose to search on how to live my life to the fullest, as far as I know, this is my only shot, this is all I truly know, might as well make the best of it.

Like I said you are correct, it all depends on how you look at it, you shared your view, I shared mine. Whether it's selfish or not to convince someone to live on with a new way of looking at life when they wanted to just give up- enjoying life is enjoying life.


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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 04:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dervisher View Post
and then proceed to spill the first thing that comes to their mind that is supportive, please stop putting on an act.

Reality is people don't care if someone dies, so why would you pretend to?
Clearly it's because you yourselves want to feel better for 'giving' to the community, supporting the local depressed slugs that slosh around in life wanting to die but not having the guts to do it. Do you realize what you're doing? It's a form of torture.
This torture is called hope. It's similar to the bible where fictional events give people scenarios to learn and set a lifestyle from. In the end it's still a carrot on a stick.

I also find it amusing how you people try to make a list of things they could enjoy. Clearly after 12+ years of living they've experienced enough to understand how shitty their social life and enjoyment in life is.

For people saying you can change your life to make you happy, it isn't what you do that makes you happy. It's how you look at the world that makes you happy. If you look at the world like it really is, a big waste of time full of lying and cheating and immoral acts, then you wouldn't be very happy either.


My question is why bother trolling the depressed people into thinking there's hope? Is it some kind of sick entertainment for the people who aren't mentally ailed with the reality of the universe?
Of course people care of other people die or not. Of course people you meet anonymously on a forum can only care so much, but that doesn't mean they don't care. Also, there are people in your real life who definitely do care whether or not you live.

I can't disprove that people give advice to feel good about themselves, but I will say that if people were truly self-absorbed, they could find other things to do besides try to help others.

Whats wrong with making a list of things you could enjoy?

The reality of the world is not all bad. I say that with a strong awareness of some of the most disturbing things that humans do on this planet. Society would completely break down without trust. There are people who lie, steal, cheat, etc., but for the most part, people are decent. You never see it though because we always emphasize the bad and also the bad is more prominent in our brains than the good is (as a matter of psychology- it's been studied).

I hope that whatever is bothering you gets better. Even if the world is a terrible place, which it is in many ways, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy being alive. I know it is hard though.



   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 05:03 PM

I know that I can only care so much, but after talking with all these people and getting to know them for months and some people years, you start to care a lot more than you think you ever would. You don't want to never be able to see the people that you love and care about again. If I'm selfish I don't care, and I am going to keep on doing what I'm doing. I also agree with Chris, Lynds, Brittany, and Mandy (Right?)
Just my input.

Another thing, the people here want help, thats why they're here. I don't know if this has any relevance, but I think I'll put it out there anyway.


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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 07:07 PM

As someone who has both contemplated and lost people to suicide I'm offended by this. The idea that people don't care is put in your mind by depression, it isn't true otherwise I whouldn't have spent months crying and completely DEVISTATED by the loss I'd suffered and I wouldn't bother spending my time and energy trying to prevent someone else from going through that kind of pain. We ask people to live, but not miserably. At the same time we can only do so much for people whether someone takes advice, chooses to get help, or not is up to them, there's only so much that a person can do for someone else.


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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 08:40 PM

I don't know what you're going through, so I won't judge the way you think about this. But I hope someday you can look at life in a different way, and look back and realize that you were wrong about this: there is hope. And the reason I tell people not to kill themselves is because I care about them and know how they feel, and I think they deserve to live. And so I try to help them see that. Because even though I have been suicidal- even yesterday- I believe that someday things will get better. And eventually I will have something to live for. And so will all the other people who make it past that moment- because even if you can't see the good things, it's temporary. Eventually those things will get better.


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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 09:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dervisher View Post
and then proceed to spill the first thing that comes to their mind that is supportive, please stop putting on an act.

Reality is people don't care if someone dies, so why would you pretend to?
Clearly it's because you yourselves want to feel better for 'giving' to the community, supporting the local depressed slugs that slosh around in life wanting to die but not having the guts to do it. Do you realize what you're doing? It's a form of torture.
This torture is called hope. It's similar to the bible where fictional events give people scenarios to learn and set a lifestyle from. In the end it's still a carrot on a stick.

