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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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tracey1212 Offline
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Unhappy How do i tell myself that i should throw them out?? - February 6th 2012, 12:06 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So i am just going to get to the point: I feel sucicidal, I dont think that i would do anything, because i have the fear of hurting others and i know how this would kill others till they die.
I have a bunch of pills that i have saved up since i have been taking medicine. I dont take meds anymore, but i have them. I keep them so that i feel comfort. They make me feel like i have the choice. I dont know if that is a good thing or not. I also have razors that i could cut with but i dont once again having them makes me feel comfort.
I dont know what to do, is it normal to keep these things, bc what if one day i do want to do it and go get those pills or those knives??
HELP ME!!!!


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-life is not about waiting for what you want, but going out and seeking/finding what you need.

The truth about life: you only get one!!!

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.
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Re: How do i tell myself that i should throw them out?? - February 6th 2012, 12:12 AM

I wouldn't say it's normal to keep these things around and it's definetly not healthy, but considering what you're a going through, it's no uncommon. You really should throw these things out because honestly they're just a bigger trigger to you. If you have suicidal feelings and have the stuff, then it could end bad. It would be better to not have it, so you know for sure that you cannot do something like that.

If you even feel slightly suicidal, (like you say you do) you need to get help ASAP! Talk to an adult, call a suicide hotline or 911 and tell them what's going on they can help you get the help that you really need!

Hang in there!
If you ever want to talk, feel free to send me a PM!


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Re: How do i tell myself that i should throw them out?? - February 6th 2012, 12:16 AM

I can understand that having the pills and the razor blades make you feel comfort in that you know you have the choice whether to use them or not. But I'm sorry you are feeling like this. Have you tried talking to anyone that you feel you can trust about this? There are so many people in your life that want to see you succeed, including the people on here. Would it be possible for you to make an appointment with your doctor to talk about this? They may be able to help you find someone to talk to or other ways to help you feel that life is worth living.


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And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour."
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Re: How do i tell myself that i should throw them out?? - February 6th 2012, 01:08 AM

i talk to a counslor once a week, i told him last week that i ahd these thoughts, i mean its not like they are active, they come and go as my mood changes and as i have situations arrive. nothing in my life is bad right now, it is just that something can come up before a blink in an eye. I do have to admit that i have not had the best of life and i do think about the bad times all the time. I try to just blow them out of my mind like they are not important, or something..
I dont believe that having them will affect me, and i dont want to find out either. i honestly am scaerd to throw them out because i am frightned that if i do then i will have a breakdown and if i do then i may resort to other methods that are unhealthy to cope...
i just dont know what to do...


Tracey A.
-life is not about waiting for what you want, but going out and seeking/finding what you need.

The truth about life: you only get one!!!

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.
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Re: How do i tell myself that i should throw them out?? - February 6th 2012, 01:15 AM

That's awesome to hear that you are know how you are feeling and what makes you feel bad. Having an optimistic outlook or being positive is so important to how you view your life. If you look for the good, you will find the good kind of thing. If you do know what triggers you to feel bad, make a plan of things to do to distract you from doing something bad. Write a letter about why you love yourself and read it every time you feel down. The Adolescent Self Injury Foundation website is awesome for little tricks like that.

If you feel they are a comfort measure right now, keep them. But once you feel ready, talk to your counselor about getting rid of them and other coping strategies that you can use instead. Does that make sense?


"To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour."
William Blake - Auguries of Innocence
   
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Re: How do i tell myself that i should throw them out?? - February 6th 2012, 01:17 AM

Its not uncommon and I can understand it, but I think you should try to get rid of them because they could pose as a potential danger to you. You'd be safer without them. The point is to stop cutting and suicidal thought completely. And part of the way to do that I think, is to get rid of what helps you do these things. However, you can't do this alone. You need more support. If you haven't yet, i'd tell your therapist about these items and how you feel like you need to keep them. I also think when you DO go to throw them out, you should have someone there with you like a friend or your mom or dad. Someone there to make sure you don't fall low again and to hopefully prevent that from happening. You'll overcome all this if you set your mind to it.


   
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