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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
wasas Offline
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Angry Is this normal? - February 20th 2012, 07:20 PM

Now, alot of people know me as a really happy person to be around. And I know I can be, but I can also get into these depressed angry states. Sometimes it will just be something small that will piss me off, but I'll really let it get to me, for instance this morning. I was woken up late for school after not the best day yesterday, followed by a sleep that was awoken by my cough every hour; not the biggest deal. 20 minutes behind schedual, (though, I specifically told my mom to wake me up 20 minutes early so I could shower in the morning. Yes my mom wakes me up, honest because my alarm clock is broken) With limited time I decide to run a quick bath so I can wash my body but keep my hair dry so it was one less thing to do next. I undress and jump into the warm water, an eighth of the way full the water turns cold. No hot water left. Now, before I continue this isn't the first time this has happened, or I'll continue the rest of the morning with a series of unfortunate events. But, even after burning my foot on my straightner, missing the bus, and then forgetting my wallet on the next one, I still can see the brighter skies. But, now I will continue with this morning. The majority of my body that was out of the water and cold was enough to keep the little that was in, in. I decided I was waiting until the hot water was back until I got out. 20 more minutes wasted, still furious I got out to my mom yelling if I wasn't leaving now I wasn't getting a ride; as she drops me off on her way to work, and can't be late. At this point my anger was at its peek, that was it... My past twelve hours were so crappy I wasn't going to school. I quickly felt guilty and thought if I wasn't going to school I would be bored (something else I may get more into, but I fear/loathe bordem) so soaking wet and pissed off I rushed into my moms car. Her bitching (which usually I laugh off, but couldn't stand today) set me right off by the time I got to school, so I got out of the car, walked through the front doors and out the back to the bus stop where I saw my bus pass me. Half an hour later I was home and pissed I left in the first place. Lets just say I basically threw a tantrum. Now, I'm angry I am missing another day of school because I was angry or upset. This is something thats out of the norm for me though, before my boyfriend and I broke up I would honestly feel like I wanted to ruin his time with me for something small that he did to piss me off. Something I could sometimes just brush off. I don't know if it has much to do with the mood I begin with or that I'm just short tempered or what.
...Sorry another little story, this has to do with the big stuff. So, like I said sometimes I wont just be pissed off until I go to sleep, but for weeks. For /another/ example, every year since grade 9 I slack a bit and miss a few days of school that I wont catch up on, then March or April comes around and it hits me. I realize I'm in too deep to pass, and loose the point of trying, resulting in dropping out. I've been at three different schools in the past three years because I am too ashamed to go back looking like a failure... But I always do go back.
I haven't ever talked to a councilor or my doctor about this because when I'm back to good I'll be back to good for awhile, and be the positive patty the lady on the "kids help phone" told me to be today.

*Usually when I'm angry I get feelings like..
I am very irritable
I like to brake/throw things
I have a constant feeling in my throat as if I almost want to scream
I am very easy to cry
..I would say usually I experience my anger atleast 2 times a week, and long term probably twice a year.

I don't know if I suffer from depression or a personality disorder or what.. But does anyone, or know anyone who suffers these symptoms have any advice, or clarity for whats wrong with me.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
LostAngels Offline
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Re: Is this normal? - February 20th 2012, 07:28 PM

Hi there, welcome to the site.

Alright, so I don't mean to imply anything with the following response, but the way you act sounds almost exactly like my boyfriend.

I've been seeing a guy for the last few months, and he has Aspergers syndrome...*
Say him and I made plans one day, and something really important came up and I had to cancel. He absolutely flips. Not at me directly, but he gets so angry it's ridiculous.

Another example, is if we're texting about nothing particularly important, he doesn't reply for an hour, and I fall asleep; he gets super angry again.*

Other than his irrational thinking, he's otherwise a super regular guy.*
But with Aspergers, people are unable to rationally understand some things, therefor act irrationally.*

All I have to really suggest is seeing a psychiatrist. It isn't good for anyone to be so irritable, especially yourself.*

Best of luck & take care*

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours" - Stephen Roberts
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anger, confused, depressed, mad, normal, personality disorder, sad, whats wrong with me

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