I also find it amusing how you people try to make a list of things they could enjoy. Clearly after 12+ years of living they've experienced enough to understand how shitty their social life and enjoyment in life is.

For people saying you can change your life to make you happy, it isn't what you do that makes you happy. It's how you look at the world that makes you happy. If you look at the world like it really is, a big waste of time full of lying and cheating and immoral acts, then you wouldn't be very happy either.


My question is why bother trolling the depressed people into thinking there's hope? Is it some kind of sick entertainment for the people who aren't mentally ailed with the reality of the universe?
First, your idea about us not genuinely caring. It seems to me that you feel lonely and that nobody cares for you, so you believe that nobody cares for you at all without even noticing the people that do. Well, I'll admit that I don't know you, and I can't say that it doesn't make me feel good to help people who need it, but that's no reason to just ignore someone in need. And you also say that people really don't care for each other and our help is purely to gratify ourselves, but why do you think it makes us feel good to really help people, and besides, why do people do anything besides to gratify ourselves. Saving a life is something to be happy and proud about, because it is a good thing to do.

Second, you say that there's nothing to be happy about in life, but you also say that life is how you look at it. Yes, there is lying, cheating, and immoral acts, but there is also honesty, justice, and moral acts, too. The world is all 50-50. Normally, people have to accept the bad that is associated with every good, but you seem to need to accept the good in every bad. If the world really is how you think it is, why don't you at least try to be happy? You wouldn't have anything to lose. Again, I spent a lot of time on here posting this reply, but I believe that it will help you. If I really didn't care, I wouldn't have bothered posting this and would have done something else.


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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 09:41 PM

For some people, the empty, hopeful, obviousness of another's support is all they need, that final "Umph" to push them back up the ladder.
I suffered horrible depression.I attempted suicide 7 times. I was about to try again with a more effective means when I found this site in my last research attempts to make sure I would not fail, and the 5 minutes I gave myself and the people on this site were all i needed to turn around and start climbing my way out of that horrible pit of depression. Now, looking down into that metaphorical pit, I know how much it means for another to hold there hand out to help you out. THAT is why I go on here. I want to lend my hand to another crawing from the pit. If someone really is compleatly burrowing themselves in, It wont make a diffreance if i reach out or not, But people who post on here are allready trying to climb out of depression--- why else would they bother coming on? So, I lend my hand in hope of others returning it if I fall back into depression. Not self gratification.
And as nothing to live for? you said it, POV.


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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 11:16 PM

It can be annoying.
Personally? I don't give a damn if people tell me not to live, because I will live, I've told myself before, a bunch of times to power through and prove that my bully's can't control me.

I may it, because I CARE. I care because I know what it's like to want to die, I don't know what you're personally going through, but I know that it hurts, but wouldn't being able to say "I beat that" so much better than killing yourself?


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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 3rd 2012, 11:52 PM

Other than "fight", "Don't give up", "someone on TH is going through the same thing and can help you"....I don't try to give advice to people who are talking about hurting or killing themselves. I don't have a clue what these people must be going through, or how they fell. But I have cried at this keyboard many times while reading the pleas for help from people who are truly hurting, realizing that whatever adolescent bullshit I'm feeling sorry for myself about at the time is trivial and petty in comparison.

I've been on here a month, and I know I'm a better person with a more mature outlook on stuff because of what I see going on here. You are wrong dude. It was wrong of you to say that, and it was way wrong to say that to these people here.


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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 4th 2012, 12:55 AM

I cannot believe anyone would make a post like this and I am highly offended by it. How dare you EVER assume we don't care. In my life, I have had a TON of friends with various issues, mainly SH ones and suicidal thoughts ones. You, someone who knows NONE of us personally, mean to sit there and tell me that it doesn't matter to me what my friends go through? That I never locked myself in my room, sat on my bed in fetal position CRYING because I didn't know what else to do for them? It didn't take me a full year to tell my parents my friend was being abused because I was too scared to break her trust and hurt her even more? I didn't freak out and feel sick when I saw slashes across my friend's wrist in gym class? And now, after watching friends go through all that, it means nothing to me to help other people? I don't actually sit there and think of good and gentle answers? Wow. You don't know everything, don't pretend like you do. Cause all of us here are here for a reason, we care. If we didn't, we could be doing other things with our lives. Don't even try to tell me what I feel because you don't know anything about me.


