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cant take much more... - February 14th 2012, 09:37 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have been trying to get better. I have good days and bad days just like everyone else, but lately its been all bad days. I cant handle this anymore. Im so pertrified that my mum is going to leave me, either off her own back or something that isnt in her control. So i cant help wondering if i wasnt here then i would never have to worry about her going anywhere. Its only me and mum and has been for a heck of a long time. I dont know what id do without her. Ive stopped all contact with my dad a few months ago and its being eating me up. Ive been the one to feel guilty when it should be HIM! After everything he has put me through my whole life and im the one that feels guilty!? Ive been self harming for about a year and a half on and off. but my mum found out and took me to the doctors who then diagnosed me with seperation anxiety disorder and referred me to a Psyciatrist again. I use to make myself sick all the time to cope with everything but loved ones made me stop. Now they want to take my cutting away from me? I just feel like i cant go on anymore...
   
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Re: cant take much more... - February 15th 2012, 05:37 AM

What makes you feel so scared that she is going to leave you hun? Just because of how you are doing at the moment? If thats why then no. she won't leave you. Your mom loves you. Of course she's going to stay with her daughter. She may worry about you dude but she also wants to see you get better and get help.


   
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Re: cant take much more... - February 15th 2012, 03:06 PM

My mum says to me , the reason i feel the way about her leaving is because everyone else either leaves me or comes and goes. My mum is the only solid person i have in my life and im just so scared shes going to realise, that she doesnt want a screwed up daughter who cuts herself and other things...
   
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Re: cant take much more... - February 16th 2012, 12:34 AM

I once had the same issue as you and still sort of having the same issue. I used to be a total wreck and I felt like depression was consuming my life. I was horrified and stayed up at night paranoid that my mom wouldn't be able to stand me anymore and that I was a failure of a daughter in her eyes for not being perfect and for being all depressed.

Have you talked to your mom about it? I find that talking to my mom helps a little.


Just a girl with an angel above, just a girl with an angel to love. My angel grew wings and she did dare to fly. But I promise my angel, it's only good night but never good-bye. My angel, my angel in heaven above. My angel, my darling, you'll always have my love. Rest in peace, my sweet darling, it's only temporary that we part. My angel, my angel, how you still do steal my heart </3


   
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Re: cant take much more... - February 16th 2012, 12:43 AM

No hun, I really don't think she will leave. But I do think you should talk to her about it because I think it would comfort you to do so.


   
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Re: cant take much more... - February 17th 2012, 08:59 PM

I am the exact same! I hate it because im going to be 18 soon and dont want to be so "clingy" as my friends put it. I have spoken to her about it and she always says she would never leave me if its in her power. She promises me she would never do it but because all im use to is empty promises it just seems so doubtful. Its my problem i have to face off with and my doctor keeps saying but I physically feel sick everytime she goes out the door or doesnt answer her phone...
   
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