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MadPoet Offline
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Name: Amanda.
Age: 24
Gender: Female.
Location: Michigan.

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I hate myself. - March 7th 2012, 11:30 PM

I don't hate anyone as much as I hate myself. I hate that I'm not gorgeous or even beautiful. I hate that I'm overweight and that no guy will ever like me. I hate that someone is always mad at me and I even frustrate myself. I hate my personality. I hate my sense of humor. I hate myself so much. And I don't know how to change myself. Things like losing weight, I can do. But how do you go about changing your whole personality, and everything that you are? And even if I did, I have a feeling I'd still find something wrong with myself.

The truth is that I don't see a future for myself. I plan it, and I dream about it. But if I continue hating myself, I'll never have anything but depression. I read books and watch movies and TV shows and hide from my life because I hate it. I want to change everything about myself, but I don't know how. I feel helpless.

It's not the same as it used to be, where I felt depressed for absolutely no reason. It's my insecurities, the fact that I'll never find anyone who is interested in me, and the fact that I will always hate myself. I don't know how to escape it...





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
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Solivagant Offline
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Re: I hate myself. - March 11th 2012, 02:14 PM

Hey Amanda

I am sorry that you feel this way, you most certainly don't deserve this. I hope that things get better for you real soon.

Everyone is unique, no one is perfect. But imagine a world where everyone was the same! Life won't be that interesting in that case. I think our beauty lies in our imperfection. They make us unique. I probably won't be making any sense to you. But I want to say that, be happy in who you are. Because their is only one of you in this world. You're unique, and beautiful, inside and out. You may not feel like it but you will eventually find someone who loves you for who you are. And you will love who you are when you're around that person. That matters too.

I'd suggest talking to someone about this. Maybe your school counselor? Talking to a professional face to face will do you good. Open up about your feelings. Keeping them in won't do you any good. Making this thread was one step towards opening up for which I am proud of you. Take more steps lovely, you deserve so much better than all this.

I am always here for you if you need to talk.
Take care and stay strong <3



"Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it."

-Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
   
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