I've always been the perpetual friend. Even when I hate everything else about myself I fall back on knowing that I'm a good friend to anyone who needs one. This is exactly what made it so hard when my best friend told me he was depressed and wanted to die. I live a pretty sheltered life and I'm not exposed to things like this but I gave it my best shot to be helpful and I knew I shouldn't have but I promised that I wouldn't say anything to anyone. For the next week it rolled around in my head is he serious? is he going to be ok? and yet I kept my promise. The next Friday I returned from a basketball game and my dad sat me down on the couch and told me some "sad news." My best friend tried to kill himself, he's ok but all I can think is that I should have said something. What kind of a best friend keeps a promise like that? Am I just as guilty for not telling someone who could have done something to help?
You probably feel guilty for that reason, but let me assure you IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! Just because you have a friend suffering with depression, doesn't mean that they are going to try to commit suicide (like he did.) You had no idea that this was going to happen and it's not your fault! You did what any good friend would do and tried to be there for him! Don't feel to bad about it! Just be happy that he's going to be okay and get the proper help that he needs now! (:
all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.
Oh sweetheart=( Its not your fault though, like everyone else has said. It really isn't. I know how hard that is. I've had a lot of suicidal and SHing friends. It takes SO much out of you to tell someone sometimes because its so scary and you don't want them finding out. But i've learned you really should in case stuff like that happens. But you know what, you didn't know the extent of it, you didn't know he was doing so bad. Don't beat yourself up over it okay? He's okay and he will be better now that he's prob getting help. You were a great friend to just listen to him when he needed you. I bet he loves you more for that=)
Its better now that I've gotten to talk to him. The whole week between finding out and getting to hear from him tore me up worse than anything. And its kind of ironic that the first full deep conversation we've had since was about MY cutting. Its crazy to me that he even remebers that conversation much less wants to make sure I'M doing ok. Thank you guys soooo much I mean i feel really winey but thanks for the feedback.
Awww, see, he's fine and he's going to be fine. Maybe you guys can get through it together. I think in some ways its kinda good to have someone in your life that is going though some of the same things at the same time.