Triggering (Suicide): What to do?

[Speckled Gecko]

Basicallly, my depression is getting worse again. I thought I was getting better but everything seems too much again. The past few weeks i've been feeling really down in waves, where i could just about manage to make myself feel better in the breaks. But now i've sunk again, everything seems way too much and i'm struggling to see a point in being here. i say to myself "My mum would get used to it, she'd just feel weird with me not being around" Then i feel ten times worse for thinking about doing that to my mum, then that makes me want to do it more because i realise how much of a horrible person i am! I'm going round in circles!! Even the thought of my school getting inspected tomorrow (routinely) is making me feel sick, even though it has nothing to do with me!! What the ehck is that about?!!
I'm so sorry, you probably didn't wanna hear all that absolute crap and you're all going to be really annoyed at me for complaining. Believe me, i hate myself sooooooooo much for offloading on others, i'm not being fair and this makes me feel even worse!! Sorry!!!
Sophie

[xxprincessxx]

Don't be sorry! That's what we're here for! As for the depression getting worse again, maybe you should tell somebody about it, so you get the proper help? It's not any fun living like this, I know but you can get through! I believe in you! Also, I know that you say that your mom would get used to it, but you don't. Nobody gets used to their loved one not being there in general, but definetly not through something like suicide. I'm sure she'd much rather you let her know what's going on than having you suffer and hurt yourself!

If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me!

[MusicIsEverything]

Sorry you're feeling this way . Me too. And don't feel bad at all, please, because it really does help to talk to people about it, so complain complain complain! We don't mind. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk

[minniemouseprincess]

Sweetheart its okay=( Part of it is you just gotta calm down. Take a deep breath and say to yourself "Okay, im doing it again, there's nothing to worry about, its okay." You're not a horrible person, never have been. I agree with Sammie though about telling someone that your depression is getting worse. I think if you catch it now while its just now getting bad again, it will be easier for you to get help with it.