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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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natatalie Offline
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new and seriously in need of help - March 1st 2012, 08:36 PM

i've been depressed for a year and a half now, and it's getting to the point where i just can't take it any more
i've gone through bulimia, which i replaced with self harm, and the bulimia's starting to rear its head again because i seriously can't stand my body or my thoughts
i've spoken to the school nurse, i have had multiple conversations with my mother (mentioned the bulimia too), and i've told a couple of friends, but none of them have been able to help, if they've even tried
i feel like i'm drowning or about to explode or just drain and become nothing, and i'm trapped
i have a suicide plan, and i have the means to carry it out, with a backup plan in place too, and i am seriously terrified that i'll end up doing it, because the amount of times i've come close. thing is though, pretty much the only thing that's stopping me is the idea that i might do it wrong and i'll be left living in an even worse state than before. the rest i can leave behind, and the people will be happier without me
i just don't see another way out, because i've tried to get help and that failed, i've tried to get better by myself and that didn't work, and i'm just so sick and tired of the world. death seems like pretty much the only way, but i'm still scared, and i wanted to write in here while my mindset was good so that hopefully i wouldn't back out and i could get some help and advice before i manage to talk myself out of it
sorry about the ramblings here, but i would really appreciate any help
   
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BulletHoles Offline
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Re: new and seriously in need of help - March 2nd 2012, 01:41 AM

I am in this boat everyday of my life. I know how hard it is. There is so much beauty in this world. We just have to see it. The sunrise in the morning, the sunset in the afternoon. The little gifts God gives you to get you through the day.
You aren’t just a computer screen. You’re a person. A beautiful person you deserves to live and see the day when your scars fade. The day you get to say that you we’re strong enough to survive.
Some people need some help sometimes. And thats okay. Ask someone, anyone. Just help yourself get better and reach out.
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
xxprincessxx Offline
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Re: new and seriously in need of help - March 2nd 2012, 02:20 AM

Hey,

I'm really sorry that you are going through all of this! Have you ever sought out help from a professional about this? If not, I really really think that is what you should do! Family and friends are great support systems, but you need somebody who is trained in handling these problems to get over this! This isn't something you can do alone, which you've tried and it didn't work! I really suggest finding a therapist to help you through this, maybe talk to your mom about that!

About the suicide plan, you really need to tell somebody about this as well ASAP! Life might seem like it's not worth living, but it is! You can get through this! Please reach out to somebody and let them know that you are suicidal and need help!

If you want somebody to talk to, please feel free to send me a PM! I'm always here!


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
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Silvia Offline
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Re: new and seriously in need of help - March 2nd 2012, 02:51 PM

Hey Natalie,

I'm very sorry about how you're feeling and I have to tell you that I totally understand you... It looks like you don't know how to cope with the hard time you're living and the shit in your life. If u stop and think about it, you have used the wrong tools all the time: first you've tried with food and that self hate hasn't disappeared. Then you tried self harm, but the pain doesn't go away and now you're considering suicide. You'll stop living but you won't solve the problems, you'll just give up on yourself...

Sometimes we need help from a psychologist who guides you so that you get to know yourself better and you will learn some strategies and will develop some weapons to fight the harsh situation you're going through. Try professional help, anyway, if you're considering suicide remember you don't have anything to lose, so don't give up until you have considered and tried all the possibilities...

You're not alone, ok? Write here whenever you want or send a Private Mss or whatever, believe me, things will turn better with time, but sometimes we are so fucked up that it is impossible to see it...
   
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midnight424 Offline
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Unhappy Re: new and seriously in need of help - March 4th 2012, 03:45 PM

I know exactly how you feel the only differences is that I have not had Bulima and that i have been depressed for three almost four years. Trust me you will have good and bad times.
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