   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 4th 2012, 02:10 AM

I agree with the post above mine. This website was created in an environment to help help people. People on this website have saved my life. They gave me words of encouragement something that I needed. Sure it is the person's choice whether or not to act upon their intentions, but why not tell someone else why to live? And it is not sick. I personally enjoy helping people and may want to be a psychologist one day and sometimes I need help. This website was created for that as I stated above.
   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 4th 2012, 09:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by minniemouseprincess View Post
I cannot believe anyone would make a post like this and I am highly offended by it. How dare you EVER assume we don't care. In my life, I have had a TON of friends with various issues, mainly SH ones and suicidal thoughts ones. You, someone who knows NONE of us personally, mean to sit there and tell me that it doesn't matter to me what my friends go through? That I never locked myself in my room, sat on my bed in fetal position CRYING because I didn't know what else to do for them? It didn't take me a full year to tell my parents my friend was being abused because I was too scared to break her trust and hurt her even more? I didn't freak out and feel sick when I saw slashes across my friend's wrist in gym class? And now, after watching friends go through all that, it means nothing to me to help other people? I don't actually sit there and think of good and gentle answers? Wow. You don't know everything, don't pretend like you do. Cause all of us here are here for a reason, we care. If we didn't, we could be doing other things with our lives. Don't even try to tell me what I feel because you don't know anything about me.
Perhaps I didn't clarify myself well enough in the first post.
The only reason you care about your friends is because you need interaction with other people and a consistency in your life. If you didn't have friends or something constant you would feel lonely/depressed, or end up unstable whether it's physically, mentally, or emotionally.

So in order to counter the fear of losing that constant part of your life, you protect it. Whether this is caring or not doesn't matter. Sure. It's caring. But it's not genuine caring. It's a selfish act.

I personally cannot stand friendships because if you truly care for a friend there are worries beyond your imagination. [EDIT] Heck if my thoughts stopped at abuse and self harm i'd be the happiest man on this earth.

I've been able to predict the outcomes of multiple friendships and relationships because I put in enough caring to actually realise the kind of person they are and from there I simulate what's likely to happen between various key people and themselves. I've thought through every single one of my friends' relationships with a girl and the end result is almost fucking symmetrical to what I predicted. It gets to a point where I just can't talk to people through the day from the load on my mind.

If you even began to understand how complex life and humans really are I doubt your body and mind could handle the stress. [EDIT]

Last edited by Everglow.; February 4th 2012 at 01:28 PM. Reason: Editing out things that could be seen as a potential attack on users.
   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 4th 2012, 01:01 PM

I think you need help.


You believe there's somewhere else
Where it's easier than this
And you see outside yourself
And you buy the hole you'll fill
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 4th 2012, 01:04 PM

Sometimes, someone who has been there before, WISHES that someone had cared for them during that period in their life. They understand the pain and anguish and just want to be that SOMEBODY for others.
It isn't any kind of self-gratification they receive, it's giving to someone else what they wished they had gotten themselves.

And, honestly? If these people didn't care, they wouldn't be here. They wouldn't spend so much of their time helping others.

Who knows? Some people may not care. Why does that matter? The ones who take the time to reply obviously DO care, or they would just skim over this post and not think twice.

Being someone who struggles every day with PTSD, anxiety, manic depression, and (past) suicidal thoughts, I know for a fact that when I needed help, I wish I would have had a place like this to turn to.

Because sometimes, people in real life don't give a damn. The thing about online forums is that the people there understand you, because they've gone through similar or the same things.

And yeah, I agree with you that sometimes it feels like it's just the same message over and over, "it'll get better! you'll make it! be happy about what you do have!", I don't sugarcoat things when I reply. Sometimes, it won't get better for a long, long time, if ever. But the thing is...recovery isn't just about "getting better", it's about the process to getting better, and having support (yes, even if it's someone you don't know in real life) along the way.

Last edited by stefanie_m; February 4th 2012 at 01:12 PM.
   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 4th 2012, 01:05 PM

And please don't post things like this anymore. You may not care, but most of us care deeply about everyone else on these forums, and we really try to help them. Because we know they are hurting and know what it feels like and even though we don't know them very well, we want to make them feel better. So quit saying that we don't care. You are the one who doesn't understand.
I wish you could open your eyes and see the better things in life. You would be so much happier.


