I need advice ASAP

[abbiekadabbie]

Hi,
I have posted here before and i have gotten really good advice in the past. I really need advice on what to do. I tried killing myself for the second time a couple days ago. There are a few people who know but all except one yelled at me for letting it get that far.
I want to tell my guidance counselor but i really dont know how. A couple of months ago my name was reported for cutting and being suicidal. Ever since then my counselor has been checking up on me but i keep telling her im okay even though im not. I'm lieing to her because when my name was reported my mom didnt do anything about it. She talked about getting me help but it never happened. Regardless i'm living with my grandparents because my mother broke her knee and is in a rehab hospital for it (she has a whole host of other medical problems).
I almost told my counselor but i chickened out at the last second. I really need help because i have very few things that are keeping me alive right now. Please i really dont know what to do.

[abbiekadabbie]

Also my mother put me back on my ADHD meds that aggravated my depression. Though i never tried to kill myself while on my meds. My doctor says that my meds to cause or aggravate it but in the side effects section depression is listed as a possible side effect if there is a family history which i do have. My mom was clinically depressed for about 3 following my dads death.
Just thought this might be revelant.

[kitkat kati]

i know you are having problems... but think of all those that care about you so much.... how would it effect them if you did commit suicide. they care about you a lot and dont want you gone.... i know its hard to tell people... trust me, i do. i may not know exactly how you feel but i do know some things... please... tell your counselor... tell your counselor about how your mom said shed get you help but never did... tell them how only a few things are keeping you alive... please tell them... i dont know what id do if i lost you abbie... you have no idea how much i care about you... you truely are like a sister to me. you know that i will always be here for you. i will try my best to help you. and if i need to, one day i will go with you to someone and help you to tell them and get you help... i will do whatever i can to help you abbie... you have no idea how much i truely care about you.
-your "wife"

[abbiekadabbie]

Im at a loss as what to do. i really just dont know what to say to my counselor. She thinks that im better and that im past my depression when really im not.

[xxprincessxx]

Just tell her the truth! I know how hard it is but you know how much you need to get help! Write her a letter explaining how you feel and drop it off and leave, that way you cannot chicken and she can call you to her office after she reads it!

[abbiekadabbie]

If i do that she will call my grandparents and im pretty sure they would addmitt me to the mental hospital

[xxprincessxx]

But you'll get help! If your suicidal they make put you on 72 hour watch at your local hospital. But it's not that bad! It's just a bunch of group therapy and meeting with a psychatrist, in order to figure what's going on and to get you the help that you'll need. Then you'll make a plan about getting help after you are released! I think you should consider it. Getting help is a good step!

[minniemouseprincess]

No, I dont think you'll go to the mental hospital. You may go to a normal hospital, but I doubt it will be longer than overnight although I don't totally know. But you really should tell hun. You do need to get some help somehow.

[Unfortunate]

First i would like to say i am sorry you are having such a hard time. But suicide is never a good thing. I agree with every one. I think you should tell your counsellor. It will help you. I know its really hard, but it'll help in the long run. You could write a letter, or just come out and say it before you decide not to. I hope you get help hun. <3

[~Individuality~]

Although it may make me a bit of a hypocrite answering this I completely understand what your going through...i've done the same things recently, though my mum doesn't know about my cutting and being suicidal, so i don't get the help i need. I think you need to tell her, it may be hard, but it will be worth it. No one wants you to get hurt, if it's really getting that bad, you should tell her so she can help you before it gets any worse

[abbiekadabbie]

i dont know if i can bring myself to do it. Telling my counselor would be like telling the whole world about my problems and once i do that everyone will be up my ass about it.

[minniemouseprincess]

No it wouldn't because the counceler cannot tell anyone. She will only tell your parents if she feels you are in danger. But she can ONLY tell your parents. She/he would get in serious trouble if they told anyone else.

[abbiekadabbie]

im a minor and if my counselor thinks that i am a danger to myself she can call my mom or grandparents. she can only call them because my mom is in a rehab for her knee right now

[xxprincessxx]

this is true. but she wouldn't be telling the whole just who is in charge of the care of you right now. i really think you need to bring yourself to do it! can you maybe e-mail her?

[minniemouseprincess]

Originally Posted by abbiekadabbie

im a minor and if my counselor thinks that i am a danger to myself she can call my mom or grandparents. she can only call them because my mom is in a rehab for her knee right now

Yeah thats what I said, the only people she can call is your family and thats ONLY if she believes you are in serious danger. I was just trying to tell you nobody else will know but possibly them. So you don't have to worry about that.

[abbiekadabbie]

If my grandparents know then my uncle tom (my grandmas diabled brother who lives here) will find out as well and he tells everyone everything because he cant remember what hes allowed to tell people and what he not. Having my grandparents know would set off a chain reaction.
i know your just trying to help and i hope im not coming off as rude or anything.

[minniemouseprincess]

No you're not, I understand what you are saying. But im also saying, if you don't get help, you could get worse. And I care and don't want to see you get worse.

[abbiekadabbie]

I just wish there was a way that i could get the help i need with out having to tell my mom or grandparents.

[Unfortunate]

I know what you mean. But even if they find out it will be ok. It won't be the end of the world. Your grandparents can help. <3

[abbiekadabbie]

My grandma is the type of person that if you ignore the problem it will go away. She was always the one who would 'shove things under the rug'. My grandfather is like talking to a brick wall and there are a few issues i have with my grandfather.

[minniemouseprincess]

well....I wonder if there IS a way to do it so they don't know...Maybe one of the people that work for the suicide and SH hotlines can help you? I think they've been known to give suggestions on where to go. If you told them the situation, i'm sure they'd be able to figure something out. Here's the number.

1-800-784-2433

[abbiekadabbie]

Thank you. Youve litterally been a life saver.

[minniemouseprincess]

I'm very pleased to help=) Let us know what happens okay?

[abbiekadabbie]

I will. Thank you again.

[minniemouseprincess]

You are so welcome hun=) And you can message me about anything anytime=)

[abbiekadabbie]

Okay. I'll remember that.