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Snowy Offline
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hate myself more - February 19th 2012, 07:19 PM

Am i just scared?
Am i ready to go?
Am i scared my parents will hate me more?
Do i need Help
Do i want Help?
I am getting tired.
Thats what runs through my mind every day and every hour to every min like a clock on a wall hits 12 twice a day. its like if i ask for help im the worst person on the earth, its not one day i can go without contemplating just ending it, its like whats the point on going on if i cant get help or people will hate me and say there nothing wrong with you. your just crazy. its like just when i think its getting better it gets worse, am i destined to just fail? like am i worth the time i spend here, id say not but people that assume that saying ''you are'' when you know ur not just makes it all better, but in reality it makes it 10 times worse. its like people just want me gone. and my parents say they love me all the time but i know they dont mean it or they wouldnt be so mean to me. and.
Am i just scared? Why would i be scared?
Am i ready to go?
Am i scared my parents will hate me more? yes
Do i need Help Some would say i do
Do i want Help? yea i could use some
I am getting tired. yeah im getting tired of doing this everyday and feeling the same.
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lauri Offline
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Re: hate myself more - February 19th 2012, 07:57 PM

You may have depression. If you do which it sounds like you do you should look for a therapist. I dont know your parents but they may not be being mean there just being a parent. LIke when parents disapline we think there being mean but really there doing it to teach us because they love us. So maybe you dont like what your parents are saying or soemthing. The teenage years are hard we fight with are parents more. Its only because were teenagers were at the stage of a teen and adult but not quiet a adult yet. Im sure your parents love you you may fight with them but they still want to be there for you. You need to opean up to your parents they love you they want to support you. Your parents cant do that if you dont let them in let them know your sad tell them why your sad. Ask them to find you a therapist. Its hard I know but baby steps tell them you feel upset becaus e of whatever. If you cant say it write it down and give it to them.

If You Are Suicidal,
You Are Not Thinking Straight !

Just like when we are upset & angry with someone
  • Reasoning power is impaired.
  • We feel, think, say, and do things we often "don't mean" and are sorry for later.
  • In depression we are biochemically upset all the time.
It's as if a malfunctioning

part of your brain is fooling you !!

Don't Believe What You Are Thinking and Feeling !!

The Pain speaks to us
  • The pain is making you think and believe that you have to die.
  • You feel that your life is over and that depression is a terminal illness.
But you don't have to die.

  • Depression, Just like Cancer
    • If you don't discover it,
    • If you don't treat it -
    • It will get worse and maybe kill you.
  • With Depression - The longer you go untreated the more likely a suicide attempt could be.
But is depression treatable ?

Yes, highly treatable.

  • And new information & treatment options are coming out all the time.
  • Staying alive and not trying to kill yourself until your treatment works is what matters.
Remember -- while the biological core of your emotions and sanity are under attack...
  • Depression is a physical illness.
  • And it has physical, biochemical treatments
  • A physical, biological illness is not a character flaw or personal weakness
  • Somewhere in the darkness of your terrible suffering, can you know that this is only a small and temporary space in a long life and better future to come ?
  • If you die, you will never know the renewed and wonderful life you could have lived after your depression was over.

The Life Force Inside You -


It holds you back from attempting suicide
  • It causes painful conflict when suicidal thoughts compel you.
  • Hold onto that something; it does not want you to die.
  • If suicide were the right thing to do, why would it be so painful to contemplate ? Why so difficult to do it ?
  • The pain says STOP - turn around - go back to life - try to make it work - try to make it right.
  • Your life force wants you to go on, find treatment, and make a meaningful life for yourself and those you love or will love.

I got all this at this website PLEASE CHECK IT OUT IT CAN REALLY HELP YOU. Please reach out and talk to your parents and find a therapist that can help you with your depression. http://suicide.com/suicidecrisiscenter/whylive.html

How do we make life meaningful ?

By correcting, changing, improving our faulty brain chemistry.
  • Depression is a Treatable Illness.
  • You have the power to stop the hurting if you reach for the help you need.
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