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Where it's easier than this
And you see outside yourself
And you buy the hole you'll fill
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 4th 2012, 01:19 PM

But, honestly, I don't blame him a bit for feeling the way he does.
I felt like that too, at one point.
And I see his side, and understand it. But I don't exactly agree with it.

There are people here that genuinely care, and there are probably people here
that honestly just do it to feel like "well, I did my good deed for the day. I saved a life. WOOHOO!"

The ratio of that is probably caring:self-gratification as 1000:1.

I doubt anything anyone says is going to change his opinion.
But I hope he knows that there are people that care.
Hell, I'm one of them. I'm here for him if he needs someone.
And if he doesn't? That's cool too. It's his life.

Ultimately, it isn't up to us to make him feel better...it's his choice.

This is the place where people reach out to get help. It's a great place.
I know that by being here for a little over a week!
   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 4th 2012, 07:21 PM

If you hate friendships that much, then you must not have any. And for that, I feel sorry for you. I don't care what you say about me. But I know myself and I know I care about my friends. And im thankful to have every single one of them in my life.


   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 4th 2012, 10:28 PM

Quote:
The only reason you care about your friends is because you need interaction with other people and a consistency in your life. If you didn't have friends or something constant you would feel lonely/depressed, or end up unstable whether it's physically, mentally, or emotionally.
Ah, but the friends are in a friendship with you as well. Friendship isn't a one-way thing--it runs BOTH ways between the two people. Now, some friendships are more balanced than others--some give more, some take more, and sometimes it's closed to equal. But the point is to have a certain stability in your life, and to have someone that cares about you, supports you, and helps you when you need it. And in return, you do the same for them. It's a mutual thing. So, while friendship is "selfish", in a way, it's also very SELFLESS, because you are giving someone else the very same thing you are seeking.


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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 4th 2012, 10:46 PM

How DARE you even THINK for one MINUTE that I don't "genuinely" care for these people. I'm going to use one in particular as an example.

I stay up all hours of the night just to talk to one of these people. I have gone to school sick because I haven't had sleep for days because I was so worried about him and had been talking to him all night. I have cried my eyes out because of some of the things he feels/says. I feel physical pain seeing him so sad. It is unbearable, but somehow I still do it. You know why? Because I love and care about him. Don't you even TRY to say that I don't care about these people. I devote HOURS and HOURS (literally like 4-6 hours a day, sometimes more.) to talking to this one person. Even if we talk nonsense, I know that at least maybe I've brightened his day a little. And knowing this allows me to live a little happier.

I do not do Live Help (for hours at a time sometimes) because it gives me a sick sense of satisfaction. I don't do ANY of the things I do for only myself. I care about these people, and I hate seeing them suffer. I am going to do all I possibly can to help them out.

[Edited by Loving Linux Penguin]. You don't know me, and you obviously don't know any of these people. We care. You can't say we don't.
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Last edited by Loving Linux Penguin; February 4th 2012 at 10:56 PM. Reason: removing rude/disrespectful comments
   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 4th 2012, 10:56 PM

You clearly have a completely different opinion. You don't know depression as much as you don't have a clue what anyone is like to make a statement that people don't care, I'm suicidal, I suffer from depression, I will offer help to anyone who needs it, not because it makes me feel better because it does not... because I know what its like to be helped because I have had support. Support is caring and what people need when there depressed and you are wrong to make a statement basically saying it is fact that everyone who is trying to help, is to help them selves.

And what you do has a huge effect on your mood.. " It isnt what you do that makes you happy" You are saying that 1000's of doctors are wrong by saying that, as I'm sure any doctor would tell you that what you do effects your mood. Doing positive things can make you positive. It is a MENTAL disorder which means its all in your head... which means what you do effect that.

