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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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lozzabra374 Offline
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Name: Lauren Mathews
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I now have depression and im scared. - February 24th 2012, 05:12 AM

I am 15 and I am sorry for this long story of my life. Just warning you now...

When I was 1 and a half my parents split up and I was living with my mother. I was seeing my dad every second weekend, and sometimes during the week.
I spent most of my time at my nan and pops. My nan is my idol and I cherrish her with my life. My pop was a very sick man and was in a wheelchair due to a stroke. So he could not do anything for himself and he could not talk either. As I grew up he got sicker and sicker, besides becomeing my bestfriend and my life. When I was 5 he was in hospital because the pain was to much. A few months after the doctor gave him the wrong medication and killed him. I have been like this ever since. I still have to cry myself to sleep because I can't take the thought of my bestfriend leaving. Me and my nan have been even closer ever since and then as I grew up not seeing my father all the time killed me also as we were so much alike and so close. Me and my mum started fighting to the point I tried more then once to kill myself because she was close to killing me. We had to get family counseling but that didnt help at all, in fact I think it made it worse at times. At about 13 I was going out with my first ever " boyfriend " and I thought he was my world, but after a year we fought way to much and it just brought back way to many memories of my mum and dad fighting in front of me. I couldnt take it. So I broke up with him after 1 year and 6 months. After about 3 more months I thought I found the most incredible guy, who actually liked me for me. Turns out he just plays girls and I was just another one. He cheated on my at a party and so I broke up with him and now we fight and scream everytime I see him. My first boyfriend was still obbessed with me but when I told him to go away because I didnt love him anymore he now tries to get back at me by threatening me with stuff he knows about me. And he is slowly killing my life. He broke me and my best guy friend/ boyfriend up and now he hates me, over something the other guy made up. I am slowly loosing all of my friends and I want to die. I have depression thanks to everyone calling me name because of what he made up about me. And that thought of my pop leaving. I live with my dad and step mum now because of me and my mum fought way to much. I now have an amazing boyfriend but I now have sleeping anxiety and I shake in my sleep. I don't know what to do because I dont want tot go to someone about either of my problems and I havent even told my boyfriend because I feel that he will think im weir and different.. Help me..


Lauren Mathews <3
   
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Re: I now have depression and im scared. - February 25th 2012, 12:35 AM

Babe, if you tell your bf and he thinks you are wierd, he isn't worth your time. Friends and bfs are supposed to take you exactly the way you are and always be there for you and love you no matter what. If he doesn't do that, it isn't meant to be. He isn't the one. If you want to tell him, tell him. Maybe it will make you feel better to talk about it. I'm sorry about whats happened in your life and I can see how you'd be hurt so much afterwards. But just think to yourself, your life won;t be the same forever. In time, don't know how much but someday, things will be different, better. True, some friends won't stay forever. But you'll make new ones as the years go by. Thats what life is. Don't let people like your ex bfs bring you down. You are better than that. They are idiots to make you feel bad like that. They don't deserve you in their lives. I think you should talk to someone about all this, even if its not your bf. I think it would do you a lot of good to be able to let some stress off your chest and just talk about it.


   
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lozzabra374 Offline
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Name: Lauren Mathews
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Red face Re: I now have depression and im scared. - February 27th 2012, 09:01 AM

Thanks heeps I dont think you realise how much it means to me I got the courage to tell my boyfriend today. He doesn't care if I have the biggest mental problem out, he said he loves me no matter what and is more proud that I told him.


Lauren Mathews <3
   
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