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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Name: Krista
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me.. - February 10th 2012, 04:44 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Im becoming more like the people I promised myself I would never become... I hated myself before and now I hate myself even more. I'm bitchy, I'm grumpy, im crabby, im stupid, im ugly, disgusting, fat, detestful.... I dont like me...I dont want anyone to be around me because Im scared Ill hurt them or make them upset.... I just want to die and Im really not seeing a point in living anymore. Im living for my girlfriend and cat.. I love her to pieces. Shes everything. I dont want to leave her because she loves me (i dont know why) but she definitely deserves better than me.... and my cat has known me since he was born and would be lost without me. *sigh* I just wish I could be someone else...anyone else.





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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: me.. - February 10th 2012, 07:01 PM

I'm sorry that you are feeling this way! I'm sure that you are not any of those things that you listed though, depression is like a mask, you can't see the good about yourself because your minds refuses to let you! Try speaking positive things over yourself whenever you starting feeling negative. It helps, maybe not right away but after awhile.

Also, I think that you really need to talk to somebody about how you are feeling. Having these thoughts aren't healthy especially if they make you suicidal! You need to get help, ASAP! If you feel like you are going to go through with the sucidal urges, please call a suicide hotline or go to your local hospital! Life gets so much better, you can pull through!

If you ever want to talk, feel free to send me a PM!


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
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you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

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Re: me.. - February 11th 2012, 07:15 AM

Babe=( You aren't these things. From what i've seen, you are a beautiful, BEAUTIFUL person. You leave the kindest comments on peoples posts and you are always ready to help. You're really understanding and gentle. I haven't noticed you be mean or crabby or anything ever. And like I said, you can change. You can always change. Don't give up on yourself. You're still so young. You're only a year older than me and I myself know I have a lot of changing I need to do. We can tackle it together, you aren't alone Krista. I'm not letting you be alone. I don't like that your gf doesn't let you be honest with her and tell her when you are upset. But I do know she loves you and there must be a reason why, a good reason. If you were really as bad as you say you are, she wouldn't love you. I wouldn't love you, I wouldn't be typing this message. Please don't leave, don't hurt yourself. Because thats whats gonna hurt not only yourself but other people. Believe me, I know. Had a lot of experience with that. Hurting yourself/killing yourself does a lot of damage to not only yourself, but the people in your life. They won't forget and they won't recover. You deserve so much more. Please keep on trying. Sammie is right about the positive thinking. Just think about how lucky you are to have what you have. And also yes, talking to someone is kinda a necessity right now. I know you don't fully trust your therapist, but i'd try to find someone you do trust and tell them. I think it will help. I'm right here if you need me. I love you dude.


   
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