What was your point in making this post?
You clearly have no Idea about anyone, and you are wrong if you think people help other people to make them feel better. Sure some people might feel better in them selves, but who go's I know what I'll help them because then I'll feel better, people put there point across because they care about others You might find that hard to believe but SOME people are kind in this world... unlike some...
   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 4th 2012, 11:00 PM

^Although I wouldn't have said it in such a harsh way, I completely agree with what has been said above. I, and probably many others too, have sometimes worked our butts off for someone that we care about. I don't have to stay up past 9 or 9:30 if I don't want to...I could go to bed and get plenty of sleep. But I don't. Ya know why? Because I spend typically 2-3 hours on this site every single night trying to help people. And there have been people in such bad shape where I was willing to stay up all night if they needed me to. THere have been times when I've helped someone until 2 or 3 in the morning. Which is fine. I'm more than happy to go the extra 5 miles to help somebody out. And I know that others in this site are in the same boat. So yes, we genuinely care--about you, and others in our lives.


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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 4th 2012, 11:03 PM

Honestly, I'm incredibly offended by this thread. Don't accuse members of TH of helping others so they can feel good about themselves. Like Lynds said, if we didn't care, we wouldn't be here helping. It's as simple as that. You're right about one thing - what we say might not change a thing about the way that person feels. But, we do still care. That's why this site was created - to give people who are struggling a community where they can be built up. Most of the time, the people that come here are looking for support, which is something everyone here can offer because they want to see each other get better. There is so much more I could say, but I don't want to be rude.


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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 5th 2012, 12:41 AM

This is why I'm on here. You choose to see one side of the argument. Do you realize how many people just see one side? I don't feel any better after telling someone something than before I did. But if someone wanted to take their own life, and they're posting on a forum for people to read, it's apparent that they're looking for something. Maybe they're looking for someone to tell them not to do it, maybe they're looking for someone to tell them to just do it already. But honestly, it's the person's decision at the end of the day, as it always will be.

I'm not here to tell people not to kill themselves, and I'm not here to tell them to do it either. I'm here because people need to stop being so closed-minded and look at more than just one side of everything. And through experience, I know what it's like to be on both sides, and what it's like to look at both sides.. Even if after hearing me out, I make no impact.. oh well, that's their decision.

Just like your post right now. You're right. I don't know anyone on here, and from time to time, I tell people not to do things.. but someone might be able to relate what I'm saying to a personal issue of theirs. I get no personal gratification from helping others. But I'm still here. And you're posting here, therefore you want someone to argue and/or agree with you. Do you feel the satisfaction of hearing something that may or may not help you?

Hope can't be false if you go looking for it. It's there, regardless of how negative you are. If you don't care about hope, if you just feel nothing towards feeling better or making someone feel better, hope is meaningless. But if people are coming here asking questions, pushing there problems out and opening up, there's hope.


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

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Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 5th 2012, 01:04 AM

I do care if people are depressed! I've been depressed before, hell I still get depressed from time to time. I understand what it's like and I don't want people to feel that way. If you take a second to look at things clearly, many people have gotten out of that depressed state because they finally realized that people care about them. Those people see a way out and have hope that they will be happy one day. It's happened before and it does happen all of time.

I have to ask you something. Should we all stop caring and just let everyone become depressed? Everyone would be if people didn't take the time to care and give hope. We all have to stick together to make the most out of this life.

Now please, if you're in this depressed state now, I urge you to open your mind and keep pushing forward. You can be happy.

Yes, helping people does give me self-fulfillment. Helping people to become happy makes me happy for them. If helping people isn't your "cup of tea" then you don't have to, but do not bring others down, please.
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  (#36 (permalink)) Old
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 5th 2012, 01:27 AM

First thing first, I find your whole post incredibly offensive, not to mention completely false. I feel very sorry for you, honestly. It makes me sad to think that you are so unhappy with life that you deny there even is such thing as people who care about the well being of others. I'll admit, I've gone through periods of times where I doubt how much truth there is in messages such as "It will get better," and "There is always hope."

I especially know that your statements are false, and I can use myself as an example. See, recently my problem has been that I am too nice to people. I give and give to others, without expecting anything in return. I have friends who take advantage of me, but I'm not sure how to cut my ties with them, and I just keep giving. I'm not trying to sound conceited or like I think I'm amazing, because I don't. But I would gladly give my life for someone I love and care about. And I would gladly help whoever I can. When I hear stories on the news about people killing themselves, people I don't know, it makes me feel sick and sorry.

