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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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I am so lost. - February 18th 2012, 06:16 PM

I am hiding in my closet, scratching myself with my fingernails, and my parents just found me. My dad tried to get me to come out and I wouldn't. He asked me if I had been hurting myself, I lied and said no. He sat there and cried for five minutes, and told me that he loved me and he didn't understand. He really wants to help me, but he just doesn't know how.
I hate this all so much.
I don't want to die.
I want to live the beautiful happy life that some people have, but I can't, and that hurts enough to make me want to choose death over this hell that I am living. It hurts so much. I want to mean something to someone. No one will ever really know me. No one will ever fall in love with me.
I hate this so much.
Why???????????????
I am so alone.


You believe there's somewhere else
Where it's easier than this
And you see outside yourself
And you buy the hole you'll fill
-Foo Fighters
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I am so lost. - February 18th 2012, 06:56 PM

I'm really sorry that you're going through this! It sounds like your parents really care about you and love you though! Why not let them support/help you through this rough time. I know how hard that can be but that's what they're there for and they obviously want to do something for you! Do you see a therapist by any chance? I'm sure that could help you out a lot too.

Please don't give up and throw it all away, life might suck right now but it gets so much better. And nobody has a "perfect, happy beautiful" life, EVERYONE has tough times, but we all get out of them as well and we can then see the beauty that life has to offer! Trust me, you want to keep hanging on and get to that point.

I know you may feel "alone," but you're not! I know for a fact that you have us on TH and your parents. That right there makes you not alone in the world, I'm sure there are also friends and other family members that care about you dearly! Hang in there, if you want/need somebody to talk to, feel free to PM me!


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
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Re: I am so lost. - February 18th 2012, 07:03 PM

Thanks... I know they want to help me, but it only hurts me more. I don't know why. But they can't understand, even they have said so, and all they do is make it all worse, no matter how hard they try.
And I do have a therapist, she's nice and all, but it makes me feel worse. All these people constantly asking how I'm feeling, trying to understand what's going on in my head.... It just buries me. It makes it all so much harder.


You believe there's somewhere else
Where it's easier than this
And you see outside yourself
And you buy the hole you'll fill
-Foo Fighters
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I am so lost. - February 18th 2012, 07:04 PM

My mom and dad and nine year old sister are arguing about me. They probably think I don't hear them.


You believe there's somewhere else
Where it's easier than this
And you see outside yourself
And you buy the hole you'll fill
-Foo Fighters
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
xxprincessxx Offline
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Name: Sammie
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Re: I am so lost. - February 18th 2012, 07:28 PM

Do you know why it hurts you more when people try and help? Maybe that's something you could bring up with your therapist?


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Member
Average Joe
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Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 124
Join Date: January 29th 2012

Re: I am so lost. - February 18th 2012, 08:25 PM

Maybe I will talk to her about it. thank you.


You believe there's somewhere else
Where it's easier than this
And you see outside yourself
And you buy the hole you'll fill
-Foo Fighters
   
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