There are many people that care about others, and I know this from the periods of time I have spent on TH. Who dedicates so much of their time to others purely for self gain? They're not getting paid. Most of the time they're not even making friends. They give advice because they care about others, and they want to make a difference. These people struggle themselves. They've been suicidal, maybe even reached a point where they don't see happiness in life anymore. But they still want to make sure other people see that happiness, even if they themselves do not.

You're right, hope is false-- for the people who refuse to believe in it. Hope is one of those things you can totally turn your back on. But it never goes away. There will always be people who care, and I hope one day you are able to realize that and are able to recover from whatever it is that is causing you to feel the way you do. But I will say this; accusing and doubting the people who only try to help you is not going to get you anywhere.





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 5th 2012, 09:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dantheman1992 View Post
You clearly have a completely different opinion. You don't know depression as much as you don't have a clue what anyone is like to make a statement that people don't care, I'm suicidal, I suffer from depression, I will offer help to anyone who needs it, not because it makes me feel better because it does not... because I know what its like to be helped because I have had support. Support is caring and what people need when there depressed and you are wrong to make a statement basically saying it is fact that everyone who is trying to help, is to help them selves.

And what you do has a huge effect on your mood.. " It isnt what you do that makes you happy" You are saying that 1000's of doctors are wrong by saying that, as I'm sure any doctor would tell you that what you do effects your mood. Doing positive things can make you positive. It is a MENTAL disorder which means its all in your head... which means what you do effect that.

What was your point in making this post?
You clearly have no Idea about anyone, and you are wrong if you think people help other people to make them feel better. Sure some people might feel better in them selves, but who go's I know what I'll help them because then I'll feel better, people put there point across because they care about others You might find that hard to believe but SOME people are kind in this world... unlike some...
Clearly doctors can be wrong because it's quite evident from my experience in life that positive things do not make you feel positive.

I do not have a mental illness or even anything considered depression. I am simply a person who does not extract enjoyment out of being alive on this earth. Clearly believing doctors, who have no clue about anything that happens in the brain, shows how much of a sheep you can be.

Thinking something positive makes you feel positive is all in your head. If you view the world the way I do nothing is positive simply because nothing is worth being happy about.
   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 5th 2012, 10:25 AM

So if you do not suffer from a mental illness. like I said Its in your head which is exactly what you came back at me with quoting what ive already said.. your right doctors can be wrong.. but I'm sure in THERE experiences they know the best way to help... but you are still very wrong by saying that no one cares.. I didnt stay up till 4.30 in the morning last night because it made me feel better.. because I feel worse because ive had less sleep.. I did it because I wanted to be there for people because I Care.

And being a sheep for believing doctors, when they have saved many peoples lives that I know by medication or treatment they have given.. I think I have a right to be a sheep, my life was saved at one point because of the treatment they gave me, I might not be permanently cured but I am still. And clearly if you do not believe in doctors or getting help thats why you are so low, because you are refusing any help what so ever and being negative.. what you need to do is realise your problems and try to get help with them instead of bringing others down with you, because that is careless.
   
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 5th 2012, 11:04 AM

I'm sorry you feel like this really i am, you know why? because people do care and its sad that people dont see that.
alot of us have lost dear friends from suicide, and from their walls, you can see that people god dam well care. Maybe it might be a little bit selfish sure, because it freaking well hurts us so much when we lose someone.


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YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
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Re: For those saying 'don't kill yourself' - February 5th 2012, 02:18 PM

I am so angry right now, how the hell dare you imply we don't care about those who are suicidal! I've had friends who have contemplated suicide, and just had my first suicide-related death the other day (in fact, the same fucking day you made this thread! I swear.... Ugh, I'm shutting my mouth on that.) so don't fucking say I don't care. I fought to keep those friends alive and I wish my recently-deceased friend was still here.

I may be selfish in wanting to keep them on the earth to have our friendship, but guess what! There's more than one people who want them to still be here! It's best we be the selfish ones than our suicidal friends, because things will get fixed and go right if we keep them from killing themselves. Suicide just brings pain to everyone thanks to that person's hopeless and selfish mind.

I agree with everything Lynds, Chris and Lorra have said. How the fuck dare you!
   
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